A  B  E  N  I  K  I 
CALDWELL 

BT 
CAROLYN  WELLS 


LIBRARY 

UNIVERSITY  OF  CALIFORNIA 
DAVIS 


Abeniki  Caldwell 


1 

1 

3? 


A  b  e  n  i  k  i 
Caldwell 


A  Burlefque  Hiftorical  Novel 


By 

CAROLYN   WELLS 

Illuftrated  with  numerous  engravings 
printed  from  the  original  wood  blocks 


New  York 

,  1$.  ftuffrfl,  Publifher 
1902 


LIBKA'RY 

UNIVERSITY  OF  CALIFORNIA 
DAVIS 


Copyright,  1902,  by 
ROBERT  HOWARD  RUSSELL 


First  Impression  October,  1902 


UNIVERSITY   PRESS   •    JOHN    WILSON 
AND    SON       •       CAMBRIDGE,     U.  S.  A 


TO 
LAURA  FITHIAN  JONES 


CONTENTS 


CHAPTER  PAGE 

I.    THE  NAPOLEON  FEATHER 1 

II.    THE  POISONED  HANDKERCHIEF 23 

III.  D'ORSAY'S  LEFT  FOOT 46 

IV.  THE  POT  OF  PAINTED  BUTTER 65 

V.    AN  EASTER  GREETING 87 

VI.    THE  BRASS  ANDIRONS 107 

VII.    THE  LOYALTY  OF  LORRAINE 122 

VIII.    THE  SIX-SIDED  SQUARE 143 

IX.    THE  COUNTERFEIT  TICKET 162 

X.    THE  ISABEL  SCARF .  183 

XL    THE  IDES  OF  MARCH 197 

XII.    THE  RED  ROSETTE 215 

XIII.  THE  CONFESSION  OF  CALLIMACHUS 233 

XIV.  THE  TRICOLOR  OF  LORRAINE 252 

XV.  THE  SOMNAMBULIST  OF  THE  MONASTERY     .     .     .  268 


CHAPTER  I 


THE  NAPOLEON  FEATHER 

WOE  betide  us,  —  all  is  lost ! " 

These  words,  uttered  in  an  ominous,  despairing 
shriek,  pierced  on  mine  ear  with  prophetic  force, 
and  I  knew  my  glorious  hopes  were  doomed  to 
disappointment. 

"  Ha ! "  I  thought  silently  to  myself ;  "  who 
hath  spoken  ?  Who,  with  a  bold  disregard  of 
time  and  place,  hath  dared  *thus  to  utter  his  fateful 
conviction  ? "  I  glanced  cautiously  about  me. 

The  scene  was  a  dazzling  one,  and  right  merry 
withal.  The  spacious  ball-room,  hung  with 
posy  garlands  and  twinkling  with  a  myriad  wax- 
lights,  formed  a  fitting  field  for  many  a  gay  bud 
and  blade  who  danced  away  the  hours  all  unwit 
ting  of  their  approaching  doom.  Ah,  thus  had 
there  been  a  sound  of  revelry  by  night  when  the 
Assyrian  came  down  like  a  wolf  on  the  fold,  and 
sic  semper  tyrannis. 

I  hesitated  for  the  millionth  part  of  a  second, 

and  then,  for  I  was  ever  impetuous,  I  dashed 

[   i   ]  [     1     ]  across 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


across  the  room  and  seated  myself  in  a  red  velvet 
armchair.  Red  velvet,  did  I  say  ?  Red !  nay, 
by  my  troth,  't  was  blue,  —  blue  as  the  violets 
nodding  by  the  mere ;  blue  as  the  noble  blood 
that  coursed  through  the  royal  veins  of  Francis, 
England's  greatest  king. 

It  was  foolhardy,  that  mad  dash  across  the 
apartment ;  but  as  I  had  foreseen,  the  manoeu 
vre  outwitted  my  enemies,  and,  all  aglow  with 
satisfaction,  I  addressed  myself  to  Lady  Alys 
Allardyce,  who  gazed  at  me  over  her  peacock- 
feather  fan  with  eyes  of  not  unfathomable 
meaning. 

"  Hist ! "  said  she,  lifting  a  warning  forefinger, 
"  listen  thou,  but  speak  no  word." 

"Aye,  madam,"  I  murmured  in  return,  for  I 
was  ever  obedient ;  "  I  am  dumb  before  thee ; 
thine  shall  be  the  discourse,  thine  the  explanation. 
Mine  is  it  silently  and  humbly  to  obey  thy  orders, 
even  though  they  lead  through  Danger  to  Death. 
At  thy  bidding  I  embrace  the  direst  Danger  ;  at 
thy  behest  I  rush  eagerly  to  darkest  Death. 

[  2  ]  Queen 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


Queen  of  my  heart,  accept  the  proffered  aid 
of  thine  humblest  servant  and  give  me  the 
straight  tip." 

"  'T  is  well  said,"  quoth  Lady  Alys  Allardyce  ; 
and  in  silence  I  proceeded  to  adjust  my  purple 
velvet  cloak,  which  hung  in  graceful  folds  over 
my  white  satin  doublet  slashed  with  cloth-of- 
gold. 

"  But,"  said  my  ill-fated  companion,  and  her 
clarion-like  voice  sank  to  a  faint  falsetto,  "the 
time  is  ripe;  yet  'tis  an  evil  hour  when  I, 
a  daughter  of  the  House  of  Harlech,  shall  be 
tray  such  gruesome  secrets  to  an  alien  ear." 

"And  shall  the  vaulted  chamber  remain  for 
ever  locked?"  I  cried. 

"  Alas,  no,"  she  answered,  "  the  Curse  of  the 
Clurichaune  must  fall  —  must  fall!" 

She  spoke  the  last  words  with  a  Cassandra- 
like  look  that  sent  shivers  to  my  spine,  but  I 
replied,  — 

"  The  Curse  of  the  Clurichaune  will  fall,  but 

only  after  the  Cyprian  scorpion  shall  have  strewn 

[    4    ]  the 


THE  NAPOLEON   FEATHER 

the   desert   with   the    bones   of    his   traitorous- 
hearted  victims." 

This  moved  her,  and  I  looked  up  to  see  the 


"  The  sound  of  wheels  and  the  clatter  of  horses'  hoofs  " 

Lady  Alys  smiling  at  me  from  the  other  side 
of  the  room. 

Shivering  with  cold,  I  drew  my  plaid  more 

closely  about  me  and  strode  onward  across  the 

[     5     ]  Scottish 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


Scottish  moor.  The  night  was  dark,  and  the 
storm  came  in  fitful  gusts,  bending  the  old 
sycamores  until  they  snapped  from  their  stems 
and  lay  prone  in  the  dense  shadows  of  the  forest. 

My  heart  was  filled  with  a  black  bitterness  of 
woe,  and  ever  in  my  ear  a  demon  seemed  re 
lentlessly  to  hiss,  "  Revenge  !  Revenge  ! " 

I  had  traversed  perhaps  a  dozen  leagues  of 
misty  moorland  when  I  heard  a  sound  behind  me. 

Grasping  my  rapier,  I  looked  back,  but  I  saw 
nothing,  so  dark  was  the  night. 

'T  was  only  by  listening  intently  I  heard  the 
sound  of  wheels  and  the  clatter  of  horses'  hoofs 
on  the  asphalt. 

"  Who  comes  ? "  I  cried,  as  I  valiantly  drew 
sword,  and  prepared  to  defend  my  life  against 
hostile  attack. 

A  piercing  shriek  was  the  only  answer. 

But  such  a  shriek !  It  made  my  very  heart 
stand  still  with  mingled  joy  and  grief. 

For  it  was  a  noble,  educated,  aristocratic 
shriek;  a  polished,  cultured  shriek;  a  gentle, 

[  6  ]  refined, 


THE  NAPOLEON   FEATHER 

refined,  musical,  and  altogether-to-be-admired 
shriek.  Such  a  shriek,  in  fact,  as  could  proceed 
only  from  the  ruby  lips  and  pearly  teeth  of  a  fair 
damsel  in  distress.  Surely  some  beauteous  maid 
of  noble  birth  had  exercised  her  patrician  lungs 
in  bewailing  some  troubles  of  her  own. 


**  Phrased  in  that  staccato  accent  " 


And,  again,  her  mishap  or  misfortune,  if  mis 
hap  or  misfortune  it  were,  was  dire,  sudden,  and 
unexpected. 

For  the  shriek,  though  of  enchanting  sweet 
ness  of  tone,  was  pitched  in  that  high  key,  and 
phrased  in  that  staccato  accent  which  always 
betokens  fear,  terror,  or  distress. 

By   a   series    of   swift    mental    computations 

relating  to  the    square   of  the  sound  plus   the 

[     7     ]  distance, 


ABENIK1   CALDWELL 


distance,  I  arrived  at  the   conclusion  that  the 
beautiful  unfortunate  must  be  exactly  two  miles 


**  The  cattle-yard  at  Coningsburgh  " 

and  a  half  away  from   me  in  a  northeasterly 
direction. 

"  By  the  helmet  of  St.  Swibert  I "  I  exclaimed, 
"  the  prowess  of  this  single  arm  shall  serve  to 
rescue  suffering  Beauty  from  aught  that  may 

[     8    ]  assail," 


THE  NAPOLEON   FEATHER 

assail,"  and  in  tones  of  hope  and  reassurance  I 
called  to  the  unknown  Fair  One :  — 

"  Fear  not ;  a  sword  and  lance  are  at  thy 
service,  O  Damsel  in  distress !  I  will  protect 
thee." 

I  paused  only  to  gird  my  gabardine  more 
closely  round  me,  and  then  set  off  hot-foot  for 
the- scene  of  carnage. 

There  are  few  more  imposing  bits  of  scenery 
in  all  France  than  the  castle-yard  at  Conings- 
burgh,  where,  well  defended  by  walls  and 
ditches,  rises  the  ancient  edifice,  which  was, 
previous  to  the  Conquest,  a  residence  for  the 
royal  kings  of  England. 

Eagerness  and  excitement  acted  as  wings  to 
my  feet,  and  I  fairly  flew  across  the  moor,  and 
arrived  on  the  spot  just  in  time  to  see  a  coach 
and  four  come  tearing  madly  round  a  turn  in 
the  road. 

The  horses  galloped  at  such  a  pace  that  the 

coach  rocked  from  side  to  side ;  the  postillions, 

pale  with  fright,  shook  in  their  saddles,  while 

[     9     ]  the 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


the  outriders  clapped  spurs  to  their  horses  and 
disappeared  round  the  edge  of  the  cliff. 

The  coach  was  a  brave  one,  gilded  and 
painted  in  the  style  of  Louis  XIV.,  and  the 
servants'  liveries  betokened  a  house  of  rank. 

But  ere  I  could  more  than  glance  at  the  fair, 
frightened  face  in  the  coach  window,  I  perceived 
the  cause  of  the  hubbub  to  be  a  dozen  or  more 
attacking  brigands,  who  on  coal-black  stallions 
pursued  the  fleeing  coach. 

"  Halt ! "  I  cried  in  stentorian  tones,  and  held 
up  my  right  hand  with  a  menacing  gesture. 

The  chief  of  the  brigands  advanced  with  a 
bold  front,  but  I  thought  I  detected  a  quiver 
of  his  left  eyelash. 

"Varlet!  who  art  thou?"  he  cried,  and 
lunged  at  me  with  his  naked  sword. 

"  I  am  Claude  Kildare,"  I  replied,  "  and  right 
dearly  shalt  thou  pay  for  daring  to  attack  a 
Kildare  of  Kildare." 

So  saying,  I  dashed  at  him,  and  ere  he  might 

so   much   as  wink    an   eye,   I   sent   my   sword 

[     10     ]  through 


The  coach  was  a  brave  one 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


through  his  heart,  and  drew  back  the  flashing 
weapon  dripping  with  the  fiend's  gore. 

A  yell  of  rage  broke  from  his  companions. 

Roused  to  fury  by  the  death  of  their  chief, 
they  attacked  me  with  cries  of  vengeance  and 
I  had  great  to-do  to  parry  all  their  thrusts  at 
once. 

But  by  a  clever  bit  of  sword-play  I  killed 
two  of  the  brutes  and  struck  the  swords  from 
the  hands  of  three  others. 

Then  with  my  left  hand  I  fired  my  revolver  six 
times  in  quick  succession.  This  did  for  six  more, 
after  which  I  had  only  four  to  contend  with. 

Infuriated  to  the  verge  of  frenzy,  these  demons 
in  human  shape  flew  at  me. 

One  clutched  my  throat,  but  with  a  swift, 
clean  cut  I  severed  his  arm,  and  then  turned 
sharply  on  the  others  who  were  attacking  me 
from  behind. 

"Come  on ! "  I  cried,  for  my  spirit  was  roused, 
and  another  glimpse  of  the  fair  face  at  the  coach 
window  urged  me  on  to  grand-stand  play. 

[     12     ]  They 


'•  So  saying,  I  dashed  at  him ' 


ABEN1KI   CALDWELL 


They  came  on,  since  I  insisted,  and  one  be 
hind  another  approached  me  with  fell  intent. 

"  Dogs ! "  I  cried,  and  with  a  blood-curdling 
yell  of  triumph,  I  ran  my  trusty  sword  straight 
through  the  five,  —  aye,  spitted  the  rogues  as 
a  cook  runs  a  skewer  through  reed-birds. 

They  fell,  weltering  in  their  own  gore,  and 
then,  resuming  my  courtly  air,  I  turned  to  the 
damsel  in  the  coach.  I  bowed  before  her,  sweep 
ing  the  ground  with  my  plumed  chapeau,  and 
said  simply :  "  Lady  of  the  Starry  Hair,  Glory 
of  Three  Realms,  if  that  my  trifling  aid  hath 
shown  thee  aught  of  my  devotion,  grant  me 
but  one  glance  of  thy  Heaven-beaming  eye, 
that  the  memory  may  be  to  my  future  life  a 
fountain  of  exhaustless  joy." 

"  Nay,  bold  cavalier,"  said  the  lady,  "though  in 
no  wise  do  I  underrate  the  assistance  thy  good 
sword  hath  rendered  me,  yet  I  am  the  Princess 
Berenice  of  Bois-Bracy,  and  the  daughters  of  my 
house  may  not  so  much  as  glance  upon  one  of 
lower  birth  and  less  boodle." 

*      [     14     ]  Chagrined 


'*  /  had  great  to-do  to  parry  all  their  thrusts  at  once  " 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


Chagrined  and  humiliated  beyond  words,  I 
exclaimed :  "  Ha !  how  report  hath  lied !  Full 
oft  have  I  heard  of  the  beauty  of  the  Princesses 
of  Bois-Bracy,  but  even  through  thy  thick  veil 
of  black  bombazine  can  I  see  thy  hard-featured 
and  ill-favored  countenance." 

The  ruse  was  successful.  With  a  slow  sud 
den  gesture,  the  Lady  Berenice  flung  aside  the 
bamboozling  bombazine  and  disclosed  such  mar 
vellous  beauty  as  was  never  seen,  save  and 
except  in  advertisements  of  certain  soaps  and 
dentifrices. 

Oh,  that  face  !  that  face  that  gazed  out  from 
the  coach  window  as  from  a  frame  of  gold ! 
Heaven  forfend  that  I  should  attempt  to  de 
scribe  its  glorious  beauty !  The  pen  of  a  Wat- 
teau  were  all  too  poor  to  give  even  a  faint 
inkling  of  those  angelic  features. 

The  pure  Greek  profile  outlined  a  classic  brow 
and  a  nose  which  Mr.  Micawber  might  have 
waited  for ;  while  the  fair  cheeks  were  like  new 
pink  satin  pincushions. 

[    16    ]  Masses 


"  They  came  on,  since  I  insisted  " 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


Masses  of  golden  hair  rose  from  the  ivory 
temples  like  clouds  of  incense,  and  the  lips  of 
carven  coral  might  well  have  served  as  a  model 
for  Cupid's  bow. 

All  this  I  saw  ere  the  downcast  eyes  were 
raised,  but  when  the  dark-fringed  eyelids  lifted 
and  the  Orient  orbs  of  Lady  Berenice  thrilled  to 
mine  own,  I  knew  that  my  life  had  at  last  begun. 
For  love  is  life,  and  they  be  not  alive  who  be  not 
alove. 

Still  'neath  the  spell  of  that  glistening  glance, 
I  opened  the  coach  door  and  my  lady  stepped 
forth. 

Till  then  I  had  seen  but  her  face ;  now  I  per 
ceived  that  her  form  was  equally  fair  and  noble. 
Tall  as  an  Amazonian  goddess,  yet  not  too  tall 
to  be  called  petite,  her  straight,  arrow-like  figure 
was  full  of  graceful  curves. 

Her  robe  was  of  orange  wool,  with  a  kirtle  of 

pale  crimson  silk  looped  at  the  side.     Her  outer 

garment,  or  toga,  was  of  maroon  mohair  with  gilt 

fringe.     Bracelets  of  beaten  gold  adorned  her 

[     18     ]  beautiful 


The  pure  Greek  profile  " 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


beautiful  arms,  which  were  bare  to  the  shoulder, 
and  on  her  feet  were  sandal- wood  sandals. 

"  Most  Radiant  Blossom  from  the  Garden  of 
Paradise,"  I  began,  for  I  was  ever  plain  and 
simple  of  speech,  "  behold  before  thee  thy  humble 
grovelling  slave,  whose  only  greatness  is  his  un 
bounded  devotion  to  thee  and  to  thy  service. 
Goddess,  accept  my  homage ;  grant  only  that  I 
may  bow  in  the  dust  before  thee,  and  when  thou 
liftest  thy  dainty  foot,  oh,  graciously  permit  that 
I  may  get  it  in  the  neck." 

The  Lady  Berenice  was  touched,  but  bravely 
concealing  her  agitation,  she  whispered,  - 

"  An  thou  lovest  me,  drive  me  post-haste  to  the 
Inn  of  the  Royal  Rogue,  over  Borneilshire  way." 

"  Pride  of  the  Universe,  I  live  but  to  obey," 
quoth  I,  as  I  handed  Milady  into  her  coach, 
touching  her  fingers  awesomely,  for  who  was  I 
that  this  great  honor  should  come  to  me  ? 

But  as  the  Lady  Berenice  glided  into  her 
cushioned  nest,  something  fell  to  the  ground 
from  the  folds  of  her  garments. 

[     20     ]  Only 


"  *  Goddess,  accept  my  homage ' 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


Only  two  or  three  tiny,  almost  imperceptible 
fragments,  yet  as  I  saw  them,  my  heart  stood 
still  in  my  breast,  and  then  beat  fiercely  with  a 
mad  passion  which  I  could  not  quell. 

Anger,  wrath,  indignation,  resentment,  bitter 
ness,  animosity,  exasperation,  rage,  fury,  pique, 
umbrage,  dudgeon,  acerbity,  virulence,  and  spleen 
strove  for  mastery  in  my  infuriated  brain. 

Not  for  me  this  fair  Marvel  of  Maidenliness,  not 
for  me  this  Miracle  of  Magnificence  ;  and  with  a 
horrisonous  groan, wrung  from  the  very  subway  of 
my  aching,  breaking  heart,  I  forcefully  brought 
down  my  heavy  heel  and  ground  deep  in  the  dust 
those  three  grains  of  rice. 


CHAPTER  II 


THE  POISONED  HANDKERCHIEF 

XXIGH  toward  the  blue- vaulted  heavens  waved 
the  silvery  branches  of  the  cypress-trees.  Drift 
ing  blossoms  fell  from  the  brambles,  and,  blown 
by  the  west  wind,  scampered  across  the  heath 
toward  the  setting  sun. 

The  frowning  Palisades,  crowned  with  their 
Autumn  foliage  as  with  a  wreath,  looked  down 
upon  the  peaceful  Hudson  with  an  air  of  mingled 
protection  and  superiority. 

Far  to  the  south,  the  magnolia  groves  nestled 
among  the  hills  of  the  Carolinas,  and  their  waxen 
blossoms  flashed  in  the  pale  moonlight  with  an 
eerie  beauty  all  their  own. 

The  reapers  paused,  and  as  the  morning  broke 
in  unclouded  splendor  o'er  the  peaks  of  Darien, 
the  mist  of  a  dismal  February  evening  was 
spreading  its  humid  veil  over  the  line  of  low 
sandhills  between  Lochaber  and  Liddesdale. 

The  verdure  fairly  rioted  in  the  wild  exuber 
ance  of  early  Springtime,  and  the  freshly  washed 
[  23  ]  Day 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


Day  seemed  to  break  forth  in  a  glad,  sweet  smile 
that  had  been  ripening  for  years.  But  the  gayety 
of  Nature  struck  no  answering  chord  in  the  sooty 
heart  of  Claude  Kildare. 


"  The  frowning  Palisades  " 

Slamming  the  door  of  Lady  Berenice's  coach 
until  it  seemed  as  if  she  must  needs  lose  her 
balance,  her  angry  cavalier  sprang  with  one 
bound  to  the  coachman's  box,  and  gathering 
up  the  ribbons  started  the  six  startled  steeds 
off  at  a  mad  gallop. 

[     24     ]  By 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


By  the  bones  of  St.  Dunstan,  what  a  ride  it 
was !  The  horses  scarce  touched  ground  at  all 
between  their  pounding  jumps,  and  the  foam 
fairly  flew  from  their  fangs. 

On,  on,  across  the  miry  dunes,  —  on,  Claude 
Kildare !  spur  thy  horses  through  brake  and  brush, 
lash  them  o'er  ditch  and  gorge ;  bravely  balance 
the  reeling  vehicle,  now  on  one  wheel,  now  on 
another,  —  and,  by  the  Pibroch  of  St.  Winibald, 
thou  shalt  outstrip  the  pursuing  hordes  and  win 
fair  fame,  forsooth,  by  thy  high  venture. 

Within  the  coach  the  Lady  Berenice  lolled 
indolently  on  her  satin  cushions. 

"  Ha  ! "  she  said  to  herself,  "  methinks  peril 
attendeth," 

With  a  faint  interest  manifest  in  their  dark 
depths,  the  lovely  eyes  turned  a  glance  of  mild 
inquiry  upon  her  new-found  charioteer. 

"  Now,  marry  beshrew  me!"  cried  the  daughter 
of  a  hundred  earls,  "  but  the  knight  hath  a  mar 
vellous  skill.  An  a  man  can  drive  eight  prancing 
steeds  while  he  beareth  his  shield  on  his  left  arm, 
[  26  ]  and 


Joseph  McCann 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


and  holdeth  a  cocked  revolver  in  his  right,  I  need 
fear  me  no  fears." 

And  so,  content  of  her  safety,  the  beautiful 
Lady  Berenice  sank  into  a  gentle  slumber,  little 
dreaming  of  the  dark  and  deadly  plots  that 
seethed  in  the  throbbing  brain  of  Claude  Kildare. 

Thus  they  rode  on,  and  as  the  sun's  dazzling 
disc  dropped  darkling  into  the  horizon,  they  ar 
rived  at  the  postern  gate  of  the  Golden  Grass 
hopper. 

"Alight,  O,  Fair  but  False,"  quoth  Claude 
Kildare,  throwing  open  the  coach  door ;  and  with 
a  firm,  haughty  step  the  Lady  Berenice  alit. 

From  the  Inn,  behold  advancing,  with  a  fat, 
unctuous  waddle,  Joseph  McCann,  this  twelve 
years  Keeper  of  the  Golden  Grasshopper. 

His  hostelry  was  marked  by  the  rude  simplicity 
of  its  period,  and  its  fa£ade  of  white  marble  rose 
unostentatiously  toward  the  blue  heavens  to  the 
height  of  twenty-two  stories. 

A  simple  flight  of  white  marble  steps,  carpeted 
with  plain  red  velvet,  led  to  the  main  entrance. 
[     28     ]  Herr 


1 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


Herr  McCann,  though  now  in  his  thirty- 
seventh  year  come  Michaelmas,  had  a  hasty  and 
choleric  temper  and  was  greatly  slow-witted 
withal. 

His  long  yellow  hair  was  parted  amidships,  and 
fell  on  either  side  his  head  down  to  his  shoulders, 
while  a  steely  glitter  was  in  his  either  eye. 

His  dress  was  very  sumptuous  and  magnificent. 
A  scarlet  tunic  hung  from  his  left  shoulder,  dis 
closing  a  green  doublet  edged  with  ermine. 

"  Odsbodikins,  fair  strangers,"  he  cried,  "  come 
in,  and  right  welcome  be.  How  are  ye  named  ? " 

"I  am  Gaston  K.  Waldemar,"  said  Claude 
Kildare,  "and  this  lady  is  my  mother,  Mrs. 
Waldemar." 

This  statement  was  a  lying  falsehood,  and  Lady 
Berenice  knew  it,  but  awed  by  Kildare's  men 
acing  glance,  she  said  no  word. 

"  Give  this  lady  a  suite  of  rooms,"  continued 
Claude,  "  the  finest  your  house  affords,  or,  by  the 
hammer  of  St.  Dubric,  I  '11  break  every  skull  of 
your  head.  Where  is  the  lift  ? " 

[     30     ]  "This 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


"  This  way,  my  lord,"  replied  the  Innkeeper, 
trembling  like  an  aspic  leaf,  and  he  preceded  his 
guests  along  the  electric-lighted  palm-corridor. 

Claude  Kildare  strode  in  the  direction  indicated 
and  Lady  Berenice  glode  silently  by  his  side. 
He  clasped  her  fair  hand  at  parting. 

"  I  will  await  thee,"  he  murmured,  and 
his  voice  was  as  the  cooing  ring-dove's,  "  at 
nine  o'  the  clock,  by  the  moon-dial  in  the 
rose-garden." 

The  Lady  Berenice  uttered  no  word,  but  she 
flashed  on  Kildare  an  eloquent  glance  which 
seemed  to  say,  "  Naught  shall  keep  me  from  the 
tryst ;  I  will  be  there  unless  perchance  it  should 


rain." 


Ah,  little  thought  the  fair  Lady  Berenice  that 
already  the  knell  of  her  happiness  had  tolled, 
already  the  memory  of  her  future  was  menaced 
by  poisoned  shafts  fired  from  the  guns  of  envy, 
hatred,  and  malice. 

Claude  Kildare  raised  his  head,  and  with  a 

smile  that  dispelled  the   lowering  clouds  from 

[     32     ]  his 


THE  POISONED   HANDKERCHIEF 

his  brow  said  gently :  "  Gramercy,  good  yeo 
man,  and  now  hast  ale  in  thy  vaults  ? " 

"  Aye,  my  lord,"  quoth  the  Innkeeper,  "prime 
ale  and  wine  of  the  best,  long  kept  in  store  for 
such  as  thou.  Ho,  Varlets,  a  stoup  of  Malvoisie  !  " 

His  command  was  obeyed  by  a  passing  lackey, 
and  our  hero  entered  the  Gothic  grill-room  and 
flung  himself  at  table. 

The  crowd  of  merry  roysterers  carousing  there 
paid  no  heed  to  his  entrance,  but  continued  bois 
terously  to  brawl  a  roundelay. 

"  Here 's  to  Hilarity, 

Jolly  good  fellows  we. 
Fill  up  your  stein  with  Rhenish  wine 
And  drink  with  me. 

"  Drink  to  the  death  of  care, 

Drudgery,  and  despair ; 
Drink  to  a  life  with  Laughter  rife 
And  free  as  air. 

<e  Here  in  content  we  sit, 
Bothering  not  a  bit, 
Though  in  the  world's  mendacious  mart 

Men  fret  and  smart ; 
[    3    ]  [      33      ]  "Though 


ABENIKI  CALDWELL 


"  Though  in  a  morbid  mood, 

Greedy  for  solitude, 
Anchorite  grim  in  cloister  dim 
May  sit  and  brood. 

"We  have  the  better  lot, 

Here  from  all  fetters  free ; 
Happy  with  Pipe  and  Pot, 
Pledged  to  Hilarity. 

Ha,  ha,  ha !  " 

But  of  a  sudden  their  jollity  was  interrupted 
by  the  entrance  of  a  sinister-looking,  ill-favored 
man. 

O'er  his  beetling  brows  was  pulled  low  a  black 
fur  cap.  Around  him  was  wrapped  a  long  black 
cloak,  from  the  folds  of  which  gleamed  a  hidden 
rapier. 

With  angry  frown  and  surly  scowl  he  said,  — 

"  A  truce  to  this  fooling !  Cease  these  loud 
mouthed  japes  and  jibes !  Hath  not  the  cause 
been  neglected  these  many  moons  ?  Are  not 
our  spears  rusty  in  their  scabbards  ?  Do  not 
our  truncheons  hang  idle  on  the  walls  ?  Go  to  ! 
These  things  must  not  be !  Boleslaus,  dog  of 
[  34  ]  a 


"  A  sinister-looking,  ill-favored  man 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


a  slave,  get  a  move  on  thee  and  arm  for  the 
conflict!" 

"  By  the  Great  Horn  Spoon,"  quoth  he  ad 
dressed  as  Boleslaus,  "  that  will  I  not  do.  Only 
yestreen  Bertran  of  the  Red  Nose  played  on  me 
a  most  scurvy  trick.  What  did  he  ?  This  did 
he !  When  that  I  would " 

"  Hah,  sirrah,"  interrupted  a  burly  youth, 
springing  to  his  feet,  "darest  thou  denounce 
me  ?  Have  a  care  ! " 

"Spine  of  a  Lobster  1"  roared  the  latest- 
entered  one,  "  cease  this  buffoonery !  This  hall 
hath  more  the  air  of  the  den  of  a  brawling 
brotherhood  than  the  abode  of  peaceful  gentle 
men.  Make  short  shift  of  thy  quarrel,  that  we 
may  dine  orderly.  But,  soft,  —  an  alien  is  here ! 
Thy  name,  sir,  and  thy  business  ? " 

As  he  spoke,  the  fierce-looking  intruder  ad 
vanced  upon  Claude  Kildare,  and  brandished 
his  rapier  in  our  hero's  face. 

"Swashbuckle    me    no    swashbucklers,   thou 

miserable  caitiff!"   cried  Kildare.     "Know  that 

[     36     ]  I 


THE  POISONED   HANDKERCHIEF 

I  am  a  Kildare  of  Kildare,  and  he  who  tastes 
but  once  of  my  cutlass  will  never  use  any 
other." 

"  Kildare  ! "  muttered  the  aggressor,  while  his 
face  went  white  and  a  sudden  change  o'erspread 
his  features.  "Kildare,  sayest  thou?  Ah,  my 
dear  old  Aunt  Rhoda,  my  mother's  second 
cousin  twice  removed,  married  a  man  whose 
first  wife  was  a  Kildare,  ah,  me!  ah,  me!" 

Claude  was  touched,  but  as  he  had  his  fingers 
crossed  he  was  n't  it,  so  he  proceeded,  — 

"  Foul  craven,  't  is  but  too  true  !  And  for  that 
dastardly  crime  thou  shouldst  have  been  en- 
dungeoned  for  life." 

"  Ha-a-ah,  say  not  so,"  muttered  the  other, 
in  a  blithering  voice,  for  indeed  right  frighted 
was  he,  and  of  great  dolor. 

"  Hist  I "  roared  Claude,  "  utter  no  word,  but 
utter  silence !  I  command  thee !  What  is  thy 
name  ? " 

"  How  may  I  tell  thee  if  1  may  not  speak  ? " 
sulkily  muttered  the  other. 

[     37     ]  "Reptile! 


ABENIKI  CALDWELL 


"  Reptile !    darest    thou    thus    bespeak    me  ? 
Silence !     I  say !    and    tell   me   thy   unworthy 


name ! : 


"Don  Giovanni  Ziffkoffsky,"  growled  the 
victim,  with  a  rough  red  glare  at  his  tormentor. 

"  And  thy  business  here  ? " 

Kildare's  tone  was  forcefully  mild,  but  his 
eyes  shot  venonomous  darts  at  the  man  he 
questioned. 

It  must  be  conceded  that  other  things  being 
equal,  and  granting  the  investiture  of  all  in 
sensate  communication,  that  a  psychic  moment 
may  or  may  not,  in  accordance  with  what  under 
no  circumstances  could  be  termed  irrelevancy, 
become  warily  regarded  as  a  coherent  symbol 
by  one  obviously  of  a  trenchant  humor.  But, 
however,  in  proof  of  a  smouldering  discretion, 
no  feature  is  entitled  to  less  exorbitant  honor 
than  the  unquenchable  demand  of  endurance. 

Though,  of  course,  other  things  being  equal, 
and  granting  the  investiture  of  all  insensate  com 
munication,  no  feature  is  entitled,  in  accordance 
[  38  ]  with 


"  Kildaris  tone  was  forcefully  mild,  but  his  eyes 
shot  venonomous  darts  at  the  man 


ABENIKI  CALDWELL 


with  what  under  no  circumstances  could  be 
termed  irrelevancy,  to  become  warily  regarded  as 
a  coherent  symbol.  And  doubtless,  in  proof  of 
a  smouldering  discretion,  and  in  accordance  with 
one  obviously  of  a  trenchant  humor,  it  may  or 
may  not  be  warily  regarded. 

Though  it  cannot  be  denied  that  the  true 
relevancy  of  thought  to  psychic  action  is  largely 
dependent  on  the  ever-increasing  forces  of  dis 
regarded  symbolisms.  And  this,  again,  proves 
the  pantheistic  power  of  doubt,  considered  for 
the  moment  and  for  the  subtle  purposes  of  our 
argument,  as  faith.  For,  granting  that  two  and 
two  are  six,  the  corollary  reasoning  must  be 
that  no  premise  is  or  may  be  capable  of  such 
conclusion  as  will  render  it  sublunary  to  its 
agreed  parallel. 

But  this  view  is  ultra,  and  should  be  adopted 
with  caution. 

We  are  therefore  forced  to  the  conclusion 
that  pure  altruism  is  impossible  in  connection 
with  neo-psychology. 

[     40     ]  In 


THE  POISONED   HANDKERCHIEF 

In  view  of  this  and  in  consequence  of  which, 
Don  Giovanni  Ziffkoffsky  answered  and  replied  : 

"  Claude  Kildare  of  Kildare  of  Kildare,  I  am 
a  scion  of  proud  and  haughty  lineage.  I  am 
haughty  with  the  haught  of  a  long  line  of  noble 
nabobs,  and,  for  myself,  I  scorn  thee !  Ay, 
scorn  thee  with  all  the  objurgatory  contumely  of 
a  proud  soul.  But  --  there  are  others.  No 
longer  am  I  a  Solitary.  No  longer  am  I  the 
Bachelor,  the  Misogynist,  the  Celebrated  Celi 
bate.  To-day,  ah,  but  only  to-day,  led  I  to  the 
altar  a  blushing  bride,  a  lily-like  lady,  who  vowed 
unfaltering  fealty  - 

With  one  stride  Claude  Kildare  crossed  the 
great  hall  and  clutching  Don  Giovanni  by  the 
throat  shook  him  as  a  housemaid  shaketh  her 
dusting- clout. 

"  'Sdeath  ! "  cried  Claude  Kildare,  and  his  eyes 
blazed  like  headlights,  while  his  voice  was  as  a 
train  which  roareth  in  the  tunnel. 

Don  Giovanni  shook  with  alarm,  but  said  no 
word  for  cause  of  Claude's  throttling  thumbs. 

[     41     ]  "Ha, 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


"  Ha,  Poltroon,  thou  milksop,  thou  jelly !  dost 
thou  quiver  with  fear  ?  Then  will  I  scare  thee 
stiff!" 

Having  made  good  his  threat,  Claude  con 
tinued,  — 

"  Scum  o'  the  earth,  Dreg  o'  the  dust !  where 
is  she  ?  What  hast  done  with  the  fair  maiden, 
the  beauteous  bride  of  an  hour  ? "  Don  Gio 
vanni  hesitated;  Claude  Kildare  waited,  —  waited 
and  yet  waited.  The  room  was  as  still  as 
silence. 

Kildare  held  his  breath,  and  waited. 

The  old  Union  clock  struck.  After  an  hour 
it  struck  again. 

Then  Claude  Kildare,  being  of  impatient 
humor,  kicked  Don  Giovanni  and  hissed,  "An 
swer,  Varlet !  T  is  up  to  thee." 

Don  Giovanni  pouted  and  said,  "  Cease  thou 
to  badger  me.  I  know  not  where  she  may  be. 
Brigands  attackted  our  wedding  coach,  and  I  was 
obliged  to  flee  for  my  life." 

"Now,  by  St.  Anthony  1"  cried  Claude 
[  42  ]  Kildare, 


'Sdeath  I '  cried  Claude  Kildare,  and  his  eyes  blazed  like  headlights  " 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


Kildare,  "'tis  as  I  guessed.  And  her  name, 
proud  bridegroom?" 

"  Lady  Berenice  —  "  began  the  Don,  but  Kil 
dare  raised  a  threatening  hand. 

"  Enough ! "  he  said,  and  his  voice  was  quiet, 
—  ay,  even  as  a  mill-pond  is  also  quiet  just 
before  its  dam  breaks,  — "  enough,  I  perceive 
thy  finish.  But  I  am  magnanimous  of  soul. 
'T  is  mine  to  kill  thee,  —  and  far  be  it  from  me 
to  deny  my  joy  therein,  —  but  'tis  thine  to 
choose  the  manner  of  thy  taking-off." 

"  Nay,  not  so,"  quoth  the  Don,  with  politeness 
of  speech ;  "  duels  of  all  sorts  are  to  me  but  as 
child's  play.  Do  thou  choose." 

"  I  command,"  said  Kildare,  drawing  himself 
up  to  his  full  height  of  seven  feet  six ;  "  obey  in 
stantly  and  select  thy  choice  of  place  and  weapons, 
or,  by  the  beard  of  St.  Dunstan,  I  will  bury  thee 
alive!" 

"  Then,  my  lord,"  said  Giovanni,  with  a  mock 
ing  gleam  in  his  eye  (he  had  but  one),  "  then  I 
choose  a  duel  on  a  tight-rope  that  shall  be 
[  44  ]  stretched 


THE  POISONED   HANDKERCHIEF 

stretched  across  and  above  the  Black  Devil 
Falls." 

Claude  Kildare  stood  impassive,  as  one  await 
ing  a  matter  of  no  great  concern.  Then  hearing 
the  Don's  choice,  he  carelessly  flicked  a  stray 
caterpillar  from  his  jerkin-sleeve,  and  said,  — 

"  Aye,  it  shall  be  so.  And,  mark  thee,  it  shall 
be  to-night  at  midnight,  our  path  unlighted, 
beneath  a  black  and  moonless  heaven." 


CHAPTER  III 


D'ORSAY'S  LEFT  FOOT 


it  hath  befallen  that  to  me  and  none 
other  is  entrusted  the  record  of  certain  momen 
tous  deeds,  since  Fate  hath  writ  that  the  chron 
icling  thereof  shall  be  vested  but  in  my  unworthy 
self,  then,  as  Thackeray  hath  it,  the  time  is  ripe, 
and  with  an  eye  single  to  one  grim  but  grave 
intent  will  I  plunge  bravely  and  valiantly  into 
the  recital  thereof,  with  no  merry  wanderings 
into  flowery  by-paths  nor  dallyings  in  pleasant 
gardens. 

Mine  is  it  not  to  detail  the  gory  adventures  of 
the  Crusaders  in  their  search  for  the  Golden 
Fleece.  Ever  must  I  be  silent  regarding  the 
weary,  vain  endeavors  of  King  John  to  gain  the 
governorship  of  Paris.  And  though  my  pen 
struggleth  in  my  fingers  to  write  of  the  daring 
deeds  of  Prince  Griffon  in  his  royal  galleys,  yet 
I  must  needs  quell  these  leaping  desires,  and  egg 
on  my  fitful  Muse  to  the  tale  that  doth  more 
intimately  concern  us.  As  I  emerged,  then,  from 
[  46  ]  the 


The  Crusaders  in  their  search  for  the  Golden  Fleece 


ABENIKI  CALDWELL 


the  smoke-reeking  atmosphere  of  the  grill-room 
of  the  Golden  Grasshopper,  I  found  myself 
beneath  the  starlit  vault  of  a  black  and  murky 
sky.  The  rain  fell  in  torrents,  but  all  unheeding 
the  dampness  1  stalked  on,  with  monstrous 
thoughts  crowding  my  ponderous  brain. 

"If  it  be,"  I  reasoned  all  subtly  to  myself, 
"  then  by  the  rood,  't  is  not  so  worse.  And  yet 
were  it  not  so,  —  ha !  the  thought  maddeneth 
me  !  That  were  a  lucky  chance,  and  by  the  belt 
of  St.  Christopher  'twould  save  the  day  and 
everrnpre  the  black  and  guilty  truth  should 
shrivel  and  burn  secretly  in  the  depths  of 
my  oppressed  soul.  Ha !  this  martyr-like  ven 
geance  shall  yet  be  mine  ;  and  from  the  ac 
cursed  cell,  shrouded  in  deep  and  inscrutable 
mystery,  the  ominous  arrogance  of  a  noble  slave 
shall  - 

I  paused,  perforce,  for  as  my  martial  footsteps 
fell  resounding  on  the  soft  green  turf,  I  checked 
my  right  foot  raised  rigid  in  the  air,  lest  it  tram 
ple  something  that  lay  before  me. 

[     48     ]  With 


D'ORSAY'S  LEFT  FOOT 


With  mingled  feelings  of  uncertainty  and  in 
decision  I  gazed  down  at  the  tiny  face  whose 
wide-open  eyes  stared  up  into  mine  own. 

"  Give  thee  good -day,  mannikin,"  said  I,  for  I 
was  ever  merry  and  jocose  of  speech,  "  and  verily 
thou  hast  but  narrowly  escaped  my  grinding 
heel  on  that  fair  face  of  thine.  Another  half- 
pace,  forsooth,  and  I  had  spoiled  for  aye  thy 
rosy  cheeks  and  the  grinning  red  mouth  of 
thee.  Art  glad,  small  one,  art  glad  that  thy 
beauty  wast  spared  the  havoc  of  my  fitful 
footfall?" 

Still  clacking  thus,  in  flippant  whimsey,  I 
stooped  and  raised  the  inanimate  little  form  and 
dandled  it  high  in  the  air. 

"  Gadzooks  ! "  quoth  I,  "  but  thou  'rt  a  gay 
one!  Thy  striped  doublet  and  lace  collarkin 
proclaim  thee  of  the  royal  household.  Wouldst 
thou  couldst  speak,  and  with  thine  own  dumb 
lips  inform  me  who  leftest  thee  thus  by  night  in 
the  forest  path." 

I  shook  the  Bauble  until  all  its  bells  tinkled, 
[  4  ]  [     49     ]  but 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


but  its  lips  remained  silent  in  a  painted  waxen 
grin. 

"  Tolderolloll  and  hey,  troly-loly!"  sang  out 
a  blithesome  voice  and  gay,  while  with  two 
bounding  springs  a  motley  figure  dashed  into 
view. 

"  Who  art  thou,  man,  and  how  yclept  ?  "  quoth 
I,  looking  with  mirthter  on  his  zany  costume 
and  his  cap  and  bells. 

"  Heyday,  I  be  Jack  Pudding,  the  court-fool, 
and  I  pray  you,  fair  sir,  of  your  plenteous  good 
ness,  return  back  unto  me  my  Bauble,  my  pretty 
popsey-puppet . " 

"  Is 't  thine  ?  "  cried  I.  "  Take  it  then,  Scar 
amouch,  and  bless  the  shining  Fate  that  betimes 
averted  from  thy  treasure  the  iron  heel  of  Claude 
Kildare." 

"  Aye,  aye,  sweet  chuck,  ever  heretofore  shall 
Jack  Pudding  be  thy  sworn  friend  and  humble 
minion.  And  may'st  thou  never  sit  down  to 
flagon  or  pasty  where  I  be  not  a  welcome 
guest." 

[     50     ]  "'Tis 


"  « Heyday,  1  be  Jack  Pudding ' 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


"Tis  well,  'tis  well,"  quoth  I,  awearied  by 
his  chatter.  "  And  now,  an  thou  lovest  me, 
make  thou  thyself  scarce,  for  I  have  weighty 
matters  on  my  mind  and  I  crave  but  a  lonely 
solitude." 

"  Now  may  the  Devil  brand  me  for  a  feather- 
pated  fool ! "  exclaimed  my  companion ;  "  what 
hath  so  beaddled  my  wits  that  I  have  erstwhile 
forgotten  the  message  entrusted  me  for  thee  ? 
Heigh-ho !  a  merry  heart  maketh  an  empty 
brain,  and  much  laughter  maketh  the  speech  of 
little  worth." 

"  How  now,  Varlet,"  I  cried  in  rage,  "  hast  a 
message  for  me  yet  untold  ?  Ha !  what  fear 
ful  penance  shalt  suffice  to  avenge  thy  black 
misdeed?  The  taking  of  thy  worthless  life 
were  all  too  small.  But  tell  it  me,  tell  me  thy 
tale  with  all  haste,  and  scarce  shall  the  words 
have  left  thy  lips  ere  thou  shalt  find  thyself 
carrion  for  the  roaring  lion  and  the  ranging 
bear.  'Sdeath  !  foul  knave,  shoot  off  thy  miser 
able  mouth ! " 

[     52     ]  "Tira-lira, 


D'ORSAY'S   LEFT   FOOT 


"  Tira-lira,  my  most  amiable  friend,  twiddle 
thy  twaddle  to  fainter- hearted  ears  than  mine. 
I  fear  not  thy  threats  and  would  as  lief  trip 
away  and  leave  thee  yelping  here.  But  hey- 
ding-a-day,  it  pleaseth  my  good-humor  to  hu 
mor  thee,  so  will  I  tell  thee  the  message. 
And  'tis  but  short,  three  brief  words  compre- 
hendeth  it:  thus,  —  *I  await  thee.'  Such,  my 
lord,  is  the  speech  I  was  bidden  to  retail  to 
thee." 

At  the  Jester's  words,  my  mind,  ever  fleet  of 
flight,  flew  back  to  Don  Giovanni  Ziffkoffsky 
and  his  challenge. 

"  Tell  the  Sneaking  Hound,"  I  exclaimed  an 
grily,  "  that  the  message  is  received  and  that  the 
awaiting  may  continue  until  midnight,  when  on 
the  stroke  o'  the  hour  I  will  face  my  unworthy 
foe." 

The  court-fool  bowed  low. 

"  Now  bless  my  bells,"  he  cried,  "  an  that  be 

not  a  pretty  message  to  send  to  a  fair  lady.     But 

I   will  repeat  it  verbatim   et  infinitum  to  the 

[     53     ]  beauteous 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


beauteous  Berenice,  Queen  of  Love,  Laughter 
and  Song!" 

"  Berenice ! "  I  cried,  clutching  at  the  fool's 
striped  doublet.  But  he  danced  off,  leaving  a 
yard  of  tinsel  fringe  in  my  hand,  and  ere  I  could 
speak  again  his  voice  sounded  from  full  two 
blocks  away. 

I  staggered  and  reeled.  The  sun  turned 
black  before  my  staring  eyes,  and  with  a  pierc 
ing  groan  of  grief,  dolor,  anguish,  and  despair, 
I  sat  me  down  upon  a  fallen  yew  tree  and  buried 
my  face  in  my  feet. 

Berenice  1  My  love,  my  star !  Princess  of 
the  world,  enshrined  forever  in  my  faithful  loyal 
heart !  Heaven  help  me,  I  had  forgotten  all 
about  her.  Ah,  that  sweet  message,  "  I  await 
thee." 

What  fonder  words  could  an  ardent  lover 
hope  for  ?  What  sweeter  message  could  come 
to  a  devoted,  adoring  swain  ? 

She  awaited  me,  did  she  ?  the  dear  girl.     Well, 

she  should  await  no  longer.     Love  should  lend 

[     54     ]          mercury- wings 


D'ORSAY'S   LEFT   FOOT 


mercury-wings  to  my  Cuban  heels ;  Impatience 
should  urge  on  my  flying  footsteps,  and  soon, 
ah  soon,  I  should  be  with  my  Beloved,  my 
bonny  Berenice. 

Giving  way  to  my  mad  haste,  I  paused  but 
to  read  the  evening  paper  and  smoke  one  or 
two  cigars,  then  with  heart  aglow  I  sallied  forth 
to  keep  my  tryst. 

As  I  neared  the  weeping- willow  tree,  'neath 
which  I  had  promised  a  rendezvous  with  Bere 
nice,  my  heart  ceased  to  be  couchant  and  became 
rampant. 

With  mad  haste  I  onward  sped,  and  just  as 
the  cuckoo  in  the  beech  tree  chirped  forth  his 
nine  raucous  notes,  I  clasped  my  Beloved  gently 
but  firmly  to  my  armored  breast. 

As  we  stood  there,  alone  in  our  new-found 
happiness,  the  world  out-blotted,  the  universe 
forgot,  —  as  I  felt,  e'en  through  my  steel  corselet 
and  my  coat  of  mail,  the  thrilling  throbbing  of 
my  darling's  heart,  all  superfluous  complications 
of  thought  and  reason  seemed  to  be  swept  away, 
[  55  ]  and, 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


and,  soul  to  soul,  we  knew  only  the  simple,  ele 
mental  truth,  "  I  love  you."  And  so  in  the 
plain,  inornate  speech  for  which  I  was  justly 
famed  I  murmured : 

"  From  the  viewpoint  of  those  controversialists, 
who  it  is  thought  by  certain  of  mankind  in  their 
crass  ignorance  are  quite  reliable  on  matters  of 
Love  and  Loving,  but  whom  we  constantly  find 
making  gratuitous  allusions  of  an  uncomplimen 
tary  nature  to  Love-at-first-sight,  which,  more 
than  all  others,  deserves  our  leniency,  and  in 
most  cases  is  equally  as  enduring  as  Love  gradu 
ally  acquired  and  slowly  accelerated,  though  it 
be  commonly  signalized  by  the  infallible  ear 
marks  of  the  clandestine  interview  and  the  tryst 
sub  rosa,  our  love  is  even  yet  already  doomed, 
damned,  and  condemned." 

"  Noble  Knight,"  said  the  fair  Berenice,  wiping 
a  pearly  tear-drop  from  her  blooming  cheek, 
"  thou  say'st  well,  —  but  pause  ere  thou  declarest 
thy  love,  for  it  is  not  meet  that  I  shouldst  list  to 
thy  tender  of  thy  tender  affection.  Hearken  to 
[  56  ]  the 


"  /  clasped  my  Beloved  gently  but /Irmly 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


the  sad  secret  of  my  heaving,  grieving  heart, 
then  go  thou  into  debate  with  thyself  and  judge 
if  thou  considerest  a  proposal  apropos  ?  " 

Again  the  fierce  fangs  of  doubt,  jealousy,  dis 
trust,  mistrust,  and  apprehension  fastened  them 
selves  in  the  throat  of  my  heart,  and  I  cried  out 
with  a  rising  choler  : 

"  Now  the  malediction  of  St.  Winkelbrand 
rest  on  that  infernal  bridegroom  of  thine ! 
Though  thou  wert  his  bride  but  for  an  hour, 
though  thou  sawedst  him  not  even  during  that 
brief  space  by  reason  of  his  riding  his  snorting 
steed  behind  thy  coach,  yet  even  so,  thou  bearest 
his  accursed  name,  —  thou  art  a  Ziff koffsky  of 
the  Ziffkoffskieri." 

"  Aye,"  said  Milady,  "  't  is  true,  't  is  too  truly 
true."  And  then,  with  a  meek  humility  of  de 
meanor,  with  an  abashed,  ashamed  air,  with 
downcast  eyes  and  bated  breath,  Lady  Berenice 
sank  on  bended  knee,  and  dropping  her  sable 
veil  over  her  fair,  fat  face,  she  murmured  low, 
"  Permit  me  to  die  ! " 

[     58     ]  "Nay, 


D'ORSAY'S   LEFT   FOOT 


"  Nay,  by  the  Horn  of  the  Galloping  Gorgon, 
that  fate  shall  not  yet  be  thine !  But  tell  me, 
ere  I  divulge  my  secret  thought,  why  didst  thou 
wed  with  the  dastardly  Don  ? " 

The  Lady  Berenice  rose  with  a  Delsartean 
grace,  and  throwing  aside  her  voluminous  veil, 
stood,  a  barefaced  jade,  writh  a  mystic  smile  in 
her  hoodoo  eyes. 

"  An  I  tell  thee  why,  wilt  promise  to  ask  no 
other  question?" 

"  Aye,"  quoth  I,  eagerly. 

"Then,"  said  the  lady,  "know  the  truth. 
'Twas  but  in  payment  of  a  bet." 

Though  consumed  with  a  raging  desirousness 
to  know  the  details  of  so  strange  a  wager,  I 
curbed  my  curiosity  and  murmured  idly,  "I 
thought  as  much.  I  suspected  it  from  the  first. 
And  now,  Berenice  of  the  Veiled  Visage,  wilt  be 
mine  own  an  that  I  end  the  life  of  thy  churl  of 
a  husband  ? " 

"  Canst  do  it  ? "  queried  she,  and  her  eyes 
gleamed  with  a  dark  light. 

[     59     ]  "Sapristi!" 


ABENIK1   CALDWELL 


"  Sapristi ! "  I  exclaimed,  "  i'  faith  I  can  do  it, 
and  that  with  deftness  and  dexterity  born  of  my 
love  for  thee.  See  ? "  and  I  bent  my  long,  lithe, 
Damascus  blade  round  until  its  point  touched 
its  hilt,  aye,  and  passed  beyond  it  in  a  second 
circle.  "  This  sharp,  shining  sword  shall  pierce 
his  shabby,  scrubby,  tuppenny-ha'penny  heart, 
and  the  Valiant  Victor  shall  return  smiling,  to 
receive  his  rich  and  rare  reward." 

"  So  be  it,"  quoth  the  gentle  Berenice, 
"  plunge  thou  thy  bloody  blade  again  and  again 
into  his  very  vitals,  and  then  return  in  triumph 
to  thy  waiting  sweetheart,  and  learn  thy  fate." 

Her  words  fired  me,  but  I  returned,  saying : 

"  Only  one  more  request,  fair  flame  of  mine ; 
give  thou  to  me  a  token,  that  I  may  bind  it 
upon  my  arm,  and,  made  immortal  by  its 
blessed  presence,  may  fare  forth  to  the  foe  with 
out  fear  and  without  approach." 

The  Lady  Berenice  looked  at  the  various  parts 
of  her  feminine  paraphernalia  as  who  should 
say,  "  Which  shall  it  be  ? " 

[     60     ]  She 


"  The  Lady  Berenice  rose  with  a  Delsartean  grace 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


She  touched  uncertainly  her  silken  baldric, 
fingered  her  belaced  crimson  chasuble,  and  all 
but  tore  the  morse  from  her  cope. 

"  Nay,"  said  she,  at  the  last,  "  not  these,  not 
these ;  to  thee,  my  fair,  my  frumptious  Knight, 
to  thee,  Pride  of  my  Present,  and  Felicity  of  my 
Future,  to  thee  do  I  grant  a  guerdon  worthy  of 
thy  preposterous  prowess.  I  bestow  on  thee," 
and  she  suited  the  action  to  the  word,  "my 
hoop-skirt,  and  Honi  soit  qui  mal  y  pense,  which 
is  to  say,  Honesty  is  the  best  policy." 

The  Lady  Berenice  stood,  like  the  Bartholdi 
Liberty 9  in  her  calm,  uncrinolined  grandeur,  and 
outheld  to  me  in  her  puny  patrician  hand  the 
afore-mentioned  token.  A  gracious  light  gleamed 
from  her  holy  eyes,  and  half  enamoured,  half 
enawed  of  her  splendid,  exalted  nobility,  I  bowed 
low  at  her  feet,  and  kissed  her  velveteen  skirt- 
binding. 

"I  accept  the  trust,"  I   breathed,  though   I 

could  scarce  speak  for  the   awesome    emotions 

which  tumulted  in  my  breast,  "  and  I  will  return 

[     62     ]  the 


"  £A<?  touched  uncertainly  her  silken  baldric ' 


ABEN1KI   CALDWELL 


the  token  to  thee,  unscathed  and  unmarred  by 
the  fortunes  of  fierce  war  through  which  it  must 
needs  pass.  Lady,  I  crave  thy  blessing." 

Binding  the  tender  token  about  mine  arm,  I 
knelt  gracefully  before  the  fair  maiden,  and  in 
the  deepening  dusk  of  that  miasmic  evening,  she 
whispered  paradoxical  words  of  dire  and  blissful 
import  above  my  bent  and  deferential  head. 


CHAPTER  IV 


THE  POT   OF    PAINTED   BUTTER 


though  a  brave  and  lusty  knight 
as  might  ever  be,  I  am  withal  a  monstrous 
plain-mannered  man,  and  of  vastly  simple 
habit. 

Modern  inventions  I  hold  to  be  the  contriv 
ances  of  the  devil,  and  I  care  not  a  doit  for 
the  bumptious  braggart  who  dubs  them  indis 
pensable  labor-savers.  Witness  this  case  : 

Valiant  of  tread  and  light  of  heart,  I  strode, 
strong-legged  and  fleet,  across  the  Scottish  moor. 
The  night  was  of  a  dark,  dank  duskiness  that 
boded  a  fulfilment  of  the  prophecy  in  my  even 
ing  paper  of  "  Cloudy  :  with  showers."  This 
reassured  my  faith  in  those  weather  prognostica 
tions,  which  erstwhiles  had  been  staggered  by 
continuous  unfulfilments. 

For  miles  around  no  tree  was  in  sight  and  I 
saw  only  the  wide  stretch  of  the  heather,  though 
its  ruddy  bloom  was  well-nigh  covered  by  the 
fallen  autumn  leaves. 

[   5   ]  [     65     ]  And 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


And  dotted  here  and  there,  at  convenient  in 
tervals,  were  the  bluebells  of  Scotland. 

Notwithstanding  my  rooted  prejudice,  I  paused 
at  one  of  them,  and  entering,  said :  "  Four,  O, 
Double-two,  B,  Grasshopper,"  and  after  a  pre 
liminary  and  tumultuous  delay  of  not  over  an 
hour  I  put  the  receiver  to  mine  ear. 

"  Hola !  Art  thou  the  Lady  Berenice  of 
Bois-Bracy  ? " 

"  Hola  1  Yea,  and  who  art  thou  ? " 

"  I  am  Claude  Kildare." 

"Lord  Bilmaire?  Marry,  thou'rt  welcome! 
What  wouldst  with  me  ?  " 

"  Nay,  thou  hast  the  name  wrong.  I  say  't  is 
Claude  Kildare ! " 

"  Hard  to  bear  ?  Ah,  my  lord,  what  troublest 
thee  ?  I  would  I  could  comfort  thee  ;  wilt  call 
to-night  ? " 

"  Now,  beshrew  thee  for  a  fickle  jade  !     I  who 

speak  to  thee  am,  —  Hola !  Hola !  Central,  cut 

me  not   off,    I   beseech.      Nay,    I   be  not  yet 

through  !     Another  is  even  now   on  the  wire. 

[     66  "  ]  Is 


"  *  Central,  cut  me  not  off,  I  beseech ' 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


Is    this   the nay !    I    be  not  Hakim  the 

Swineherd  1  Thousand  thunders  of  Olympus ! 
Hola !  Hola !  Central,  am  I  to  have  a  clear 
wire,  or  Gadsbodikins,  my  blade  shall  run  thee 
through  ere  break  o'  day.  —  See  then  that  thou 
dost,  and  now  give  me  again  Four,  —  Hola  ? 
Yea,  't  is  I,  Lady  Berenice,  't  is  Claude  Kildare  — 
Body  o'  me !  Canst  thou  not  yet  understand  ? 
Then  list !  A,  B,  C,  —  C  —  hast  that  ?  " 

"  Yea." 

"  Hola !  list  yet  again  !  A,  B,  C,  D,  E,  F,  G, 
H,  I,  J,  K,  L  —  L  —  art  on  ?  " 

«  Yea." 

«  Now  for 't !  A  —  A,  'tis  A!    Hast  it?" 

"Yea!  Marry  beshrew  me,  art  Claude  Kil 
dare?" 

"  Aye,  Sweet  One  !  Fairest  Flower  of  a  sum 
mer  night !  And  lovest  thou  me  ?  -  -  What  ?  — 
Louder !  Hola !  Hola !  Central !  Give  me 
Four,  O,  Double-two,  B,  Grasshopper." 

"  Subscriber  busy  —  doth  not  reply.  Sub 
scriber  busy  —  doth  not  reply." 

[     68     ]  In 


Mounting  again  my  noble  steed,  I  clapped  spurs  to  his  side 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


In  deep  disgust  I  hung  the  receiver  on  its 
peg,  and  with  a  swashing  stride  plunged  out 
into  the  night. 

Mounting  again  my  noble  steed,  I  clapped 
spurs  to  his  sides,  and  rode  far  and  fast  to  meet 
my  dastard  foe.  As  I  rode,  I  heard  the  tinkle 
of  silver  bells,  and  a  merry  voice  cried  : 

"  Hey  ding-a-ding !     Tarry  yet  for  me  ! " 

I  drew  rein  and  in  a  trice  Jack  Pudding  ap 
peared,  and  with  a  bound  sprang  to  my  horse 
behind  me. 

"  On,  on,"  he  cried,  "  no  time  to  lose.  The 
Don  hath  already  gone  by  at  a  tearing  pace. 
I'll  to  the  fray  with  thee,  for  I  dearly  love  a 
brave  fight,  and  thou  need'st  a  merry-maker  to 
chirk  up  thy  spirit.  Heigh-ho  ! " 

"  Peace,  Sirrah ! "  I  cried,  for-  I  was  ill-dis 
posed  to  listen  to  the  chatter  of  the  feather-pated 
fool,  having  on  my  mind  much  momentous 
concern. 

On  we  flew,  my  horse's  hoofs  striking  sparks 

from  the  wet  leaves  with  which  the  highroad 

[     70     ]  was 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


was  strewn,  on,  and  at  bare  five  minutes  before 
the  midnight  hour  pealed  from  the  belfry  of  St. 
Paul's  we  reached  the  Boulevard  des  Males- 
herbes. 

"  Prithee,  Jack,"  I  whispered,  "  hold  thou  the 
steed  ;  methinks  I  Ve  time  to  pause  here  at  the 
Outside  Inn,  and  snatch  a  beaker  of  sack." 

"Aye,  do,"  quoth  the  good  fellow,  and  in  a 
trice  I  was  in  the  tap-room. 

I  drained  a  flagon,  threw  a  zechin  piece  to 
mine  host,  and  was  back  on  my  snorting  steed 
ere  my  trusty  henchman  had  yet  finished  his 
speech.  (But  i'  faith  I  was  ever  of  honest  in 
tent,  and  I  must  admit  to  thee,  that  Jack  Pud 
ding  was  a  fearful  stutterer.) 

On  we  went,  through  the  wide  street,  and 
ever  and  anon  a  straggling  irregular  line  of 
lamp-posts  jostled  and  bumped  each  other  as 
they  marched  to  meet  me. 

But  this  stag  at  eve  had  drunk  his  fill,  and  I 
well  knew  that  on  such  occasions  the  lamp-posts 
were  all  unblameworthy. 

[     72     ]  As 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 

As  the  thunderous  strokes  of  Big  Ben's  ham 
mer  pounded  twelve,  I  drew  rein  at  Blue  Devil 
Falls,  and  dismounted.  Don  Giovanni  Ziff koff- 
sky  arrived  in  two  seconds,  with  two  seconds. 

"  Well  met,  villain,"  I  cried,  as  I  whipped  out 
my  blade,  "  art  ready  for  the  fray  ?  As  for  me, 
on  foot  or  horseback,  on  the  Eiffel  Tower  or  the 
crater  of  Mt.  Vesuvius,  with  spear,  axe,  sword, 
lance,  tomahawk,  or  bullet,  I  am  alike  ready  to 
encounter  thee." 

Don  Giovanni  turned  pale,  but  he  clinched 
his  shaking,  trembling  fingers,  as  he  said  : 

"  Why  so  choleric  ?  Art  excited  at  the  out 
look  ?  Behold  me,  I  am  as  cool  as  an  iced 
cucumber ! " 

"  Cool  ? "  cried  I,  in  derision,  "  aye,  cool ! 
Thou  'rt  cold,  —  with  fear  and  apprehension ! 
And  well  may'st  thou  be,  for  ne'er  again  shaltst 
thou  hear  the  crash  o'  the  breaking  day,  and  the 
fair  moon  above  us  looks  down  for  the  last  and 
final  time  on  thine  upright  form." 

"  Pish  !  Tush ! "  cried  the  Don ;  but  he 
[  74  ]  tr-r-r-embled 


THE   POT   OF  PAINTED   BUTTER 

tr-r-r-embled  as   he   spake,  and  weary  of  this 
worthless  war  of  words,  I  cried  : 

"  To  the  battle-ground  !     En  avant !  " 

The  tight-rope  had  already  been  stretched 
across  the  rushing,  roaring  cataract,  and  simple 
Jack  Pudding  wept  as  he  saw  the  fearful  chasm 
abyssing  itself  beneath  the  fine,  frail  strand. 
And  sooth  it  was  a  fearsome  sight !  A  terrific 
thunder-storm  had  set  in,  and  inky  masses  of 
black,  pall-like  clouds  jostled  and  bumped  each 
other  in  the  heavens  with  thunderous  noises  as 
of  loud  artillery.  Crashes  and  flashes  vied  with 
each  other  for  frequency,  and  the  rain  came 
down  in  hemstitched  sheets. 

Ere  the  duel  began,  the  Don  and  myself  were 
inspected,  lest,  forsooth,  concealed  weapons  be 
found  upon  us. 

"  What  hast  thou  bound  about  thy  right 
arm?"  the  color-sergeant  said. 

"  Sirrah,"  quoth  I,  "  that  concerneth  thee  not. 
Have  a  care,  or  thy  curiosity  will  meet  its  meet 
reward." 

[     75     ]  So 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


So  saying,  I  adjusted  the  dainty  hoop-skirt  of 
the  fair  Lady  Berenice,  and  gazed  down  at  it 
with  a  proud  devotion. 

"  The  Fiend  take  thine  impudence,"  the  color- 
sergeant  said.  "  Answer,  by  the  card  !  Is  't  a 
coat  of  arms?" 

"  Nay,  Varlet ! "  I  cried,  and  I  had  much  ado 
to  restrain  my  angry  sword,  "  't  is  a  petticoat  of 
arms,  and  't  is  not  for  thee  to  learn  further  con 
cerning  matters  beyond  thy  ken." 

A  loud  shout  from  the  spectators,  and  a  wav 
ing  of  bandannas  greeted  this  speech,  and  I  felt 
that  the  sympathies  of  the  packed  galleries  were 
all  mine  own. 

"  Swords  ? "  said  a  lackey  politely,  and  offered 
a  short  and  a  long  blade  for  my  choosing.  They 
were  noble  weapons,  and  I  yearned  to  take  both 
that  I  might  make  the  long  and  the  short  of  one 
villain  in  double-quick  time ;  but  this  was  not 
allowed.  However,  I  thought,  of  two  medisevals 
the  less  is  always  to  be  chosen,  and  I  grasped 
the  smaller  sword. 

[     76    ]  The 


THE   POT   OF  PAINTED   BUTTER 

The  boom  of  a  cannon  recalled  to  my  mind 
that 't  was  time  the  game  was  called. 

"  En  garde  !  "  I  cried,  lightly  running  out  to 
the  middle  of  the  tight-rope ;  and,  pausing  just 
above  the  roughest,  ruggedest,  rockiest  of  the 
raging  rapids,  I  turned  and  faced  toward  mine 
enemy. 

Don  Giovanni  Ziffkoffsky  came  to  meet  me, 
but  slowly,  for  he  was  of  monstrous  girth  and  vast 
amplitude,  and  the  rope  creaked  with  his  weight. 
Then  we  had  at  it !  Zounds,  what  a  fight  it 
was !  Tierce !  Quatre  f  The  Don  lunged  and 
I  parried.  He  ran  me  through  and  I  feinted ; 
he  foiled  my  thrust,  I  thrust  aside  his  foil.  The 
strokes  of  steel  rang  out  between  the  crashing 
thunderbolts,  and  the  blade-struck  sparks  rivalled 
in  fiercity  the  lightning's  livid  glare. 

I  had  no  mean  antagonist.  The  fury  of  his 
onslaught  would  have  vanquished  any  mere 
champion. 

Don  Giovanni  was  a  skilled  swordsman.     One 

after  another,  he  had  killed  the  great  duellists 

[     77     ]  of 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


of  the  world.  On  his  breast  hung  a  hundred 
gold  medals,  first  prizes  from  numberless  exposi 
tions  ;  and  these,  between  which  my  sinuous 
blade  must  needs  thrust  and  curve  most  dexter 
ously,  rendered  more  limited  my  striking  space, 
though  there  was  still  much  left.  Aye,  Don 
Giovanni  Ziffkoffsky  was  a  fierce  assailant,  a 
pre-eminent  sabreur,  an  unparagoned  tactician, 
an  unparalleled  techniquist,  an  inimitable,  un 
approachable,  incomparable  combatant,  but  — 
I  was  his  superior !  With  a  marvellous  clever 
backward  side-thrust,  a  stroke  of  my  own  inven 
tion,  and  one  that  has  ever  stood  me  well,  I  struck 
his  blade  from  his  hand  and  hurled  it  a  mile 
away  into  the  forest. 

"  On  guard ! "  he  cried  (he  did  n't  know 
French),  and  to  my  shocked  surprise  he  jerked 
from  his  jerkin  a  pistol,  which  he  aimed  full  at 
my  face. 

I  secretly  gave  myself  up  for  lost,  and  my 
heart  flew,  even  as  a  swift  shuttle  between  my 
throat  and  my  boots. 

[     78     ]  But 


He  jerked  from  his  jerkin  a  pistol,  which  he  aimed  full  at  my  face  " 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


But  naught  of  this  did  I  reveal  to  the  gaping 
curious  throng  of  onlookers.  With  a  fine  show 
of  carelessness,  I  shrugged  my  shoulders,  and  as 
a  thunderbolt  like  the  crack  o'  doom  split  our 
ears,  I  said  nonchalantly,  "  I  hope  't  will  not  sour 
the  milk  in  my  pantry,  on  which  I  sup  to-night." 
But,  though  apparently  thoughtless,  I  earnestly 
scanned  about  me  for  help. 

And  not  in  vain,  for  my  staunch  friend  and 
true  forsook  me  not. 

Even  as  I  despaired  came  whizzing  toward 
me  a  revolver,  loaded  and  cocked,  flung  by  the 
firm  hand  of  my  firm  friend,  good  Jack  Pudding. 

I  caught  the  weapon,  and  'faith  'twas  none 
too  soon,  for  the  Don  had  fired  and  his  bullet 
had  already  travelled  half  the  short  distance  be 
tween  his  smoking  pistol  and  my  brain.  Now 
though  I  be  an  adept  at  sword-play,  yet  have  I 
even  more  marvellous  skill  as  a  marksman,  and 
aiming  with  careful  eye,  for  it  was  a  matter  of 
nice  adjustment,  and  required,  moreover,  careful 
calculation  of  meteorological  conditions  as  well 
[  80  ]  as 


THE   POT   OF   PAINTED   BUTTER 

as  an  astrological  knowledge  of  the  conjunction 
of  the  planets,  I  fired  at  the  advancing  bullet. 


My  firm  friend,  good 
Jack  Pudding ' 


As  I  had  intended,  the   conical  bullets  im 
pinged,  but  by  such  a  hair's-breadth  that  their 
[  6  ]  [     81     ]  respective 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


respective  courses  were  only  sufficiently  de 
flected  to  make  them  whiz  harmlessly  by  our 
left  ears  and  sink  deep  in  the  mud-banks  on 
either  side  of  the  river. 

"Thou'rt  the  Fiend's  Own!"  exclaimed  the 
Don,  "a  murrain  take  thee  for  a  Blue  Devil 
thyself!  Have  at  thee,  then,  with  bow  and 
arrow !  Art  archer  as  well  ?  "  The  Don  smirked 
triumphantly,  little  dreaming  of  my  mastery  of 
the  feathered  shaft,  but  I  only  said  : 

"  My  archery  is  but  indifferent ;  however,  sith 
it  please  thee,  let 's  to  it." 

My  heart  misgave  me  a  bit,  for  though  I  had 
all  confidence  in  my  skill,  yet  had  I  a  felon  on 
my  thumb  which  greatly  impeded  my  drawing 
of  the  bow-string.  And  so  my  shaft  flew  awry, 
and  long,  long  afterward  in  an  oak  I  found  that 
arrow,  still  unbroke. 

My  opponent  had  aimed  surely  and  well,  and 

as  his  arrow  came  flying  toward  me  my  calm 

was  a  bit  disturbed.    In  dumb  despair  I  watched 

it  coming,  but  after  it  had  traversed  about  half 

[     82     ]  the 


THE  POT  OF  PAINTED   BUTTER 

the  distance  between  us  I  noticed  it  was  speedily 
swerving  a  trifle  to  one  side.  I  was  saved,  and 
that  by  a  marvellous  strange  happening ! 

I  chanced  to  have  an  apple  in  my  pocket,  and, 
as  all  the  world  has  known  since  the  days  of 
William  Tell,  it  is  a  scientific  fact  that  an  apple 
draws  an  arrow  as  surely  as  the  magnet  attracts 
iron. 

Inevitably,  irrevocably,  and  unavoidably  the 
Don's  arrow  was  drawn  to  my  pocket  and  buried 
itself  in  my  life-saving  apple !  With  sublime 
unconcern  I  took  the  fruit  from  my  pocket,  dis 
lodged  the  arrow,  and  cast  it  into  the  falls,  and 
tossed  the  apple  into  the  spectating  crowd,  who 
fought  for  it  as  a  souvenir. 

"  Thou  lown !  thou  runnion ! "  cried  my  adver 
sary,  purpling  with  rage  and  mortification,  and 
dancing  about  until  the  tight-rope  slackened. 
"  Come  on,  with  fisticuffs  will  I  conquer  thee ! 
Hand  to  hand  will  I  engage  in  this  tug-of-war, 
and  by  the  bloody  blade  of  Bellona,  the  heavy 
weight  shall  yet  ride  cock-a-whoop  over  his 
[  83  ]  routed, 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


routed,  flouted  foe  !  Aye,  Sirrah,  pride  must 
have  a  fall,  and  soon  shalt  thou  bite  the  dust  in 
the  plashing  fall  below." 

Now,  though  small,  I  was  a  skilled  boxer,  and 
a  little  boxer  is  a  dangerous  thing.  But  of  a 
sudden  I  realized  that  my  strong  right  arm  was 
hampered  by  my  lady's  love-token.  By  some 
mischance  the  ribbon  that  bound  it  in  place  had 
loosened,  and  the  intractable,  well-nigh  unman 
ageable  hoops  were  rioting  madly  in  unexpected 
directions.  I  grasped,  I  clutched,  I  grabbed,  I 
twisted,  —  the  more  I  stowed  it  away  the  more 
there  seemed  to  be  of  it. 

Should  I  have  at  him,  regardless,  and  chance 
the  twisting,  squirming  thing  to  throw  us  both 
off  our  none  too  secure  balance  ?  Or  should  I 
cast  off  the  token  and  let  the  black  rapids  carry 
it  away  forever,  trusting  that  my  lovely  Berenice 
would  prefer  my  living  disloyalty  to  my  fatal 
fealty. 

But  I  dismissed  this  thought  as  one  unworthy 

a  lover  and  a  Kildare,  and  after  mature  reflection 

[     84     ]  I 


«  With  fisticuffs  will  I  conquer  thee  ! ' ' 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


I   hurriedly  decided   there  was  but  one  thing 
to  do. 

And  so,  as  my  pugilistic  antagonist  raised  his 
right  arm  to  fell  me  to  the  fall,  I  shot  a  glance 
at  him  which  pierced  his  heart. 

He  staggered,  swerved,  tottered,  stumbled, 
and  I  saw  his  huge  body  fall  over  the  side  of 
the  tight-rope. 

But,  to  my  incredible  surprise,  he  did  not  fall 
from  the  rope.  His  feet  remained  fastened  to 
the  straining  hemp,  and  a  brief  examination  soon 
revealed  the  cowardly  truth. 

Sticky  side  out,  he  had  covered  the  soles  of 
his  shoes  with  fly-paper  ! 


CHAPTER  V 


AN   EASTER  GREETING 


W ITH  lightness  skipped  I  off  the  tight-rope, 
albeit  I  forgot  not  to  make  pretence  at  stum 
bling,  as  the  time-honored  tradition  of  the  best 
tight-ropists  hath  it,  and  all  unwaiting  for  the 
plaudits  of  the  populace,  I  set  off  with  hot  speed 
to  my  Lady  Berenice. 

As  I  neared  the  feudal  castle  where  she  abode, 
I  gazed  with  admiration  at  the  great  pile  of 
sculptured  granite  which  rose  so  majestically 
from  its  moats  and  terraces. 

I  cantered  into  the  courtyard,  crying,  "  What, 
ho ! "  and  a  liveried  lackey  bounded  forward  to 
take  my  horse. 

Ushered  in,  betimes,  I  traversed  the  vaulted, 
tessellated  corridors,  and  reached  at  last  my 
lady's  presence  in  the  Turkish  tea-room. 

Though  feeling  pretty  bobbish  after  my  tri 
umphant  despatchment  of  the  dastardly  Don, 
i'  faith  I  felt  a  bit  phased  at  the  grandeur  and 
luxury  betokened  by  all  about  me. 

[     87     ]  My 


ABENIKI  CALDWELL 


My  heart  sank,  my  temperature  fell,  and  my 
jaw  dropped,  as  I  realized  the  fierce  obstacles 
that  sprang  at  me,  open-mouthed,  and  threat 
ened  to  swamp  me. 


"  The  feudal  castle  where  she  abode  " 

But  bravely  crushing  down  my  depressed 
spirits,  I  advanced  to  meet  my  adored  one. 

The  fair  Berenice,  fairer  than  ever,  in  white 

satin  and  pearls,  with  a  court-train  of  yellow 

velvet,  smiled  at  me  shyly  over  her   peacock- 

[     88     ]  feather 


AN   EASTER  GREETING 


feather  fan.  In  her  beautiful  hair  was  a  waxen 
blossom  of  the  Magnolia  grandiflora,  and  at  her 
breast  was  another  bunch  of  wax  flowers. 

"  Radiant  Rose  of  Loveliness,"  I  began,  for 
well  I  knew  that  a  straightforward  simplicity  of 
speech  is  ever  the  best  way  to  win  a  wayward, 
winsome  heart,  "  deign,  I  beseech  thee,  to  cast  a 
glance  on  thine  humble  slave,  who,  kneeling  low 
at  thy  feet,  craves  thy  kindly  favor.  Thy  mis 
creant  bridegroom  is  no  more.  At  my  bidding 
he  bade  farewell  to  earth,  and  mine  it  is  to  woo 
his  witching  widow.  Say  not  I  am  too  previous, 
say  not  this  is  so  sudden,  for  I,  thy  lover,  am  of 
an  impetuous  impatience,  and  't  is  my  intent  to 
seize  Time  by  the  lovelock." 

The  Lady  Berenice  parted  the  feathers  of  her 
fan  and  peeped  coyly  through  at  me,  saying 
"  Dost  love  me  ? "  in  such  dulcet  tones  that  I 
had  much  ado  to  refrain  from  crushing  her  to 
my  manly  bosom.  But  I  was  ever  dignified  of 
mien  in  my  love-making,  and,  too,  I  had  no  wish 
to  spoil  her  bunch  of  wax  flowers. 

[     89     ]  "Aye!" 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


"Aye!"  I  replied,  in  a  thrilling  whisper,  "I 
love  thee  with  a  love  unknown  to  the  most  noted 
lovers,  unheard  of  by  the  ballad-mongering  herd. 
Compared  to  my  adoring  passion,  Romeo's  was 
but  a  passing  fancy,  Abelard's  only  a  friendly 
interest,  and  Orpheus's  a  mere  casual  acquaint 
ance.  For  thee  would  I  die  a  thousand  deaths, 
and  welcome  each  as  the  parched  earth  wel- 
cometh  the  rain.  Tell  me,  Angel  of  my  Vision, 
has  the  torch  of  love  ignited  thy  tinder  heart  ? 
Dare  I  hope  that  thou  art  mine,  as  I  am 
thine?" 

For  answer  the  Lady  Berenice  stood  speech 
less,  but  with  an  unmistakable  love-light  shining 
forth  from  her  glorious  gray  orbs.  Then  1  heard 
her  sigh,  a  low,  tremulous,  happy  sigh,  like  the 
sneeze  of  a  wheezy  snail,  and  with  a  sudden 
fling  she  flung  herself  into  my  waiting  arms, 
and  exclaimed  in  accents  of  affection : 

"  My  own !  my  owner  !  my  ownest ! " 

Need  I  record  that  when  next  I  saw  the  wax- 
flowers  they  were  a  shapeless,  molten  mass  ? 

[     90     ]  After 


AN  EASTER   GREETING 


After  a  period  of  such  ecstasy  as  is  known  only 
to  the  heroes  and  heroines  of  the  six  best-selling 
books,  my  adored  one  said  softly  : 

"  Tell  me  now,  my  True-love,  of  thy  noble 
home,  of  thy  Halls  Baronial ;  thy  towering  cas 
tles,  with  their  cas-  j/ 
tellated  towers, 
where  the  rooks 
roost  in  the  pina- 
rets.  Relate  to  me 
of  thine  illustrious 
family,  thy  dowager 
lady-mother,  and  "  She  flung  herself 

into  my  waiting  arms  " 

thine  august  sisters. 

Anon  at  these  words  came  a  great  change  to 
the  visage  of  Claude  Kildare. 

To  his  bones  turned  he  white,  and  his  hair 
stood  up  oil  one  end.  His  flesh  crept,  his  blood 
ran  cold,  and,  struck  all  of  a  heap,  he  stood 
aghast  at  the  fearful  predicament  in  which  he 
found  himself.  But,  though  trembling  at  every 
pore,  he  screwed  his  courage  to  the  sticking- 
[  91  ]  point, 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


point,  marched  up  to  the  cannon's  mouth,  took 
the  bull  by  the  horns,  and  let  the  cat  out  of 
the  bag. 

"  Lady  Berenice,"  he  said,  and  his  voice  was 
as  limp  as  a  wet  blanket,  "  Lady  Berenice  of 
Bois-Bracy,  as  I  stand  in  thy  presence,  I  am  in 
the  Slough  of  Despond  and  the  Cave  of  De 
spair.  Alas,  alack-a-day,  and  woe  is  me  !  Would 
that  I  could  spare  thine  ears  the  recital  of  my 
guilty  secret,  but  Truth  is  mighty  and  would 
sooner  or  later  prevail." 

"  Ha  ! "  said  the  Lady  Berenice. 

"  Ha,  indeed  ! "  returned  her  lover.  "  And 
list  thou  now  while  I  my  tale  unfold.  Of  a 
truth,  fair  maid,  I  am  not  what  thou  thinkest. 
Ancestral  acres  are  not  mine  to  boast.  Patri 
monial  possessions  have  I  none,  but  matrimonial 
possessions  I  trust  will  make  good  the  lack. 
Thou  lovest  me,  and  therefore,  thine  is  mine. 
For  know,  my  Fair  One,  thy  lover  is  no  belted 
Earl  or  buckled  Baron,  but  a  humble,  lowly, 
ignoble,  plebeian  bricklayer." 

[     92     ]  A 


\ 


thou  now  while  I  my  tale  unfold 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


A  fleeting  flush  flamed  in  the  fair  face  of  the 
Lady  Berenice. 

"  Avaunt ! "  she  said,  "  avaunt ! "  After  an 
anxious  pause  of  mayhap  ten  minutes  she  said 
"  Avaunt !  "  again,  and  then  repeated  it. 

"  Aye ! "  hissed  Claude  Kildare,  bitterly.  "  My 
certes,  but  thou  art  the  uppish  Upstart  I  deemed 
thee.  Thy  knavish  race  is  ever  ill-disposed  toward 
an  honest,  humble  yeoman.  And  yet,  have  a 
care,  my  proud  and  haughty  Beauty,  the  day 
shall  yet  come  when  I  will  requite  thy  scorn 
with  scorn,  and  with  thine  own  contempt  will  I 
contemn  thee!  Aye,  by  my  Halibut!  sorely 
shalt  thou  rue  this  day!" 

The  Lady  Berenice  was  touched,  and  with  a 
gentle,  patrician  gesture  she  drew  a  silver  ruble 
from  the  silken  pouch  at  her  side,  and  bestowed 
it  upon  her  lover. 

"  Fair  guerdon  from  a  fair  hand,"  quoth  the 
recipient  of  this  bounty,  as  he  pocketed  the 
gold ;  "  and  it  shall  go  hard  with  me,  but  I  gain 
the  giver  as  I  have  the  gift." 

[     94     ]  With 


AN   EASTER  GREETING 


With  this  unutterable  threat  Claude  Kildare 
arose,  and  his  measured  tread  resounded  hol 
lowly  as  he  strode  around  the  four  sides  of  the 
great  apartment. 

"  Long  years  of  yore,"  he  said,  as  if  meditat 
ing  to  himself,  "  I  heard  of  thy  far-famed  beauty, 
and  I  vowed  to  win  thy  hand  if  by  fair  means 
or  foul.  To  this  end  I  assumed  the  name  and 
fame  of  Claude  Kildare.  But  now,  — now  that 
I  have  won  thee,  I  dare  not  hold  to  the  claim, 
for  I  have  no  proofs ;  I  cannot  lay  hold  of  the 
Kildare  acres,  I  know  not  where  they  are.  I 
may  not  show  thee  even  tintypes  of  the  por 
traits  of  my  Kildare  ancestors,  I  know  not  where 
to  look  for  them.  But  thou  crossed' st  my  path, 
thou  met'st  my  advances;  indeed,  thou  fairly 
threwest  thyself  at  my  head,  therefore,  I  now 
cast  myself  at  thy  feet." 

Suiting  the  word  to  the  action,  Claude  Kil- 
1  dare  with  a  double  somersault  landed  gracefully 
on  the  red  Brussels  roses  at  the  feet  of  Lady 
Berenice. 

[     95     ]  "Claude," 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


"  Claude,"  she  said,  "  Claude,"  and  her  voice 
was  soft  and  sweet  as  a  ripened  canteloupe,  - 
but  with  a  glance  of  mingled  terror  and  horror 


"  Claude  Kildare  with  a  double  somersault 

landed  gracefully  on  the  red  Brussels  roses  " 

he  gasped    in    a  hoarse,  harsh  whisper,    "Not 
Claude ! " 

"  Mr.  Kildare,"  she   began,   misapprehending 
his  meaning. 

[     96     ]  "Nay," 


AN  EASTER  GREETING 


"  Nay,"  he  moaned,  "  not  so.  None  of  those 
is  my  rightful  name.  Ah,  Lady  Berenice,  how 
shall  I  tell  thee  ?  My  name,  my  rightful,  my 
frightful  name  is  —  Abeniki  Caldwell ! " 

With  a  fearsome  shriek  the  Lady  Berenice 
fainted  in  the  arms  of  her  stalwart  suitor. 

Whether  the  sudden  and,  as  he  hoped,  tem 
porary  cessation  of  an  intelligent  use  of  her  fac 
ulties  was  due  to  the  Lady  Berenice's  surprise 
tinged  with  regret,  or  regret  sharpened  by  sur 
prise,  Abeniki  Caldwell  never  was  able  fully  to 
determine,  for  he  had  scarce  an  hour  in  which  to 
meditate  uninterruptedly  on  the  matter,  when, 
with  a  sigh  and  a  quivery  shiver,  the  lovely  eyes 
opened  their  blue  depths  and  widths,  and  the 
Lady  Berenice  came  to. 

"  Ah ! "  said  the  well-nigh  distraught  lover, 
gazing  raptly  into  the  fair,  flushed  face  of  his 
enchantress. 

"  Ah  ! "  she  replied. 

"  An  thou  lovest  me  the  same  ? "  he  queried 
gently. 

[  7  ]  [     97     ]  "How 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


"  How  is  it  spelled  ?  "  she  asked ;  and  though 
it  was  a  difficult  task,  he  spelt  Abeniki  for  her 
as  well  as  he  could. 

"Tis  a  rare,  precious  name,"  she  averred, 
"  and  fain  would  I  accept  a  lover  thus  dubbed. 
But  the  Caldwells  ? " 

"Aye,  the  Caldwells,"  repeated  Abeniki,  of 
that  race,  "  a  brave  and  brawny  house,  forsooth. 
A  hardy  clan,  any  of  whom  could  fight  single- 
handed  the  Barons  of  Bois-Bracy  and  destroy 
them  one  by  one.  'Sdeath !  the  Caldwells  be  a 
mighty  race,  a  boisterous,  blustering,  burly  race, 
and  they  put  to  shame  thy  puny,  puerile  ances 
tors  !  Ha,  Lady  Berenice,  would'st  n't  rather 
have  a  doughty  daredevil  to  thy  husband  than 
a  dandy  duke  ? " 

Although  the  daughter  of  a  hundred  earls,  the 
Lady  Berenice  was  so  impressed  by  this  talk 
that  her  patrician  principles  were  swept  away  as 
by  a  whirlwind,  and  she  answered,  with  the 
meek  modesty  so  becoming  a  woman : 

"  Aye,  sir." 

[     98     ]  "Then 


"  With  a  fearsome  shriek  the  Lady  Berenice  fainted 
in  the  arms  of  her  stalwart  suitor 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


"  Then  thou  art  mine ! "  cried  Abeniki  Cald- 
well,  in  enraptured  tones.  "  Come  to  these 
waiting  arms,  my  Lily  of  the  Desert,  my  Rose 
of  the  Ice-Bound  Sea." 

Like  a  trembling  oriflamme  the  fair  Lady 
Berenice  swayed  toward  him,  but  ere  she  rested 
her  tiaraed  head  on  his  armored  bosom,  the  por 
tals  of  the  apartment  parted  and  a  stern,  stento 
rian  voice  cried  out  in  accents  dire  : 

"  Cur,  coward,  caitiff !  what  dost  thou  here  ? 
Thou  pagan  dog,  darest  thou  lift  thy  wormy 
eyes  to  a  scion  of  the  House  of  Bois-Bracy? 
The  curse  of  St.  Hamako  be  upon  thee !  Thou 
art  a  fish  and  the  son  of  a  fish ! " 

"  My  father  ! "  shrieked  the  Lady  Berenice ; 
and  breaking  away  from  her  lover's  embrace,  she 
broke  into  a  flood  of  weeping. 

"  Jade  !  minx  !  cease  those  tears  !  "  com 
manded  the  enraged  Baron ;  but  at  this  his  dis 
obedient  daughter  only  wope  afresh. 

"  Hist ! "  said  Abeniki  Caldwell,  and  though 

'twas  but  a  whispered  word  it  echoed  with  a 

[     100     ]  steely 


•'  The  Lady  Berenice  broke  into  a  flood  of  weeping 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


steely  glitter  through  the  resonant  archives,  and 
caused  the  Baron's  soul  to  shrink  to  the  size  of  a 
shrivelled  pea. 

"  Hist ! "  the  young  man  hissed  again,  and 
the  Baron,  frenzied  with  fear,  tremblingly  cow 
ered  in  a  towering  rage,  and  histed. 

It  was  a  strange  encounter.  The  Baron,  a 
nobleman  of  some  twenty  years'  standing,  sat 
down  as  he  faced  his  plebeian  antagonist.  The 
old  man's  face  was  seared  with  the  lineaments  of 
high  birth  and  breeding,  and  race  was  clearly 
denoted  in  every  one  of  his  long  whiskers.  His 
silvered  locks  tossed  nobly  above  his  patrician 
brow,  and  his  august  nose  betokened  an  unbend 
ing  hauteur. 

But  his  malicious,  menacing  glance  was  met 
by  one  equally  terrifying.  Abeniki  Caldwell,  a 
son  of  the  people,  two  of  them,  a  layer  of 
bricks  and  a  hewer  of  mortar,  was  a  plebeian  of 
low  class,  yet  withal  of  a  high  temper.  Although 
but  an  outcast,  he  was  cast  in  a  heroic  mould, 
and  so  was  of  no  mind  to  accept  other  than  the 
[  102  ]  hero's 


[  His  silvered  locks  tossed  nobly  above  his  patrician  brow ' 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


hero's  role.  He  gazed  at  the  Baron,  a  suave, 
sinister  smile  curving  his  chiselled  lips  beneath 
his  marble  brow. 

A  pause  ensued,  and  then,  picking  up  the 
silence  which  had  fallen,  Abeniki,  with  one  eye 
on  the  Baron  and  one  on  the  Lady  Berenice, 
thus  spake : 

"  Baron  though  thou  be,  nobleman  though 
thou  art,  I  disdain  thee!  The  crawling  slug 
rises  in  red  rebellion  against  the  mammoth  mas 
todon  and  hurls  defiance  in  his  teeth  under  his 
very  nose !  Aye,  even  I  denounce  and  deject 
thee  !  The  time  shall  come  —  for  so  it  is  writ 
ten  —  when  Abeniki  Caldwell  shall  trium 
phantly  trample  on  the  prostrate  glories  of  the 
ruined  house  of  Bois-Bracy." 

"  Ha  ! "  ejaculated  the  panting  Baron. 

"  That  may  be  ! "  thundered  Abeniki,  "  but  by 
the  Holocaust  of  the  Hyperion,  thy  doom,  thy 
fatal  doom,  is  sealed.  Thy  towers  shall  totter, 
thy  turrets  tremble  and  tumble,  and  'mid  the 
crashing  din  of  destruction  I  shall  return  — 
[  104  ]  return, 


"  Abeniki  Caldwell,  a  son  of  the  people  " 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


return,  and,  grappling  with  incarnate  horrors, 
rescue  my  love,  my  Lady  Berenice. 

"  But  on  thee,  foul-hearted  traitor  of  a  false 
hearted  race,  the  dastard  doom  shall  descend,  — 
the  raging  elements  shall  engulf  thee,  and  a 
roaring,  rushing  torrent  of  seething  flame  shall 
hurl  thee  into  a  blazing,  fiery  pit,  black  with 
the  pitchy,  Stygian  blackness  of  thine  own 
scurvy,  sinister  soul  1 " 


[     106     ] 


CHAPTER  VI 


THE   BRASS  ANDIRONS 


leave  we  off  discoursement  of  the 
bumptious  Baron,  and  speak  we  concerning  the 
further  adventure  of  Abeniki  Caldwell. 

When  that  the  fair  knight  neared  the  tryst, 
all  waiting  sat  the  lovely  Lady  Berenice. 

"  Gramercy  Park  ! "  exclaimed  Abeniki,  "  but 
of  a  troth  thou  art  a  golden  vision !  " 

And  he  spake  true,  for  never,  I  ween,  might 
there  be  a  more  handsomer  or  better  bedight 
lady. 

Her  pale  poplin  peplum,  caught  up  with  a 
jewel-bestud  belt,  disclosed  a  petticoat  of  pink 
Paisley,  while  round  her  regal  shoulders  was 
wrapt  a  red  raglan. 

"  Adored  of  my  Heart,"  began  her  impetuous 
suitor,  as,  kneeling,  he  kissed  the  earth  be 
neath  her  feet,  "  meseems  thou  art  distraught. 
The  pale  cast  of  thought  sicklies  o'er  thy 
radiant  countenance,  and  fain  would  I  know  the 


cause." 


[     107     ]  "Alas,' 


ABENIKI  CALDWELL 


"  Alas,"  quoth  the  lovely  lady,  tears  dripping 
from  her  liquid  orbs,  "  all  too  well  knowest  thou 
what  cloud  o'erdims  my  roseate  future.  I,  a 
Berenice  of  the  Bois-Bracys,  may  not  wed  with 
a  bricklayer  and  a  Caldwell." 

"Now,  by  the  gabardine  of  St.  Archibald, 
this  passeth  all  patience ! "  cried  Abeniki  Cald 
well  in  a  stormy  wrath.  "  To  my  reasoning  a 
man  may  wed  whom  he  will,  an  he  but  love  her. 
What  meaneth  a  paltry  ancestral  line  ?  This 
marvel  eludeth  my  ken,  and  I  would  I  could 
see  with  thy  vision ! " 

The  Lady  Berenice  lifted  her  eyes  to  her 
lover's  face,  but  he  returned  them  tenderly,  with 
a  caressing  gesture,  and  murmured : 

"  Nay,  Fair  One,  —  but  list  thou  now  to  me. 
Mayhap  I  be  of  humble  origin,  perchance  'tis 
not  mine  to  wear  a  Baron's  hauberk,  or  an 
Earl's  baldric,  but  ere  yet  again  the  zodiac  shall 
round  the  azimuth,  Abeniki  Caldwell  shall 
proclaim  himself  a  prince,  a  royal  prince  of  the 
Blood!" 

[     108     ]  "And 


THE   BRASS  ANDIRONS 


"And  how  wilt  thou  compass  that?"  asked 
the  Lady  Berenice,  her  fair  brows  wrinkled  with 
wonder  and  interest. 

"  How  me  no  hows ! "  exclaimed  her  lover. 
"  I  go,  but  I  return  —  re-tur-r-n.  And  so,  my 
Betrothed,  my  Bride-To-Be,  adieu  for  the  nonce, 
but  no  longer.  Adieu,  my  Amiable  One,  my 
Adoration.  Sit  thou  there  and  await  me,  for  as 
a  prince  I  shall  return,  either  with  my  train  or 
on  it.  Adieu,  adieu,  and,  without  more  ado, 
adieu ! " 

With  admiration  and  adieu  depicted  on  every 
lineament  of  her  fair  face,  the  Lady  Berenice 
summoned  her  two  female  attendants,  and  as 
C  aid  well's  ship  fluttered  away  from  the  shore 
they  bade  him  a  hearty  good-speed  and  waved  a 
fond  farewell. 

My  sweet  adored  one  stood  high  on  a  sand- 
dune,  and  spied  me  through  her  spy-glass  until 
I  rounded  the  horizon  and  was  lost  to  view. 

As  I  sat  on  the  hurricane  deck  I  cogitated 

deeply  in  thought.     On  flew  my  staunch  ship 

[     109     ]  over 


ABEN1KI   CALDWELL 


over  the  deep,  dark,  dank  waters,  and  on  flew 
my  troubled  mind  across  the  days  and  months 
and  years  which  must,  perchance,  elapse  e'er  I 
returned,  a  prince  and  a  nabob,  to  claim  my 
Love,  my  Berenice. 

How  I  might  manage  this  I  had  no  notion. 
But  in  the  humble  heart  of  a  bricklayer  surged 
the  noble  yearnings  of  a  prince,  and  well  I 
knew  I  must  come  into  my  own  at  last.  It  was, 
forsooth,  uncertain  whether  I  would  choose  to 
be  a  changeling  prince  or  a  victim  of  mistaken 
identity.  If  both  these  politic  schemes  failed  I 
had  but  to  usurp  the  rights  of  some  well-to-do 
prince,  and  trust  to  my  dithyrambic  fate  to 
carry  me  through. 

Be  that  as  it  may,  I  sat  on  deck  that  golden- 
gray  evening  thrilled  with  the  throbbing  throes 
of  a  love  that  should  yet  be  blessed,  and  ex 
periencing  no  premonitions  of  the  wild  and 
woolly  hap  awaiting  me,  I  thought  with  a  deep 
thoughtfulness  on  the  beauty  of  my  radiant 
Lady  Berenice. 

[     110     ]  Zounds 


"  They  waved  him  a  fond  farewell 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


Zounds,  but  she  was  a  jewel  of  a  woman! 
Her  teeth  of  pearl  set  'twixt  her  ruby  lips  ;  her 
marble  brow  and  alabaster  neck  ;  her  shell-like 
ears,  half  hidden  by  her  gold  (plaited)  hair ;  her 
sapphire  eyes  with  their  jet  lashes,  shedding  dia 
mond  tears  at  my  departure !  And  to  think  she 
should  be  so  unattainable,  so  far  above  me.  But 
I  vowed  to  change  all  that.  I  swore  I  would 
yet  be  her  equal,  and  things  which  are  equal  to 
each  other  are  equal  to  anything. 

Anon  after  that,  Abeniki  Caldwell  sat  moody 
on  the  quarter-deck  of  his  swift-flying  shallop. 
Rearing  and  plunging,  the  noble  vessel  forged 
ahead,  leaving  a  wake  astern,  and  as  Abeniki 
paced  the  boom  the  ship  rolled  and  surged  on  an 
even  keel. 

"Ha!"  he  thought  to  himself,  muttering  in 
monosyllables,  as  the  black,  bleak  stars  glowered 
at  him  from  the  murky  heavens,  "  ha !  the  hour 
shall  yet  come,  the  day  shall  yet  dawn  in  its 
splendor,  when  those  same  stars  shall  illumine 
the  subterranean  tombs  of  my  noble  ancestors ! 
[  112  ]  Aye, 


THE   BRASS   ANDIRONS 


Aye,  when  Abeniki  Caldwell  shall  flaunt  his  pa 
trician  birth  and  breeding  in  the  faces  of  his 
tormentors,  while  they  hide  their  heads  for  very 
shame.  Then  will  I  espouse  my  beauteous 
Berenice,  and  brave,  for  her  fair  sake,  the  fifteen 
discomforts  of  matrimony ! " 

Having  hissed  these  words,  Abeniki  flung  his 
gray  gabardine  three  times  over  his  shoulder  and 
strode  swiftly  amidships. 

Why,  do  you  ask  ?  Ah,  question  not  the 
deeds  of  a  desperate  man.  Even  though  his 
heart  was  suffused  with  the  radiant  remembrance 
of  his  liege  lady,  even  though  his  massive  brain 
was  all  agog  with  the  unfathomable  problem 
he  had  set  himself  to  solve,  even  though  his 
thoughts  were  absorbed  in  the  abstrusities  of 
transcendant  issues,  yet  such  was  the  tensely- 
strung  nature  of  his  marvellously  observant 
mind  that  Abeniki  Caldwell  smelled  smoke. 
And  that  none  too  soon.  As  he  sauntered 
toward  the  taffrail  the  decks  burst  into  a  lurid 
blaze,  and  though  many  ran  hither  and  yon, 
[  s  ]  [  113  ]  none 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


none  paused  to  acquaint  our  hero  with  the  de 
tails  of  the  disaster. 

Now  it  so  came  about  that  though  all  disdain 
ful  of  other  elemental  dangers,  though  fearless 
and  careless  of  flood,  earthquake,  or  tornado, 
Abeniki  Caldwell  had  a  congenital  horror  of  fire. 
Oft  had  he  travelled  miles  to  experience  the 
delights  of  a  terrestrial  fissure ;  a  torrential 
cloud-burst  was  to  him  but  a  trickling  shower- 
bath  ;  and  in  a  whirling,  sweeping  cyclone  found 
he  peace  and  content. 

Minding,  then,  I  doubt  not,  a  blind  impulse 
rather  than  a  diagnosed  intent,  skipping,  as  he 
were  the  Arch-Fiend  on  his  own  coals,  with 
eyes  alight  and  head  aloft  he  bounded  up  to  the 
hurricane  deck,  where  raged  a  wild  and  wailing 
hurricane. 

He  felt  the  biting  wind  and  realized  that  he 
was  in  the  very  teeth  of  the  storm. 

This  was  the  night,  black  with  the  blackness 
of  an  ebonized  Erebus,  dark  with  the  darkness 
of  a  black  cat's  pocket. 

[     114     ]  Into 


THE   BRASS  ANDIRONS 


Into  this  inky,  pitchy,  sooty,  murky,  fuliginous 
midnight  gazed  the  glaring,  glittering  eyes  of 
Abeniki  Caldwell. 


"  «  The  time  is  ripe ' " 

All  triumphant  stood  he,  motionless,  though 
dancing  about  with  excitement,  and  withal  calm 
as  a  sleeping  sloth. 

[     115     ]  He 


ABENIEI   CALDWELL 


He  bruited  his  purpose  to  no  one,  but 
stealthily  and  surreptitiously  looked  from  be 
neath  frowning  brows  at  his  watch. 


"  The  delicate  instrument  being yarely  adjusted'1'' 

"  The  time  is  ripe,"  he  muttered,  a  sinister 
gleam  dawning  in  his  either  eye,  "aye,  and 
over-ripe.  All  cautiously  must  I  pick  my  time. 
But,  soft !  it  now  behooveth  to  set  my  quad 
rant." 

The  delicate  instrument  being  yarely  adjusted, 
[  116  ]  Abeniki 


THE  BRASS  ANDIRONS 


Abeniki  Caldwell  gazed  with  a  bent  face  upon 
its  revelations. 

"  Sith  the  secant  equaleth  the  cosyhedral  tan 
gent,"  he  muttered,  "  then,  by  the  rood,  the  spot 
is  but  equidistant.  Ha !  't  is  as  I  feared." 


"  Whizzing  whirringly  through  the 
circumambient  atmosphere  " 

In  mad  haste  he  seized  an  oar,  and,  leaping 
strident  o'er  the  taffrail,  he  was,  with  all  soon- 
ness,  whizzing  whirringly  through  the  circumam 
bient  atmosphere. 

On  he  sped,  on  and  down,  until,  his  traverse 
ended,  he  alit  with  safety  on  a  bounding  buoy. 

[     117     ]  Howbeit, 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


Howbeit,  he  had  great  to-do  to  rest  quietly 
on  this  coign  of  vantage,  for  so  curved  and  wet 
and  slippery  was  it  that  he  must  needs  cling  for 


"  A  monstrous  shark  all  unfriendly  of  expression  " 

the  dear  life  he  was  preserving  for  his  unknown 
ancestors. 

Still  was  it  cooler  and  pleasanter  than  the 

burning  deck,  and,  as  the  hours  struck,  for  it 

[     118     ]  was 


THE   BRASS  ANDIRONS 


was  a  bell-buoy,  Abeniki  Caldwell  clung  right 
cheerily,  when  approached  a  monstrous  shark  all 
unfriendly  of  expression. 

Though  passing  brave  of  heart,  Abeniki  could 
scarce  prevent  a  slight  show  of  irritation  on  his 
otherwise  handsome,  tranquil  face.  Then  with 
a  Delsarte  gesture  expressive  of  dire  despair,  he 
gave  himself  up  for  lost. 

And,  in  sooth,  to  the  casual  onlooker  the  situ 
ation  might  appear  somewhat  strained. 

But  of  a  sudden,  swooping  downward  with 
ravenous  beaks  through  the  blue  air,  descended 
a  flock  of  sea-larks.  Onslaught  made  they  upon 
the  Cyrano-nosed  monster,  until,  for  very  pain 
and  rage,  was  the  shark  forced  beneath  the 
waving  water. 

Whereupon  the  night  fell ;  and  as  Abeniki 
Caldwell  dozed  in  the  darkness,  so  lost  he  his 
hold  of  the  buoyant  buoy,  and,  silently  drifting, 
floated  adown  the  tide. 

All  unnoting  distance  or  direction,  it  ill  be- 

seemeth  to  say  that 't  was  with  surprise  he  found 

[     119     ]  himself 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


himself  at  the  dawn  on  a  bleak  and  barren  desert 
island.  Uprearing  his  stalwart  frame  to  a  sit 
ting  posture,  Abeniki  Caldwell  looked  about. 
About  what  ?  you  ask.  About  three  and  thirty, 
I  reply,  though,  mark  you,  this  is  but  of  a 
rumor.  Whose  is  it  to  say  veraciously  of  the 
age  of  an  unrecorded  bricklayer  ? 

The  dawning  day  broke  slowly  over  the  serried 
Sierras,  and  the  vine-clad  hills  cast  trembling 
shadows  on  the  mere.  Snow-capped  peaks  rose 
majestically  in  the  air  and  floated  away. 
Hordes  of  wild  animals  bayed  blatantly  at  the 
silent,  hooded  form,  as,  all  unheeding,  Abeniki 
plodded  on. 

But  albeit  his  surroundings  were  all  that  could 
be  desired,  yet  in  the  harrowed  heart  of  the 
besom  bricklayer  smouldered  ever  and  anon  a 
fierce,  blazing  anger,  the  which  he  might  not 
quell. 

"  Is  a  prince  but  a  chaffinch  ? "  he  roared  in 

dumb  soliloquy.     "Is  it  naught  that  I  bear  a 

panoply  all  unencumbered  of  danger  or  defeat  ? 

[     120     ]  Nay! 


THE  BRASS  ANDIRONS 


Nay !  a  thousand  times,  nay !  and  by  the  Invin 
cible  Armadillo  of  the  Aurelian  Archipelago  I 
vow  to  reach  —  aye,  and  to  overreach  my 
goal!" 


CHAPTER  VII 


THE   LOYALTY  OF   LORRAINE 

JW  O W  leave  we  off  discoursement  of  my  ad 
venture  by  sea,  and  turn  we  to  the  right  marvel 
lous  prowess  which  befel  me  by  land. 

A  many  days  I  wandered  among  the  bosky 
dells  and  jungle  glades  of  the  desert  island,  yet 
met  I  no  man  and  eke  no  woman.  Nor  had  I 
food.  Wearily  I  trudged  the  rocky  paths,  cold  and 
fatigue  my  bedfellows,  starvation  my  playmate. 
Ever  and  anon  my  thought  stole  back  to  my 
lovely  lady,  and  then  more  present  dangers  re 
called  me  to  myself. 

Oft  at  the  dawn  would  I  wake  in  my  ham 
mock,  slung  high  beneath  the  rays  of  the  cres 
cent  moon,  and  gaze  down  into  the  open, 
hungry,  yelping  jaws  of  a  dozen  wild  animals. 
And  I  but  laughed  at  them,  —  aye,  laughed ; 
yet,  withal,  't  was  a  mere  mockery  of  a  laugh, 
and  rang  but  hollowly  from  my  chattering  teeth. 
Howbeit  I  made  shift  to  stay  ever  in  the  trees 
when  dangerous  beasts  stalked  below,  and  being 
[  122  ]  a 


THE  LOYALTY  OF   LORRAINE 

a  man  of  well-ordered  content,  I  fretted  not 
nor  fumed,  though  regretting  sorely  the  delay 
of  my  quest. 


**  Oft  at  the  dawn  would  I  wake  in  my  hammock  " 

But  of  a  day  it  came  to  pass  as  I  sat  blithely 
on  a  branch,  that  it  brake  with  a  dire  cracking 
noise,  and,  without  more  ado,  downfalling,  I 
descended  to  the  open,  upturned  jaws  of  two 
Bengal  lions. 

[     123     ]  Lions 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


Lions,  did  I  say?     Nay,  I  but  jested, — the 
beasts  were  of  more  vengeful  sort.     A  bear  and 

a  tiger  met  my  aston 
ished  vision,  and  at  their 
proximity  was  I  sore 
provoked. 

But  I  had  at  them, 
and  did  as  bravely  as 
it  were  possible  a  man 
to  do. 

The  bear  advanced 
and  I  smote  off  his 
head  with  my  trusty 
club,  then  gripping  the 
furious  tiger  by  his  furry 
throat  I  made  despatch- 
ment  of  him  with  my 
cutlass.  Thus,  then, 
was  the  victory  all  mine 
own,  and  with  speed  I  set  off  and  walked  on 
to  the  cabin. 

Merrily  strode  I  along  and  reached  the  rude 
[     124     ]  hut 


Howbeit  I  made  shift  to  stay 
ever  in  the  trees ' 


THE  LOYALTY  OF  LORRAINE 


hut  in  time  to  perceive  two  plain,  hard-featured 
men  busily  laboring  at  their  work. 

"  Hola,  fair  gentle 
men,"  said  I,  for  I  was 
ever  polite  and  cour 
teous  of  address. 

The  rougher,  gruf 
fer,  and  tougher  of 
the  two  fellows  turned 
his  weather-beaten 
face  to  mine  and 
handed  me  his  card. 

"  Admiral  Farra- 
gut !  "  read  I  aloud  ; 
"  now  by  my  troth  we 
be  well  met.  And 
how  may  thy  friend 
be  called?" 


*  Down/ ailing,  I  descended  to  the  open, 
upturned  jaws  of  two  Bengal  lions  " 


"  Only  with  a  megaphone,"  replied  the  Ad 
miral,  "  for,  alack !  he  is  of  a  stone-deafness. 
Hola  !  Hola  ! !  Charley  !  Char-lee  !  !"  he  then 
shouted  through  his  parenthesized  hands. 

[     125     ]  The 


ABENIKI  CALDWELL 


**  The  bear  advanced  " 

The  fellow  turned,  and  I  saw  of  a  truth  't  was 
none  other  than  Charles  II.  of  England. 

"  Exiled,  by  Jingo  ! "  I  exclaimed,  for  my  his 
toric  knowledge  was  great  and  impugnable. 

[     126     ]  "Aye," 


THE  LOYALTY  OF  LORRAINE 

"Aye,"  Charles  replied,  "'twas  indeed  by 
Jingo,  though  not  then  so  dubbed.  Odspitikins, 
sore  do  I  fear  Cromwell's  dragoons  will  follow 
me  e'en  to  this  restful  spot,  this  St.  Helena, 
home  of  the  exiles." 

"  Marry  ! "  quoth  I,  "  and  is  this,  then,  the  Isle 
of  St.  Helena,  the  Isle  of  the  Exiles  ? " 

A  thousand  fleeting  thoughts  flet  through  my 
brain.  Could  it  be,  might  I  dare  hope,  that 
Napoleon  would  be  there  ?  All  tremblingly  I 
put  the  question,  and  with  bated  breath  harked 
for  the  answer. 

"  Aye,"  said  Admiral  Farragut,  and  his  rugged 
countenance  seemed  to  lose  a  little  of  its  rug, 
"  aye,  across  yon  firth  he  dwells.  See'st  thou 
not  the  smoke  arising  from  his  chateau  chim 
neys?" 

I  gazed,  aghast  and  aglow  with  suspended 
patriotism,  then  unbating  my  breath,  I  quoth  : 

"  Noble  Napoleon,  Hero  of  the  Heroless,  all 

honor  to  thee  and  thy  vicious  victory  at  Valley 

Forge !      Accept    the    homage  of  a  nameless, 

[     127     ]  fameless, 


ABENIKI    CALDWELL 


"  Gripping  the  furious  tiger  by  his  furry  throat" 

fameless,  blameless  youth,  and  may'st  thou  ever 
more  be  safe  from  the  savage  Sheikhs  and  the 
snub-nosed  Normans." 

[     128     ]  At 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


At  this  sonorous  and  able  peroration  the  two 
men  had  at  me  and  made  as  if  to  shake  me  by 
the  hand  in  approbation ;  but  being  ever  of  mod 
est  demeanor,  I  covered  my  eyes,  saying,  "  'T  is 
naught,  't  is  naught ! "  and  from  that  moment 
were  we  all  fast  friends.  Farragut  was  faster 
than  I,  but  Charles  was  fastest  of  the  lot,  and  by 
the  same  token  sat  we  down  to  devise  our  plans. 

To  it  briefly,  then.  They  had  come  to  the 
island  with  full  fell  purpose  of  plundering  and 
conveying  away  the  gold  and  treasure  deep 
buried  there  by  Cossimbazar,  King  of  the  Incas. 

"  Odso ! "  quoth  I,  when  that  this  had  been 
vented  unto  me. 

"  Be  that  as  it  may  ! "  cried  Admiral  Farragut 
wrathfully  enough,  "  but  know,  thou  Saxon  yeo 
man,  that  my  father  was  a  Spaniard,  and  there 
fore  on  me  and  none  other  devolves  the  dastard 
duty  of  rescuing  the  royal  rubies  and  grasping 
the  graven  gold  !  " 

I  consented  outwardly  enough,  but  a  suffo 
cating  doubt  eddied  all  miserably  through  my 
[  130  ]  staunch 


"  /  covered  my  eyes,  saying,  '  JTis  nauyht,  V  is  naught ' ' 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


staunch  heart,  for  full  well  I  knew  their  merry 
badinage  was  but  a  cloak  covering  a  deep,  dark, 
and  deadly  plot  to  kill  and  assassinate  me  even 
at  the  even. 

But  of  this  breathed  I  naught,  and  for  many 
days  we  sought  the  buried  gold,  carrying  always 
our  trusty,  rusty  muskets  in  case  of  need. 

I  bided  my  time,  for  I  was  ever  of  patient 
demeanor,  but  even  while  discoursing  with  the 
Admiral  in  doleful  panegyric,  or  mumming  with 
Charles  in  merry-making  mood,  I  anon  revolved 
in  my  secret  heart  a  plan  of  escape. 

But  even  as  I  mused  the  sultry  sun  went 
down  in  a  golden  glow  of  glory  and  the  blue 
mountains  of  Sahara  showed  clear  against  the 
horizon. 

"  Now ! "  hissed  both  my  enemies  at  once, 
and  with  demoniac  shrieks  they  sprang  at  me 
and  grasped  my  either  arm. 

But  in  that  awful  moment  the  truth  was  re 
vealed  to  me,  and  I  cursed  myself  for  my  afore 
time  blindness. 

[     132     ]  These 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


These  hilding  fellows  were  not  what  I  deemed 
them.  All  basely  had  they  lied  in  their  scurvy 
throats  when  they  allotted  unto  themselves 
exalted  names  that  were  in  no  wise  their 
right. 

I  struggled  not,  nor  strove  to  free  myself,  but 
as  the  coward  caitiffs  stood,  one  at  my  right 
side  and  one  at  my  left,  I  looked  both  squarely 
in  the  face  and  said,  "  Ha ! " 

As  I  had  apprehended,  both  villains  fell  to 
their  knees  and  begged  for  mercy.  Marry !  how 
the  craven  knaves  wept  and  grovelled  at  my 
either  foot. 

"  We  meant  no  harm  I "  stammered  the  one  I 
had  called  Charles,  the  tears  streaming  down  his 
flower-like  face ;  "  we  but  caressed  thee,  as  a 
mark  of  loyal  affection." 

"  Videlicet?  I  replied  (which  is  to  say,  "  I  per 
ceive  thou  liest"),  "and  therefore,  though  so 
easy  a  death  were  too  great  a  guerdon,  I  thus 

avenge  thy  deed." 

After  these  words,  uttered  in  a  mild,  majestic 
[     134     ]  tone, 


THE   LOYALTY  OF  LORRAINE 

tone,  I  ran  him  through  with  my  sword,  and  he 
ran  away. 

Turned  I  then  to  the  other  bold  outlaw. 

"  Hark,  thee,  minion,"  I  cried  in  unbridled 
rage,  "  ere  sets  the  sun,  the  red-gold  sun,  send  I 
a  shaft  clean  through  thy  skulking  heart.  Pleas, 
plaints,  prayers  alike  are  vain ;  in  one  brief  mo 
ment  shalt  thou  reap  the  rife  reward  of  thy 
foul,  false  life.  Ha,  fiend !  thinkest  thou  to 
escape  ?  Nay,  by  the  bloody  bones  of  St.  Ping- 
Pong,  thou  shalt  even  now  drop  darkling  to 
thy  dread  doom !  Know,  thou  Saxon  churl, 
that  in  this  erstwhile  tranquil  heart  thou  hast 
raised  a  savage  rage,  a  fuming,  fiery  fury  that 
shall  engulf  thee,  and  hurling  venomous  male 
dictions  and  crashing  execrations  at  thy  de 
moniac  head  shall  drag  thee,  shrieking,  to  thy 
dissolution  ! " 

My  oratory  quite  carried  him  away,  and 
though  I  sought  him  diligently  for  days,  yet 
nevermore  saw  I  the  rough,  kindly  face  and 
brawny  brow  of  my  would-be  murderer. 

[     135     ]  Now 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


Now  turn  we  yet  anon  to  the  aged  alchemist 
who  lived  in  a  haunted  hut,  half  hidden  in  the 
bramble-brae. 

Straight  to  him  I  trudged,  and  with  fair  obei 
sance  saluted  him 
and  he  me  again. 

"HolaTIcried, 
to  attract  his  atten- 
tion,  for  he  was 
immersed  in  his 
seething,  bubbling 
liquids. 

"  Begone,  Var- 
let,"  he  growled ; 
but  unheeding  his 
retort,  I  stumbled 

-Begone,  Varlet;  he  groM"  over  it  and  broke  it. 

This  irated  him  fearsomely,  and  seizing  a  cru 
cible  in  either  hand  he  was  for  me  at  once. 

"  Soft,  soft,  good  father,"  quoth  I,  "  I  come 
but  for  thy  sage  advice  and  assistance,  and  with 
good  gold  will  I  well  repay  thee." 

[     136     ]  At 


THE   LOYALTY   OF   LORRAINE 

At  bare  mention  of  gold  the  old  alchemist 
simmered  down,  and,  peering  at  me  from  beneath 
his  bushy  spectacles,  thus  spake : 

"  And  what  would'st  thou,  rash  youth  ?  De- 
sirest  thou  to  wrest  the  secrets  of  futurity  from 
the  grim  heart  of  Fate  ?  " 

"  Of  a  truth,"  quoth  I,  "  I  crave  but  one  small 
boon.  I  would  be  a  prince." 

"  A  prince,  forbye  !  Ha,  't  is  easy,  an  we 
but  hoodwink  the  Fates.  Hist,  I  take  thy 
horoscope." 

Assuming  a  graceful  position,  I  smiled,  but 
withal  inscrutably,  while  yet  the  old  alchemist 
set  his  quadrant  and  adjusted  his  focusses. 

Followed  a  faint,  sizzling  smell,  and  a  pale, 
thick  odor  as  of  asphodel,  rose  to  mine  ears. 

But  when,  at  long  last,  the  smoke  cleared 
away,  all  plainly  on  the  whitewashed  wall  could 
be  discerned  the  subjoined  diagram. 

Eagerly  the  old  alchemist  scanned  the  shad 
owy  shape.  "  'T  is  grave,  't  is  grave,"  he  mut 
tered. 

[     137     ]  "It 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


"  It  looks  not  like  a  grave,"  I  made  bold  to 
suggest. 

"  Nay,  Varlet,  hold  thou  thy  tongue  !  These 
arrows  betoken  thy  death.  Aye,  death,  at  the 
hands  of  fierce  and  savage  Indians.  Beware 


u  The  subjoined  diagram 


thou  of  wigwams,  and  let  not  thy  feet  stray 
where  the  tomahawk  flieth.  Hold  up  thine 
hands!" 

In  simple  obedience  I  raised  my  psychic,  pa 
trician  hands  to  his  ken. 

"  All  is  thine,"  he  said,  and  his   voice  rang 

with  a  passionate  indifference.     "  'T  is  here  writ 

that  thy  dear  desire  shall  be  fulfilled.     A  prince 

[     138     ]  shalt 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


shalt  thou  be,  and  a  right  royal  one.     But  of  a 
truth   thy  destiny  is   controlled   by   the   Arch- 


"  A  termagant  demon  ending 
in  horns  and  hoofs ' 


Fiend,  and  unless  thou  may'st  placate  him  all 
thy  strivings  for  princehood  are  but  vain." 

[     140     ]  "Ha!" 


THE   LOYALTY  OF   LORRAINE 

"  Ha ! "  cried  I,  in  all  the  ardor  of  my  youth 
ful  enthusiasm,  "  show  him  to  me  ! " 

The  old  alchemist  stood  upright,  as,  grovelling 
on  the  ground,  he  pronounced  a  spell. 

Burst  then  forth  from  the  groaning  earth  a 
most  fearsome  volume  of  smoke  and  flame,  dis 
closing,  as  it  rolled  away,  the  figure  of  a  terma 
gant  demon  ending  in  horns  and  hoofs. 

I  shuddered  and  shrieked,  as  one  aghast  at  a 
ghost. 

"  Peace,  peace  ! "  I  cried.  "  I  desire  not  tam 
pering  and  trinketing  with  the  Powers  of  Dark 
ness.  Peace ! " 

"  Aye,"  said  the  apparition,  in  a  mocking  sub 
terranean  voice,  "  aye,  well  may'st  thou  tremble, 
thou  paltry  stripling  !  Well  may'st  thou  shiver 
in  thy  buskins  at  sight  of  me,  for  in  my  hand 
hold  I  thy  destiny." 

"  Give  it  me,"  quoth  I,  for  in  no  way  could  I 
see  how  it  might  be  of  use  to  him. 

"  An  thou  payest,"  he  responded  in  a  sizzling 
whisper. 

[     141     ]  Now, 


ABENIKI  CALDWELL 


Now,  ever  had  I  been  taught  to  give  the  Devil 
his  due,  so  producing  my  scrip  I  said,  "How 
much  ? " 

"  Nay,"  he  replied,  "  I  desire  not  gold,  but  of 
thy  bounty  I  beg  a  greater  boon." 

"Name  it,"  quoth  I,  though  all  fearfully  I 
feared  his  request. 

The  demoniac  face  drew  nearer  mine  own, 
and  in  my  shivering,  shrivelling  ear  a  lurid  voice 
hissed  and  sissed : 

"  I  command  of  thee  a  dozen  yard-long  spoons. 
Fain  would  I  invite  some  friends  to  sup." 


[     142     ] 


CHAPTER  VIII 


THE   SIX-SIDED   SQUARE 

JL  HE  hush  of  the  horizon  and  the  gentle  twitter 
of  the  cerulean  zenith  sank  all  peacefully  o'er 
the  multitudinous  tiny  islands  that  gem  the 
glassy  expanse  of  the  interior  of  Tuscany.  A 
fierce  tumult  hung  like  a  sodden  pall  over  the 
strife-stricken  city. 

No  one  was  visible  in  the  deserted  streets,  and 
all  pedestrians  and  by-standers  were  garbed  in 
bombazine  of  deepest  black. 

Crape  streamers  fluttered  dolefully  from  every 
door-bell,  and  each  window  showed  its  wreath  of 
immortelles. 

"  There  's  something  toward,"  muttered  Abe- 
niki  Caldwell,  as  he  strode,  hot-foot,  into  the 
very  heart  of  the  city. 

But  being  of  marvellous  discreet  and  conserva 
tive  disposition,  he  formed  no  rash  or  hasty 
opinion.  Howbeit,  after  deep  pondering  and 
judicious  consideration  of  evidence,  he  concluded 
that  somebody  must  be  dead. 

[     143     ]  And 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


in 


And  even  as  he  watched,  he  beheld  an  endless 
procession  of  the  black-robed  citizens  hastening 

at  great  speed  to  the 
King's  palace. 

"Good  yeoman," 
said  Abeniki,  address 
ing  one  of  these,  "  who 
be  ye,  and  why  hasten 
ye  thus  to  the  King's 
palace  ? " 

"The  young  Prince 
is  dead,"  quoth  the 
citizen,  "  and  we  but 
go  to  make  dole  and 
lamentation." 

At  these  words  a 
glorious  glimmer  broke 
mentality  of  Abeniki 
Caldwell.  Who  shall  say  what  sinister  scheme 
seethed  in  the  abysses  of  his  sinuous  soul  ? 

All   impenetrable,   he   stood   in  a  recumbent 

posture,  no  less  sincere  than  delusive,  when,  with 

[     144     ]  agony 


"  An  endless  procession  of  the  black- 
robed  citizens  hastening  at  great 
speed  to  the  King's  palace  " 

upon    the    mysterious 


THE   SIX-SIDED   SQUARE 

agony  depicted  in  every  step,  his  weary  feet 
broke  forth  into  exclamations  of  triumphant 
fury. 


The  armed  guards  " 


In  mad  haste  he  trundled  to  the  palace ;  with 
beetling  brows  and  ireful  eyes  he  boldly  de 
manded  secret  conclave  with  the  King. 

Being  refused,  he  flew  into  a  blazing  passion, 
he  towered,  he  glowered,  he  drew  his  sword  on 
the  armed  guards,  ran  them  through,  and  then 
ran  through  them,  and  arrived  dishevelled  and 
breathless  in  the  King's  antechamber. 

[   10  ]  [     145     ]  Here 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


Here  met  he  a  pale,  pompous  personage,  none 
other  than  my  Lord  Wimbert. 

"  Hey,  and  what  ho !  "  quoth  Wimbert,  who 
was  ever  of  merry  manner.  "  What  is  thy  busi 
ness,  young  sir  ?  Wouldst  advise  the  King  in  his 
counsel,  or  lay  down  laws  for  the  Queen  ?  " 

I  smiled  inwardly  at  his  close  though  unwit 
ting  guess,  but  with  a  Delsarte  gesture  expres 
sive  of  courteous  contempt  I  waved  him  aside. 

He  returned  immediately,  and  all  persistently 
blocked  my  way. 

"  Avaunt,  Varlet!"  I  cried,  "'tis  the  King  I 
seek,  and  have  a  care,  lest  thy  prostrate  carcass 
prove  but  a  footpath  to  his  Majesty  ! " 

Lord  Wimbert  winked  wheedlingly. 

"Ah,  pretty  youth,"  quoth  he,  "an  thou 
listenest  not  to  me,  thy  life  is  in  articulo 
mortis,  which  is,  being  interpreted,  a  mortgaged 
article." 

"Ha!"  cried  I,  "thou  pratest  right  lustily, 
and  yet,  for  a  pin's  fee,  would  I  sheathe  my  jave 
lin  in  thy  lack-wit  lungs." 

[     146     ]  "Hey-day, 


"  He  returned  immediately,  and  all  persistently  blocked  my  way  " 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


"  Hey-day,  cockscomb  !  "  said  Wimbert,  still 
merry  of  face,  "  an  thou  heedest  me  not,  within 
the  hour  shalt  thy  javelin  drop  from  thy  cold  and 
death-stiffened  hand." 

"  Have  done  this  fool  speech ! "  cried  I,  all 
agog  with  rage  ;  but  even  as  I  had  at  him,  he 
whispered : 

"  Of  a  pity,  boy,  hold  !     I  am  thy  father  !  " 

Tears  of  joy,  woe,  mortification,  triumph,  and 
despair  coursed  successively  adown  my  marble 
brow. 

All  silently  I  glared  at  my  apparent  parent, 
then,  throwing  down  my  arms,  I  fell  into  his. 

"  Father ! "  I  cried,  and  the  word  thrilled 
through  lingering  latitudes  of  nebulous  space. 

"  Father,  forsooth  !  "  I  continued,  "  and  what 
is  one  father  ?  I  demand  more  fathers,  fore 
fathers,  eight  fathers,  —  aye,  a  long  line  of  suc 
cessive  fathers,  whose  green  graves  shall  form  the 
leaves  of  a  noble  ancestral  tree." 

"  All  this  is  thine  ! "  exclaimed  my  father,  as 

he  drew  from  his  gabardine  pocket  a  parchment 

[     148     ]  roll. 


"  Throwing  down  my  arms,  I  fell  into  Ms 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


roll.  "  Child,  take  thou  this,  and  go  thy  way  ; 
then  when  one  askest  of  thee  thy  lineage  and 
descent,  show  him  the  screed  I  gave  thee,  and  I 
warrant  thy  heritage  is  assured." 

He  grasped  me  warmly  by  the  hand,  and  in  my 
great  gratitude  I  shook  the  old  man  heartily  and 
proceeded  to  advance  into  the  royal  presence. 

Now  King  Henry  VIII.  was  a  man  of  much 
royal  presence,  and  though  a  bold  and  valiant 
knight  as  might  ever  be,  I  found  myself  a  bit 
fearsome  when  I  faced  him. 

His  imposing  figure  was  bewrapped  in  a  robe 
of  ermine,  and  his  royal  crown  sat  squarely  on 
his  bald  head. 

"  Who  art  thou,  and  what  want'st  thou  of 
me  ? "  quoth  the  King,  all  querulously,  for  he  was 
of  an  irritable  and  imbecile  temper,  and  stayed 
never  for  long  of  a  good  nature. 

"Oh,   noble   King,"    I   began  in   my   simple 
straightforward  way,  as  I  was  ever  wont,  "  Mon 
arch  of  all  Monarchs,  Henry  of  all  Henries,  Ben 
edick  of  all  Benedicks,  thy  beauteous  son,  the 
[     150     ]  fair 


THE   SIX-SIDED   SQUARE 

fair  and  fat  young  Prince,  is  no  more.  Alas,  we 
all  alas  for  that.  But  sith  it  be  so  I  am  come, 
in  all  modesty,  to  make  humble  profferance  of 
myself  as  a  substitute  son.  Think,  O  King,  a 
ready-made  son  and  Prince  is  here  for  thee  ;  one 
who  will  be  a  credit  to  thee  and  to  thy  court ; 
one  whose  princeliness  is  beyond  all  compare, 
whose  courtly  demeanor  and  valiant  valor  are 
the  royal  result  of  a  long  ancestral  line  of  noble 
and  peerless  progenitors." 

"  Ha ! "  quoth  King  Henry  VIII.,  rubbing  his 
royal  nose  with  his  kingly  forefinger,  "but  I 
know  thee  not." 

"  Ah,  Sire,"  quoth  I,  "  't  is  but  a  mishap  Time 
will  remedy." 

"  True,  true,"  mused  the  great  and  wide  mon 
arch,  "  but  thy  name,  —  thy  credentials  ?  " 

I  paused  in  turn.  Then,  like  a  flash,  I  be 
thought  me  of  the  parchment  roll  my  father, 
Lord  Wimbert,  had  given  me,  and  with  a  flour 
ish  no  less  grandiloquent  than  magniloquent  I 
spread  the  scroll  before  his  royal  eyes. 

[     151     ]  "Behold," 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


"  Behold,"  I  cried,  "  my  family  tree  !  Behold 
the  succession  of  noble  warriors,  whose  strength 
and  prowess,  transmitted  from  father  to  son,  have 
culminated  in  one,  the  last  scion  of  the  fair  house 
of  Caldwell,  —  Abeniki,  who  all  pridefully  bows 
low  before  thee." 

I  stood,  with  my  feet  in  the  air,  waiting  the 
King's  decree. 

Henry  looked  with  though tfulness  on  the  de 
picted  features  of  thirteen  of  my  ancestry. 

"Zooks!"  he  exclaimed  at  last,  "these  be 
worthy  fellows  and  most  marvellous  handsome. 
Abeniki  Caldwell,"  and  he  laid  his  fat  hand  on 
my  shoulder  with  a  gentle  touch,  as  of  a  batter 
ing-ram,  "  the  Princehood  is  thine !  Hie  thee 
now  to  the  Court  Tailor  and  bid  him  see  to  it 
that  the  Imperial  Asterisk  and  Royal  Rhododen 
dron  be  embroidered  upon  thy  doublet." 

With  stately  gait,  as  of  an  ice-wagon,  King 
Henry  moved  toward  me,  and  in  very  ecstasy  of 
gibbering  joy  I  kissed  the  great  hand  of  the 
great  monarch. 

[     152     ]  Then 


"  The  depicted  features  of  thirteen  of  my  ancestry 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


Then  went  I  out  boldly  to  exercise  my  new 
vocation.  In  all  haste  I  collected  a  royal  reti 
nue,  and  then  wTent  I  to  choose  my  apartments 

in  the  palace. 


Prince  were  gorgeous  in 
their  sumptuous  mag 
nificence,  but  with  a 
regal  disregard  of  expen- 
diture  I  ordered  them 
decked  anew  for  my  use. 
Katherine  of  Arragon 
was  Queen  for  the  nonce, 

"  The  Imperial  Asterisk  and  1,1  ^ 

Rental  Rhododendron"   an<*   to  her,  as  Queen- 

mother,   paid   I   gallant 

court.  Right  fairly  praised  she  my  beauty  and 
wit,  but  I  said,  "  Arra  g'  on,  you  're  only  foolin'," 
whereupon  she  laughed  gaily  as  of  a  great 
mischief. 

But  withal,  oft  seemed  she  of  a  sad  melan 
choly. 

"  What  ails  ? "  quoth  I  at  such  time. 

[     154     ]  "'Tis 


"  Queen  Katherine 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


"  'T  is  naught,  't  is  naught,"  she  replied,  striv 
ing  to  staunch  the  tears  that  trickled  down  o'er 
her  pearl-beaded  stomacher.  "'Tis  but  the 
King  hath  given  me  warning,  and  I  must  leave 
when  that  my  month  is  up." 

"Ah ! "  said  I,  sore  concerned,  "  and  who 
cometh  in  thy  place?" 

"  Methinks  Anne  Boleyn,"  she  answered  pen 
sively. 

"  So  ?  A  fair  wench  and  a  gay  one,"  said  I 
heartily,  but  making  observance  of  the  anger  in 
her  either  eye,  I  added  hastily,  "but  she  hath 
the  fiend's  own  temper  and  is  as  ignorant  as  a 
duncecap." 

Queen  Katherine  smiled  gladly. 

"  'T  is  so,"  she  cried,  "  and  a  direful  dance  she 
will  lead  the  King,  methinks  !  'Faith, 't  would 
be  fun  to  see  the  sport." 

"Whither  goest?"  I  asked,  though  my 
thoughts  were  even  already  welcoming  the  com 
ing,  while  speeding  the  parting  Queen. 

"  I  know  not,"  she  replied,  "  and  of  a  troth,  I 
[  156  ]  care 


"Queen  Anne" 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


care  less,  save  that  I  grieve  to  leave  thee,  my 
Princeling." 

"  Nay,  trouble  not  o'er  that,  fair  lady,"  quoth 
I,  "  for  I  care  not  a  doit.  But,  an  thou  wilt,  of 
thy  goodness,  leave  me  thy  ruby  tiara,  for  a  gift 
to  my  future  bride." 

Now  though  sour  of  temper  and  vinegarish 
of  aspect  was  Queen  Katherine,  yet  was  she  of 
right  generous  heart,  and  all  gladly  shone  het 
countenance  as  she  ran  to  her  jewel-case  to  fetch 
the  trinket.  This,  then,  was  how  I  happened  to 
have  the  ruby  tiara  in  my  possession,  and  ere  it 
crowned  the  fair  head  of  my  lovely  Berenice, 
'twas  fated  to  bring  about  many  thrilling  ad 
ventures. 

But  of  that,  anon.  My  task  is  faithfully  to 
chronicle  the  events  of  a  calm,  well-spent  life, 
and  I  may  not  anticipate. 

So  Katherine  went,  and  Anne  Boleyn  came, 
a  mad,  merry  witch  as  might  ever  be,  and  King 
Henry  would  oft   sorely   suffer   from  the  mis 
chievous  pranks  she  elected  to  play  upon  him. 
[     158     ]  "Thou 


"  The  palace  rebuilt" 


ABENIKI  CALDWELL 


"  Thou  art  my  football,"  she  would  say  to 
him,  and  rolling  the  monarch  upon  the  floor,  she 
would  kick  him  with  the  jewelled  toe  of  her 
dainty  slipper,  and  laugh  like  the  chime  of  a 
Chinese  gong. 

Then  would  King  Henry  pick  himself  up,  and 
vow  that  she  was  a  good-for-naught  jade  and 
should  be  beheaded.  But  that  he  threatened 
full  several  times  before  the  execution  really 
occurred. 

Yet  so  was  Queen  Anne  of  a  mood  to  carry 
all  before  her.  The  very  palace,  forsooth,  must 
be  all  unbuilt  and  builded  again. 

"  T  is  but  indifferent  fine,"  quoth  she,  "  and 
ill  befits  a  Queen  of  mine  own  rare  fairness." 

And  'faith  the  jade  spoke  of  a  truth,  and  the 
old  Norman  structure  fell,  to  rise  again  a  noble 
monument  to  the  yclept  Queen  Anne  architec 
ture. 

By  the  rood  of  St.  Winnipeg,  well  do  I  re 
member  the  night  we  banqueted  first  in  the  new 
dining-hall.  Loud  rang  the  rafters  with  our 
[  160  ]  merry 


THE   SIX-SIDED    SQUARE 

merry  jests  and  japes  as  the  fat,  frolicsome  King, 
all  uncrowned  and  unmonarched,  pitted  his  wit 
against  mine  own  in  making  brave  and  bonny 
toasts  to  her  dimpled,  mischievous  Majesty. 


"Brave  and  bonny  toasts  to  her  dimpled,  mischievous  Majesty 


CHAPTER  IX 


THE   COUNTERFEIT   TICKET 

BOUNDS,  but  I  was  a  roistering  Prince,  and 
merry.  With  pibroch  and  gorget  I  led  my 
courtiers  a  lively  dance,  and  full  well  they  liked 
it.  Daily  the  welkin  rang,  and  anon  the  curfew 
tolled,  but  Prince  Abeniki  was  ever  the  darling 
of  the  court.  I  wound  and  unwound  my  bugle- 
horn,  and  my  huntsmen  trolled  catches  as  we 
hounded  the  hounds. 

"  But,  marry,"  quoth  I  to  myself,  "  't  is  time 
I  should  marry.  As  the  Eastern  proverb  hath 
it,  Ignoti  nulla  Cupido,  which  is  to  say,  'No 
one  ignores  Cupid.'  And  by  Cupid,  a  royal 
Prince  hath  a  fair  show  at  the  hand  of  even  a 
Lady  Berenice  of  Bois-Bracy." 

And  so  it  came  to  pass  that  I  set  forth  with 
all  speed  to  seek  again  my  lovely  lady  of  the 
lilac  eyes. 

I  gat  me  together  a  royal  retinue  of  surpassing 

splendor,  and,  gaily  prancing,  we  rode  forth  our 

way  through   the   fastnesses  of  the   forest  and 

[     162     ]  came 


A  royal  retinue  of  surpassing  splendor 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


came  anon  to  the  summit  of  a  distant  valley 
where  the  mountain-tops  lay  in  level  luxuriance 
along  the  dusty  highway. 

As  I  gazed  silently  upon  the  noble  castle  of 
Bois-Bracy,  which  was  hidden  from  view  by  a 

projecting  aper 
ture  in  the  hori- 
zon  above, 
a  t  hou  s  and 
thoughts  seethed 
in  my  bubbling 
brain.  Yet  even 
now  were  we  fast 
by  the  postern 

moat,  and  I  must  needs  alight  and  make  intent 
of  admittance. 

"  Hola ! "  I  cried,  and  wound  all  lustily  my 
bugle-horn. 

Back  whizzed  the  bolts,  down  came  the  bridge 
with  a  clang,  and  out  rushed  the  Baron  of  Bois- 
Bracy  with  a  ringing  shout  of  greeting.     Now, 
by  my  head,  never,  I  trow,  was  such  a  royal 
[     164     ]  welcome 


/  wouttd  ana  unwound  my  buyle-horn  " 


THE   COUNTERFEIT   TICKET 


welcome  accorded  to  any  man.  Flags  were 
flung,  bells  were  rung,  harps  were  strung,  and 
songs  were  sung. 

And  all,  forsooth,  in  honor  of  Prince  Abeniki, 
the  pseudo  son  of  a  quondam  father,  the  heir- 
apparent  of  the 
good  and  pious 
King  Henry  VIII. 

Minding  me  of 
my  high  position, 
I  stood  all  supercil 
ious  on  the  thresh 
old  and  sniffed  the 


Down  came  the  bridge  with  a  clang ' 


air. 

"Noble  Prince," 
said  the  Baron, 
bowing  low  before  me,  "  prithee,  disdain  not  to 
accept  the  humble  cheer  our  castle  affords. 
Fain  would  I  offer  a  hospitality  worthy  of  thy 
royal  rank,  but  alas,  these  rude  appointments  are 
my  best.  Yet  deign,  I  beseech  thee,  so  to  de 
mean  thyself  as  to  enter  my  paltry  hut,  and 
[  165  ]  hallow 


ABENIKI  CALDWELL 


hallow  it  forever  with  the  memory  of  thy  noble 
presence." 

Still  of  a  sneering  smirk,  I  gazed  abstractedly 
at  the  Baron  as  though  I  heeded  him  not.  And 
yet,  by  the  great  Horned  Toad,  he  was  of  im 
posing  effect. 

Robed  in  a  tunic  of  azure  green,  furred  with 
ermine  and  slashed  with  scarlet  sage,  standing 
eight  feet  high  in  his  buskined  sandals,  and  bear 
ing  over  each  shoulder  a  boar-spear  studded  with 
great  jewels,  he  was  a  brave  representative  of  the 
middle-class  Baron  of  his  day. 

Rude  and  untutored  of  address,  as  might  he 
well  be  who  had  never  wandered  from  his  own 
mural  banks  to  visit  the  adjacent  firmament,  yet 
withal  was  he  the  father  of  my  fair  pet,  my  cos 
set,  my  duck,  the  lovely,  lively  Berenice. 

"  Peace,  peace,  humble  Baron,"  quoth  I,  all 
lordly- wise,  "  sith  it  be  of  a  necessity,  I  enter  thy 
hovel.  And  this  with  purpose  of  conferring  on 
thy  daughter,  the  Lady  Berenice  of  Bois-Bracy, 
my  royal  hand  in  marriage." 

[     166     ]  "My 


THE   COUNTERFEIT   TICKET 

"My  son!"  cried  the  Baron,  falling  on  my 
neck,  but  by  good  chance  cutting  not  off  my 
head  with  his  bristling  boar-spears. 

"  Now,  by  my  faith,"  quoth  I  to  myself,  "  thus 
have  I  gained  three  fathers  in  a  rapid  succession. 
But  it  boots  not,  for  't  is  oft  a  Prince's  whim  to 
make  a  collection  of  this  or  that,  and  I  may  yet 
make  farther  acquirement." 

"  Would'st  see  thy  betrothed  bride  ?  "  asked 
the  Baron,  dancing  about  in  his  excitement  and 
delightment  until  his  wig  was  awry  and  his 
doublet  undoubled. 

"  Aye,  that  would  I,  and  with  all  haste ! "  I 
stormed,  and  then  I  stamped  and  swashed  about 
in  a  fury,  being  desirous  to  inform  them  of  my 
hot,  choleric  temper,  as  is  ever  befitting  a  Prince 
of  the  Blood. 

"  Why  tarrieth  she  ? "  I  fumed.  "  Is  she  per 
chance  philandering  with  some  rustic  swain,  all 
unwitting  of  the  royal  honor  awaiting  her? 
Zounds !  by  the  hiss  of  the  sissing  serpents, 
why  cometh  she  not  ?  Have  a  care,  Baron  of 
[  167  ]  Bois-Bracy, 


ABENIKI  CALDWELL 


Bois-Bracy,  or  I  may  repent  me  of  this   fool's 
errand,  and  take  otherwhere  my  betrothal  gifts." 

"  Prithee,  my  royal  master,  say  not  so,"  pleaded 
the  Baron,  "  my  daughter  cometh  e'en  now. 
She  stayed  but  to  deck  herself  in  fit  garb  to  meet 
so  royal  a  lover.  Ha !  she  approacheth." 

I  turned,  and  by  the  beard  of  St.  Valentine, 
what  a  sight  met  my  gaping  gaze  ! 

It  was  in  truth  my  lovely  love,  my  bonny 
Baroness  Berenice,  the  idol  of  my  heart,  the  pine 
apple  of  my  eye. 

Only  a  quill  from  a  bird  o'  paradise  might 
make  a  pen  fit  to  describe  my  charmer's  charms. 

In  stature  &  petite  Amazon,  the  Lady  Berenice 
bore  herself  with  a  stately  grace  as  of  an  Aphro 
dite  crossing  the  Delaware. 

Her  countenance,  so  passing  fair,  was  of  pure 
Saxon  blonde,  and  her  olive  skin  and  beetling 
eyebrows  betokened  a  disposition  both  sweet  and 
mild. 

Her  hair  was  like  the  red,  red  rose,  and,  braided 
with  pearls,  hung  adown  her  shoulder  blades. 

[     168     ]  Garbed 


Accept  from  my  humble  haughty 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


Garbed  in  a  kirtle  of  pink  plush,  and  followed 
by  her  lady-in-waiting,  she  approached,  all  tim 
idly,  into  my  august  presence. 

"  Ineffable  Flower  of  Femininity,"  I  began,  in 
my  plain,  simple  way,  "  behold  before  thee  a 
suitor  of  splendor  and  superiority.  I,  son  and 
scion  of  King  Henry  VIII.,  royal  heir  of  Mother 
England  and  Farther  India,  nobly  and  magnani 
mously  offer  betrothal  to  thee,  oh,  Baroness 
Berenice  of  Bois-Bracy.  Accept  from  my 
humble  haughty  hand  this  priceless  present  of  a 
ruby  tiara,  whose  gems  were  mined  for  thee, 
mine  own,  by  me,  the  mine  owner.  Oh, 
Lady  of  Countless  Charms,  take  me  for  thy 
Count ;  oh,  Peerless  Beauty,  accept  me  as 
thy  Peer;  oh,  Matchless  One,  let  me  be  thy 
match!  "| 

As  I  paused  for  a  reply,  I  perceived  that  my 
eloquence  must  have  struck  her  forcibly. 

Her  color  fled,  and  she  dropped  her  eyes  ;  then 
her  face  fell,  and  in  a  moment  she  completely 
lost  her  head. 

[    170    ]  Howbeit, 


Ah,  that  walk  through  the  wild  wood! 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


Howbeit,  this  disturbed  me  not,  for  I  pur 
posed  myself  to  be  the  head  of  the  family,  and 
apparently  unheeding  how  she  had  gone  to  pieces, 
I  took  her  apart  and  begged  her  to  pull  herself 
together. 

Ah,  that  walk  through  the  wild  wood  !  E'en 
now  my  memory  lingers  lovingly  on  its  happy, 
childish  joy.  My  Berenice  hung  trustfully  on 
my  manly  arm,  her  violet  velvet  veil  falling  in 
graceful  folds  adown  her  satin  skirt. 

All  playfully  we  plucked  flowers  for  a  nose 
gay,  and  the  village  children  gambolled  gaily  in 
our  path. 

Life  unrolled  before  us  a  dulcet  dream  of 
buoyant  beauty,  and  the  fair  outlook  of  my 
forthcoming  future  roused  my  infuriated  mind  to 
a  tranquillity  like  that  of  heaven. 

We  saw  the  feathered  cattle  grazing  on  the 
gilded  domes  of  the  ocean,  and  in  bucolic  glee  we 
watched  the  tiny  yellow  chicks  run  in  and  out  of 
their  coup  de  plume. 

But  alas,  aye,  thrice  alas  for  the  happy  hopes 
[     172     ]  of 


"  Disguised  as  a  Quaker  priest 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


of  youth !  Even  as  we  meandered,  recking 
naught  of  evil  portent,  Nemesis  tracked  our  wake. 
Low  lurking  behind  us  sneaked  the  slinking 
form  and  ribald,  opprobrious  countenance  of  the 
villain  of  this  tale. 

By  my  sooth,  I  do  mightily  hesitate  to  intro 
duce  a  rascal  so  sorrily  besmirched  with  all 
iniquity ;  for  if  ever  existed  a  bad  man,  wrong 
doer,  worker  of  evil,  sinner,  scoundrel,  villain, 
miscreant,  caitiff,  wretch,  reptile,  viper,  serpent, 
scamp,  scapegrace,  reprobate,  rough,  rowdy,  ruf 
fian,  bully,  blackguard,  varlet,  kern,  lown,  loon, 
runnion,  outcast,  and  vagabond,  't  was  Habakkuk 
Hobbs  of  Harwich. 

Disguised  as  a  Quaker  priest  he  frequented 
Marston  Moor  in  the  murk  o'  midnight,  and 
many  a  luckless  wight  rued  the  day  when  he 
fell  unwarily  into  the  hands  of  "this  fell  foe. 

I,  all  unwitting  of  danger,  felt  no  tittle  of  fear, 

and  right  merrily  we  whiled  away  the  days  of 

my  tarrying  at  the  castle  of  Bois-Bracy.     Oft 

would  I  play  at  cards  with  the  Baron  ;  and  anon, 

[     174     ]  when 


"  Oft  would  I  play  at  cards  with  the  Baron' 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


when  his  good  mulled  ale  had  made  our  heads 

and  heels  of  more  lightness,  would  we,  in  tricksy 

sport,  dance  a  fandango  o'er  the  finished  flagons. 

"  Now,  by  the  Mass,  thou  art  a  bully  knight," 

the  old  Baron  would  cry, 
all  a-pant  with  his  lusty 
swaggering,  "  and  right 
well  do  I  joy  in  the  fel 
lowship  of  my  pleasant 
son-in-law." 

But  though  all  gaily 
sped  the  days  in  boister 
ous  roistering,  yet  oft 
in  the  weary  watches  of 

the  night  came  monstrous  fears  and  horrors  to 
me-ward.  Ever  and  anon  wtould  I  bound  up 
right  in  my  bed,  sick  with  affright  for  that  I 
beheld  a  fearsome  vision. 

And  ever  was  this  weird  vision  the  same  ;  ever 

was  it  the  grim,  grimy  face  and  long,  lank  form  of 

Habakkuk  Hobbs,  riding  upon  a  pale  white  hors 

concours,  which  is  but  Spanish  for  a  race-horse. 

[     176     ]  To 


"  Ever  and  anon  would  I  bound 
upright  in  my  bed 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


To  me  spake  he  with  an  ill  tongue,  saying: 
"Ha,  Prince!  Ha,  Prince!" 

"  The  saints  shield  us ! "  cried  I,  sore  afeard. 
"What  portendeth  this  vile  visitation?" 

A  rattling  laugh  resounded  hollowly  through 
the  darkness,  and  my  flesh  crept  until  I  found 
myself  on  the  other  side  of  the  room,  shivering 
anear  the  chimney-corner. 

"  Ha,  Prince  ! "  went  on  the  gibing,  jeering, 
yet  withal  gibbering  voice,  "think'st  thou  to 
wed  the  lady  whom  thou  call'st  Berenice  ?  Nay, 
lad,  —  nay,  fond  lover,  not  she,  not  she !  Ha,  ha  ! 
Ha,  ha!" 

The  vision  shook  and  chuckled  in  fiendish 
glee,  and  so  wroth  was  I  that  I  cried  in  raging 
anger : 

"  This  is  a  foul  hearing,  and  thou  art  a  lying 
knave  !  Begone  ! " 

He  bewent  speedily,  and  as  he  vanished  I 
heard  him  again  calling,  "  Not  she,  not  she ! 
Ha,  ha!" 

When  that  I  recounted  to  Lady  Berenice  of 
[  178  ]  the 


"  Habakkuk  Hobbs,  riding  upon  a  pale  white  hors  concours  " 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


the  vision  she  made  ever  much  sorrow  and  dole 
out  of  all  measure. 

"  A  villain  and  a  traitor  is  Habakkuk  Hobbs," 
quoth  she,  "  but,  alas,  and  alack-a-day,  he  speak- 
eth  ever  of  a  truth.  Oft  hath  he  foretold  of 
fortune,  and  by  the  rood,  aye  followeth  the  for 
tune  his  word.  Woe,  woe  is  me  !  " 

"  Nay,  Love,"  quoth  I,  "  never  shall  his  knavish 
trickery  perform  ill  to  us.  Sithence  thou  art 
my  betrothed,  naught  can  work  our  undoing, 
and  'tis  yet  but  a  se'nnight  ere  I  take  thee 
to  my  ancestral  home,  the  fair  palace  of  good 
King  Henry  VIII.  There  'mid  feasting  and 
revelry  shall  we  be  wed,  and  none  shall  say  us 
nay.  Come,  Love,  let  us  meander  by  the  brook 
let  that  rippleth  in  the  grove." 

Forth  we  wended,  my  lovely  Berenice  and  I ; 
arm  in  arm  walked  we  through  the  shady  dell, 
when  of  a  sudden  appeared  in  our  path  a  strange 
figure. 

'Twas  an  ancient,  withered  hag,  whose  un 
kempt  locks  hung  like  writhing  snakes  about  her 
[  180  ]  bony 


She  pointed  her  skinny  forefinger  at  me  and  groaned  all  hollowly 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


bony  shoulders.  Garbed  in  a  ragged,  untidy 
gown,  which  was,  forsooth,  better  than  nothing, 
she  pointed  her  skinny  forefinger  at  me  and 
groaned  all  hollowly  :  "  Beware  !  beware  !  " 

I  clasped  the  hand  of  my  Berenice  for  support, 
and  murmured  faintly  :  "  Aye." 

All  unheeding,  the  old  crone  continued  : 

"  Beware,  brave  knight,  and  fair  lady  !  Listen 
to  the  Gipsy's  warning  !  Dangers  await  thee  ; 
dungeons  yawn  for  thee.  Thy  doom  is  fallen. 
Thy  fate  is  sealed.  But  hearken,  ere  too  late,  to 
the  voice  of  the  Gipsy.  Beware,  ah,  ever  beware 
of  Habakkuk  Hobbs  ! " 

Now  though  I  had  lon^  beworn  of  this  vile 
villain,  after  the  Gipsy's  warning  I  bewore  more 
stoutly  than  ever. 


[     182     ] 


CHAPTER  X 


THE   ISABEL   SCARF 


i-M  O W  beshrew  me,  but 't  was  a  gay  and  glitter 
ing  cavalcade  that  set  off  for  the  King's  palace. 

So  much  of  the  journey  as  was  to  be  accom 
plished  by  water  we  traversed  in  a  gilded  shallop 
manned  by  a  crew  of  Polish  galley-slaves. 

As,  stripped  to  the  waist,  they  plied  their  oars, 
we  might  almost  be  said  to  have  scudded  under 
bare  poles. 

Yarely  we  flew  along,  and  in  merry  mood  I 
trolled  catches,  or,  for  I  was  ever  quick  at 
repertoire,  jested  gaily  with  tire  Baron.  Anon 
I  paced  the  deck  in  the  company  of  my 
betrothed,  and  when  that  we  might  be  con 
cealed  by  a  mast  or  a  tops'l,  then  kist  we  with 
all  tenderness. 

And  so  came  we  at  long  last  to  the  palace, 
and  there  were  we  given  good  greeting  by  my 
father,  Henry  VIII.,  and  his  new  wife,  she  that 
was  Jane  Seymour. 

"  Ha,"  said  I  to  my  Berenice,  when  that  we 
[  183  ]  were 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


were  alone,  "  I  like  not  the  complexion  of  my 
newest  mother." 

"  Taith  and  't  is  easily  changed,  then,"  quoth 
my  Berenice,  who  was  ever  observant. 

"Nay,  wench,"  quoth  I,  "but  of  a  verity,  I 
smell  treason.  Queen  Jane  hath  an  evil  gleam 
in  her  eye  when  she  looketh  on  thee,  and  I  fear 
me  it  bodeth  us  ill." 

"  Beseech  you,  let  us  then  flee,"  quoth  Berenice, 
who  was  ready  of  wit  and  quick  at  contrivance. 

"'T would  be  wise,  perchance,"  said  I,  "but 
we  have  no  other  shelter ;  and  though  life  in  a 
roofless  hut  would  be  a  joy  with  thee  to  share  it, 
yet  we  have  not  the  hut  at  command." 

"  Thou  speakest  of  a  truth,"  said"  Berenice, 
sagely  nodding  her  bonny  head  and  glancing 
admiringly  round  at  the  slippery  stained-glass 
floors  and  gay  curtained  chandeliers  that  decked 
the  royal  palace. 

Alas,  even  as  we  thus  parleyed,  peril  played 
about  our  path  and  direful  danger  danced  around 
our  doom. 

[     184     ]  For 


THE   ISABEL   SCARF 


For  all  suddenly  appeared  Habakkuk  Hobbs 
of  Harwich,  and  demanded  audience  with  King 
Henry  VIII. 

"  Now,  marry  beshrew,"  thought  I,  "  there 's 
something  toward.  It  liketh  me  not  that  the 
ruffian  thus  folio weth  us.  But  't  is  up  to  me  to 
compass  his  despatchment,  and  gadzooks  !  by  my 
trusty  broadsword,  he 's  dead,  easy  ! " 

Thus  musing,  I  sauntered  carelessly  into  the 
throne-room,  where  my  fat  father  held  discourse 
with  the  villainous  Habakkuk. 

There,  to  my  surprise,  I  found  the  King  in  a 
fierce  anger,  and  nigh  raging  into  a  fit. 

The  blood  had  flown  to  his  royal  face,  making 
it  of  a  vivid  blue  hue,  and  agog  with  ire  at  the 
vile  interloper  who  had  thus  disturbed  my  lovely 
sire,  I  flew  at  Hobbs  and  made  thrust  at  him 
with  my  ramekin. 

"Peace,  rash  youth,"  said  Habakkuk  in  low, 
shrill  tones,  as  he  parried  my  blade,  "  I  bring  evil 
news,  aye,  but  by  the  Oriflamme  and  Coriander 
't  is  true  and  none  may  disprove  it.  Ha,  ha ! " 

[     185     ]  His 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


His  fiendish  laugh  rang  out  like  the  chuckle  of 
a  dissolute  devil,  and  maddened  by  his  insolent 
nose,  I  broke  my  arblast  over  his  fool's  pate. 

"  Helen  Fury  ! "  he  cried,  "  now  by  the  beard 
of  a  lobster  shalt  thou  know  the  worst !  Listen, 
thou  pibroch-playing,  sack-guzzling  Prince ;  thy 
beworshipped  Bride,  thy  dainty  duck  is  no 
Baroness,  no  Berenice,  but  of  a  truth  she  is 
Molly  Mog,  the  Innkeeper's  daughter.  Ha, 
ha!" 

Blinded  with  rage,  I  called  for  an  eye-opener, 
and  as  by  its  aid  I  saw  double,  I  found  no  diffi 
culty  in  hitting  one  or  other  of  the  two  Hobbses 
that  confronted  me. 

"Twin  villains!"  I  cried,  "take  that!  and 
that ! "  and  hitting  them  both,  I  laid  them  pros 
trate  on  the  floor. 

Then  turning,  I  faced  King  Henry  and  the 
situation.  "  Daddyking,"  said  I,  for  I  was  ever 
fond  of  the  old  man,  "  bother  not  thy  bald  head 
on  the  troubles  of  thy  son  and  heir.  I  trow  yon 
fool  lied  in  his  throat,  but,  if  be  that  my 
[  186  ]  betrothed 


THE   ISABEL   SCARF 


betrothed  is  really  Molly  Mog,  then  the  glorious 
glimmer  of  my  glittering  future  is  indeed  dimmed 
and  damned." 

"Oh,  luddy,  fuddy,  fuddikins!"  groaned  the 
distracted  King.  "  Woe  is  me,  and  lack-a-daisy  ! 
Never  could  I  drink  thy  nuptial  health  across  a 
bar  sinister.  Alas  !  alas  !  " 

But  I  cheered  him  bravely  with  assumed  hope 
fulness,  and  set  off,  laggardly  enough,  to  apprise 
my  loved  one  of  her  lowly  origin.  An  evil  bell 
is  quickly  tolled,  and  when  that  I  had  faithfully 
recounted  the  villain's  innuendo,  my  Berenice 
thus  spake : 

"  Abeniki,  Hero  of  my  heart,  Lothario  of  my 
life,  'tis  of  a  sooth  an  evil  tale  thou  bringest. 
Yet  an  it  be  true,  then  is  lowly  Molly  Mog  no 
fair  mate  for  a  Prince  of  the  Blood.  Do  there 
fore  my  bidding." 

"  Fair  one,"  quoth  I,  kneeling  all  gracefully  at 

her  fairy  feet,  "  thine  is  it  to  advise,  mine  to  obey, 

for  well  do  I  ken  thy  brawn  of  brain,  and  full 

well  know  I  thy  worth  of  wit.     Say  soothly  then, 

[     187     ]  my 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


my  fair  sage,  and  it  shall  go  hard  with  me,  but  I 
follow  thy  wise  word." 

A  smile  wreathed  the  lips  of  my  liege  lady, 
albeit,  alas,  't  was  but  a  forced  smile,  as  it  had 
been  done  up  in  a  curl-paper  o'ernight,  and  with 
a  tear  rolling  adown  her  patrician  nose  she  said : 

"  Hark,  thee,  then,  but  confide  not  in  Queen 
Katherine,  for  ever  she  seeketh  to  do  us  hurt. 
Betake  thyself,  therefore,  with  all  speed  to  Oak- 
ingham,  and  there  inquire  for  the  sign  of  the 
Purple  Cow.  Once  at  the  Inn,  say  naught  to 
no  one  until  thou  shalt  have  hearing  of  old 
Moses  Mog,  the  Innkeeper.  He  will  tell  thee 
all,  and  at  his  avisement  go  thou  thy  further 
way." 

As  I  had  ever  confidence  in  the  wisdom  of  my 
Berenice,  I  strode  me  forward  at  once  to  proceed 
at  her  order. 

But  ere  I  hasted  forth  I  bade  farewell  to  the 

assembled  family.      Struck  with   surprise,  they 

showed  blank  faces  at  the  news  of  my  going,  but 

all  unheeding  I  gave  them  good  den,  and  made  off. 

[     188     ]  I 


THE   ISABEL   SCARF 


I  skirted  the  forest  warily,  for  unseen  foes 
were  visible  in  its  dark  and  dingly  depths.  But 
as  1  pelted  pell-mell  through  the  brushwood, 
and  came  by  a  piece  of  open,  I  stopped,  aghast 
with  hideous  horror,  for  in  my  path  stood  a  stal 
wart  form,  none  other  than  the  scurvy  losel, 
Hobbs  ! 

Though  I  was  all  unarmed,  and  my  fierce  an 
tagonist  carried  bowie,  spear,  and  pistols,  yet  was 
I  no  white-livered  milksop,  and  I  had  at  him 
bravely. 

"  Villain,"  I  hissed  atween  my  tightly  closed 
lips,  "thou'rt  a  dead  man!  Fool,  to  thine  ori 
sons,  ere  yet  I  strike  thee  thy  final  blow !  " 

Habakkuk  Hobbs  clicked  as  of  old  his  de 
moniac  chuckle. 

"  Ha ! "  he  sneered,  "  wilt  kill  me,  Sirrah  ? 
And  how,  prithee?  With  thy  little  finger,  or 
with  a  twig  from  yon  sycamore  tree?" 

Now  albeit  I  scorned  the  fellow's  jeers,  yet 
withal  were  they  well  chosen,  for  trusty  blade 
had  I  none,  nor  was  like  to  have. 

[     189     ]  But 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


"  These  I  grasped  right  stoutly  " 

But  even  as  I  paused  to  listen  to  his  words 
saw  I  my  love,  my  Berenice,  hasting  to  me  with 
concealed  weapons. 

[     190     ]  These 


THE   ISABEL   SCARF 


These  I  grasped  right  stoutly,  and  slashing  the 
base  villain  until  he  was  as  full  of  stabs  as  my 
lady's  pincushion,  I 
tossed  him  over  a  fence 
into  a  thicket  full  two 
leagues  distant  and 
turned  me  to  my  fair 
rescuer. 

"Damosel,"  I  said, 
dropping  on  one  knee, 
and  then  on  the  other, 
"'twere  well  I  were 
here  to  use  these  un 
gainly  weapons  on 
yonder  brute.  Else 
had'st  thou  been  all 
unable  to  protect  thy 

life  from  the  fierce   foe.  "  I  tossed  him  over  a  fence 

into  a  thicket " 

But  sithence  thou  art 

safe,  fain  would  I  know  why  thou  walkest  in  the 
forest  alone  and  unattended.  Methinks  't  is  un 
seemly  in  so  young  and  fair  a  lady." 

[     191     ]  The 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


The  rose  rose  to  her  pale  cheeks,  and  with 
modest  mien  the  Lady  Berenice  replied : 

"  I  but  followed  thee,  my  lord,  lest  thou 
should'st  desire  aught  that  thou  had'st  for 
gotten." 

"  Aye,  't  is  well,"  said  I  half-abstractedly, "  of  a 
truth  I  did  neglect  me  to  bring  any  weapon ;  but 
't  is  naught,  I  could  have  conquered  the  villain 
unaided.  Howbeit  sith  't  is  here,  I  will  keep  it 
by  me,  and  do  thou,  my  love,  return  to  the  safety 
and  shelter  of  my  father's  palace." 

"  Thou  wilt  come  there  to  me  anon  ? "  asked  the 
Lady  Berenice,  as  she  gazed  wistfully  at  her  lover. 

"  Aye,  that  will  I,"  replied  Abeniki  Caldwell. 
"As  the  Eastern  proverb  saith,  'Woman  is 
made  for  man  to  come  back  to/  ere  the  crescent 
moon  above  us  shall  have  waxed  and  waned,  I 
will  return  —  retur-r-r-n." 

With  a  farewell  kiss,  Abeniki  Caldwell  leaped 
to  horse  and  dashed  away  into  the  fastnesses  of 
the  distant  hardwoodlands,  and  the  Lady  Bere 
nice  of  Bois-Bracy  sadly  and  silently  wended  her 
[  192  ]  way 


"  Moses  Mog  rose  from  his  easy-chair" 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


way  back  to  the  palace  of  her  mayhap  father-in- 
law,  Henry  VIII. 

Now  turn  we  to  the  jolly  Inn  above  whose 
hospitable  portal  flapped  and  rattled  the  sign  of 
the  Purple  Cow. 

Without,  a  wide  expanse  of  snowy  wold ; 
within,  a  jolly,  roisterous,  boisterous  crew  of 
merry  revellers,  led  in  all  their  jocund  mirth  by 
the  master  spirit,  the  rollicking,  frolicking  Inn 
keeper,  Moses  Mog. 

To  him,  seated  in  his  easy-chair,  came  dashing 
our  hero,  Abeniki  Caldwell. 

"  Ha ! "  cried  the  newcomer,  entering  the 
tavern,  "wilt  be  a  father  to  me?  Forsooth,  I 
am  but  making  a  collection  of  that  same  article." 

Moses  Mog,  all  unused  to  such  sudden  and 
unexpected  demands  upon  his  paternity,  rose 
from  his  easy-chair,  dropping  his  spectacles  the 
while,  and  replied : 

"  Hail,  and  who  art  thou  ?     A  good  fellow  I 

trow,  for  that  thou  laughest  right  merrily.     The 

Purple  Cow  ne'er  turneth  such  from  its  doors. 

[     194     ]  But 


The  mayhap  mother  of  my  fair  fragile  love  " 


ABENIKI  CALDWELL 


But  to  father  thee !  Ha !  for  all  I  wot  thou 
may'st  be  the  Arch-Fiend  himself  in  disguise." 

"Nor  ill-disguised,  neither,"  quoth  Abeniki 
Caldwell,  "  for  an  I  look  like  the  devil,  say  me 
so  to  my  face." 

"  Nay,  nay,"  quoth  Moses  Mog,  "  I  but  jested. 
Sit  thee,  sit  thee,  fair  sir,  and  o'er  a  pottle  of 
sack  will  we  yet  understand  one  another.  How 
art  thou  called  ? " 

"  I  am  Abeniki  Caldwell,  good  sir,"  quoth  I, 
all  unwishing  to  affright  him  by  my  princely 
title,  "  and  I  but  called  to  inquire  concerning 
thy  daughter,  one  Molly,  of  fair  face  and  gentle 
temper." 

"  Molly  ! "  quotha,  and  his  voice  was  as  the 
quavering  of  a  tremolo  pipe.  "Peace,  peace, 
man,  I  will  but  call  her  mother." 

At  his  summons  appeared  his  wife,  a  buxom, 
brawny  dame,  and  my  heart  sank  as  I  beheld 
before  me  the  mayhap  mother  of  my  fair  fragile 
love,  my  so-called  Baroness  Berenice  1 

[    196    ] 


CHAPTER  XI 


THE  IDES   OF  MARCH 


JL  EA,  my  young  sir,"  quoth  Moses  Mog,  in 
answer  to  my  queries,  "yea,  of  a  truth,  the 
Baroness  Berenice  of  Bois-Bracy  is  our  daughter 
Molly ;  and  a  bonny  braw  maid,  withal.  Well 
do  I  mind  how  she  used  to  serve  good  ale  across 
this  same  bar.  But  along  came  the  Baron,  and, 
being  childless,  he  begged  Molly  for  his  daughter. 
I  loved  the  wench,  and  had  no  eye  save  for 
her  good  advancement.  So,  saith  I,  '  Take  her, 
Baron,  and  aye  be  kind  to  her.'  He  promised 
by  his  head  to  love  and  cherish  her  as  his  own, 
and  I  let  her  go.  Hast  news  of  her,  young 
sir  ? " 

Now  wras  I  sore  distraught,  for  though  I  loved 
the  lady  in  question,  yet  was  Molly  Mog,  an 
Innkeeper's  daughter,  a  parlous  untoward  match 
for  a  Prince  of  the  Blood. 

And   withal,  as   I  viewed   Moses  Mog,  and 

Betsey  his  wife,  methought  my  Lady  Berenice 

favored  her  parents,  and  I  remembered  me  that 

[     197     ]  her 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


her  features  were  but  of  a  lowly  type.     "  Aye," 
thought  I,  deeply  pondering,  "  she  hath  a  red 


Moses  Mog  " 

face,  bedeckt  with  freckles,  and  of  a  truth,  she 
squinteth." 

And  yet,  by  my  troth,  so  strong  are  Love's 

chains,   and   so  well  forged   his  fetters,  that  I 

might  not  tear  the  image  of  my  Berenice  from 

[     198     ]  my 


THE   IDES   OF   MARCH 


my  heart,  nay,  not  though  she  were  a  thousand 
times  a  Mog  !  Nay,  though  my  ancestral  hopes 
were  dashed  to  the  dust,  though  untold  miseries 
and  humiliations  were  my  portion,  though  my 
noble  and  royal  fathers  disowned  me,  yet  would 
I  cleave  to  my  liege  lady,  my  leal,  loyal  love,  my 
Berenice !  I  quoth  as  much  to  the  Mogs,  and 
they  upheld  me  in  my  resolve. 

"  Gadzooks  !  "  cried  Moses  Mog,  "  thou  'rt  a 
fine,  strapping  youth,  a  very  pattern  of  a  Prince  ; 
and  a  braw,  lively  wench  like  my  Molly  is  none 
too  good  for  thee.  My  blessings  on  thee  both, 
and  when  the  nuptial  feast  shall  be  spread,  Moses 
Mog  and  his  Betsey  shall  join  the  merry  throng 
and  make  the  royal  palace  resound  with  laughter 
and  jest.  And  for  a  marriage  portion  will  I  give 
thee  an  hundred  butts  of  sack  and  an  hundred 
pottles  of  nut-brown  ale." 

"  Aye,"  quoth  old  Betsey  Mog,  "  and  I  will 

bestow  on  my  daughter  such  a  setting-out  as 

may  well  become  the  bride  of  a  Prince.    A  linsey 

gown    shall   she   have   for  feast-days,  and   two 

[     199     ]  sacking 


ABENIKI  CALDWELL 


sacking  slips  for  work-a-days.     Aye,  thus  richly 
shall  she  be  furnished  to  wed  a  noble." 

"Peace,  peace,  good  mother,"  quoth  I,  for 
well  did  I  perceive  she  knew  not  whereof  she 
spake.  "  Come  thou  to  the  banqueting,  for  at 
our  nuptials  shall  the  palace  gates  be  thrown 
wide  to  all,  but  of  a  troth,  I  will  the  bride's 
fitting-out  provide.  Sarsenet  shall  she  have, 
and  taffetas,  aye,  and  jewels,  —  all  these  shall 
her  Baron-father  give  as  dowry." 

"  Aye,  so  be  it,"  quoth  Betsey  Mog  content 
edly.  "  Then  will  I  but  keep  the  linsey  and 
the  sacking  to  mine  own  gowns,  and  sore  do  I 
need  them." 

Waving  adieu  to  the  Mogs,  I  mounted  horse, 
and  dashed,  post-haste,  into  the  forest. 

By  'r  lakin,  but  that  was  a  ride !  Day  after 
day  I  sped  on,  o'er  brake  and  brier,  climbing 
streams,  fording  bridges,  and  when  my  noble 
steed,  exhausted,  fell  dead  beneath  me,  I  gave 
him  one  regretful  glance  and  continued  my 
journey  afoot. 

[     200     ]  So 


THE   IDES   OF   MARCH 


"  I dashed,  post-haste,  into  the  forest " 

So  reached  I  the  palace,  and  made  hot  haste 
for  the  King's  apartments. 

"  Daddyking,"  I  cried,  "  she  is  the  Innkeeper's 

daughter  1    In  verity  my  Berenice  is  but  Molly 

[     201     ]  Mog, 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


Mog,  yet  in  good  sooth  I  care  not !  She  is 
Queen  of  Love  and  Beauty,  and  I  heed  not  her 
lineage  sith  mine  will  suffice  us  both  1 " 

"  Ha !  "  quoth  King  Henry  VIII.,  "  a  Mog  of 
the  Moggieri !  By  my  faith  her  ancestral  tree 
is  a  shady  one !  Yet  stay,  my  Princekin,  't  is 
not  thine  thus  shortly  to  dispose  of  the  traditions 
of  thy  royal  race.  Howe'er  much  thou  lovest 
this  Mog  maid,  yet  is  she  not  for  thee.  No 
Prince  of  the  Blood  may  marry  a  damsel  of  low 
degree." 

"Ha!  sayest  thou  so?"  cried  I,  my  fingers 
nervously  grasping  my  sword-hilt ;  "  now,  though 
thou  art  a  stout  and  a  stout-hearted  Sovereign, 
yet  will  I  skewer  thee  through  like  a  blackbird 
if  so  be  thou  puttest  a  feather  of  hindrance  in 
my  chosen  way." 

Ere  he  could  reply  I  turned  scornfully  on  my 
heel  and  went  in  search  of  my  lovely  Berenice. 

I  found  her  in  the  blue  drawing-room.     As  I 

entered  she  gave  me  but  one  glance,  and  reading 

the   sad  truth  in   my   speaking  eye,   she  flung 

[     202     ]  herself 


Shefluny  herself  into  my  arms  and  buried  her  face  in  my  doublet 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


herself  into  my  arms  and  buried  her  face  in 
my  doublet. 

"  Not  thine  !  Not  thine  ! "  she  screamed.  "  I 
perceive  I  am  but  a  Mog,  but  a  Molly  Mog,  of 
low  degree,  of  base  and  ignoble  parentage.  Ah, 
woe  is  me  !  Alas,  alack-a-da*y  !  " 

"  Nay,  Sweetheart,"  I  said,  as  1  patted  her 
vigorously,  "  despair  not,  for  though  a  Mog  of 
the  Moggses,  I  will  yet  raise  thee  to  the  title  and 
coronet  of  a  Princess  of  the  Royal  House.  How- 
beit,  I  fear  Queen  Jane.  Is  she  not  thy  venge 
ful,  malicious  foe  ? " 

"  Not  now,"  quoth  Berenice,  lifting  her  liquid, 
tearful  eyes  to  mine  own.  "She  is  but  yester 
day  replaced  by  one  Anne  of  Cleves,  a  kind 
and  gentle  dame  of  great  good-will  toward 


me." 


"  Now  the  saints  be  praised  !  "  quoth  I.  "She 
shall  intercede  for  us  with  King  Henry,  and  all 
may  yet  be  well." 

I  sought  Queen  Anne,  and  after  the  fashion 
of  the  court,  she  received  me  in  her  ruelle. 

[     204     -]  "Madam," 


"  She  received  me  in  her  ruelle  " 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


"  Madam,"  quoth  I,  dropping  gracefully  on 
one  knee,  for  I  was  ever  of  courtier-like  de 
meanor,  "  I  am  most  miserably  fortuned,  and  I 
beseech  of  thy  great  pity  that  thou  wilt  aid  and 
abet  my  dear  designs." 

"  Huddup  ! "  quoth  Queen  Anne,  "  and  who 
may'st  thou  be,  young  Popinjay  who  thus  de- 
mandest  my  artful  aid  ? " 

"  I  am  Prince  Abeniki,"  I  responded,  "  thy 
lawful  son  and  heir ;  and  sithence  thou  hast 
made  choice  to  wed  King  Henry  VIII.,  so 
must  thou  accept  the  responsibilities  of  thy 
position." 

"  Now  by  the  Cornucopia  of  Capricorn ! " 
exclaimed  Queen  Anne,  "  ne'er  shall  it  be  said 
that  Anne  of  Cleves  failed  in  marital  or  ma 
ternal  duties.  My  son,  my  utmost  and  untiring 
aid  shall  be  thine ;  my  wit  and  wisdom  are  at 
thy  disposal ;  my  shrewdness  and  cunning  shall 
avail  thee  much.  But  haste,  tell  me  thy  needs, 
that  I  may  compass  them  ere  yet  I  lose  my 
influence  o'er  my  royal  spouse." 

[     206     ]  "Aye, 


THE   IDES   OF  MARCH 


"Aye,  madam,"  quoth  I,  well  knowing  that 
the  King  would  all  too  soon  turn  a  deaf  ear 
toward  the  Queen  he  now  adored  so  fondly  ;  and 
in  a  trice  I  had  laid  before  her  an  account  of  the 
sad  state  of  affairs  between  my  Berenice  and 
myself. 

"  Gadsbodikins  1 "  cried  Queen  Anne,  "  now 
do  I  scent  a  frabjous  fray !  But  fear  naught, 
my  bonny  boy ;  thou  hast  Anne  of  Cleves  to  thy 
mother,  and  at  her  bidding  shall  thy  way  lie  fair 
before  thee.  Yet  as  the  Eastern  proverb  hath  it, 
*  'T  is  a  rocky  road  to  doubling'  which  is  to  say  the 
course  of  true  love  never  runs  smooth." 

"  Aye,"  quoth  I  sadly,  "  the  course  of  true 
love  is  the  route  of  all  evil,  yet  so  love  I  my  fair 
lady  that  all  dangers  would  I  dare,  all  risks 
would  I  run,  sithence  that  I  might  make  her 
my  bride." 

"  Aye,"  murmured  Queen  Anne.     "  Even  so 

spake  thy  father  when  that  he  courted  me.     And 

now,  forsooth,  is  he  winking  with  the  eye  at  one 

Catherine  Howard !     Knowest  thou  the  moppet? 

[     207     ]  By 


ABENIKI  CALDWELL 


By  the  Crooked  Saints  she  hath  no  beauty  ;  she 
is  not  to  be  mentioned  the  same  day  of  the  week 
with  me  1 " 

"  'T  is  true  ! "  I  cried,  being  ever  agreeable. 
"  Shouldst  I  speak  of  thee  on  a  Monday, 
ne'er  would  I  mention  Catherine  Howard  till 
after  sunset  of  a  Friday.  She  hath  a  blowzy 
face." 

"Aye,"  said  Queen  Anne  with  eagerness, 
"  and  a  squinting  glance." 

"  And  a  wry  nose." 

"  And  a  crooked  neck." 

"And  horny  hands." 

"  And  splay  feet." 

"  And  a  raucous  voice." 

"And  false  teeth." 

"And  a  vulgar  visage." 

"Aye,"  continued  Queen  Anne,  musingly, 
"  of  a  troth  she  be  all  this  and  more.  The  fright, 
the  scarecrow,  the  eyesore,  the  harridan,  the 
gaunt,  rickety,  dumpy  monster,  I  hate  her,  hate 
her,  hate  her  I  " 

[     208     ]  "Peace, 


THE   IDES   OF   MARCH 


"  Peace,    peace,    woman,"    quoth    I,   for    the 
Queen  was  waxing  red  with  rage  and  purple 


"  Catherine  Howard  " 

with  anger  and  white  with  ire  and  green  with 
jealousy,  "mind  not  another's  charm,  nor  fear 
the  arrival  of  thy  rival.  To-day  thou  'rt  Queen  ; 
heed  not  to-morrow's  hap." 

[   u  ]     .  [     209     ]  "Marry 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


"Marry  beshrew  me,"  cried  Queen  Anne, 
"  thou  speakest  truly ;  and  now  to  mell  with 
thine  affairs.  King  Henry  hath  no  moiety  of 
tolerance  for  the  Mog  woman,  and  't  is  his  order 
that  she  be  sent  packing." 

"  Now  by  the  Saturnalian  serpents,"  quoth  I, 
"  this  thing  shall  not  be.  Packing,  forsooth  ! 
Here  stayeth  she,  and  here  stay  I,  beneath  the 
vaulted  roof  of  my  ancestors  1  'T  is  thine,  Queen 
Anne,  to  compass  this." 

"  Nay,  nay,  Abeniki,"  said  Queen  Anne,  and 
her  voice  was  as  a  soothing  salve  to  my  roused 
ire,  "  nay,  but  list  to  me.  Packing  shall  she  go, 
but  by  thee  accompanied." 

"  Ha ! "  cried  I,  "  an  elopement  ?  " 

"  Aye  ;  and  hist  whilst  I  tell  thee.  This  night 
on  the  stroke  of  twelve  do  thou  appear,  booted 
and  spurred,  in  the  turret  chamber.  There  will 
await  thee  thy  Berenice,  ready  for  flight.  At 
the  garden  wall  will  be  a  ladder  for  thy  scaling, 
and  once  over,  thy  way  is  easy." 

"Aye,"  said  I,  "for  it  leadeth  to  love  and 
[     210     ]  happiness 


knocked  him  fell  to  the  floor,  and,  seizing  hi*  own  pistol, 
I  aimed  it  at  his  ill-favored  villainous  face' 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


happiness.  Bethank  thee,  fair  madam,  for  thine 
aid,  and  know  that  the  grace  I  owe  thee  I  shall 
yet  fulfil  worshipfully." 

Now  turn  we  the  castle  clock  to  the  midnight 
hour,  and  behold  we  Prince  Abeniki  all  breath 
lessly  stealing  to  the  turret  chamber. 

Here  found  he  the  fair  Berenice,  seated  on  an 
heap  of  cushions,  rare  embroidered  and  bestudded 
with  golden  jewels. 

"  Ha  !  my  love  !  "  quoth  she. 

"  My  pride,  my  bride !  "  quoth  I. 

"  Yet  stay  not  to  kiss  me,"  she  protested,  as  I 
would  have  caressed  her  with  tenderness,  "  for 
the  time  is  ripe,  and  e'en  now  must  we  proceed 
with  all  skill  and  caution." 

Having  ever  trust  in  my  Berenice's  word,  I 
said  no  more,  but  stealthily  prepared  to  descend 
the  secret  staircase. 

But  ere  I  oped  the  door,  a  voice  from  behind 
the  arras  cried : 

"  Stay  thy  steps,  oh,  proud  bride  and  haughty 
bridegroom !  Not  for  thee  the  fancied  flight, 

]  not 


THE   IDES   OF  MARCH 


not  for  thee  the  hoped-for  elopement !  Nay, 
here  thou  art,  and  here  shalt  thou  stay,  until 
Time  shall  turn  thee  to  two  dry  and  dod 
dering  skeletons.  For  know,  ha,  ha  1  't  is  mine 
intent  to  lock  thee  in  this  deserted  turret  tower, 
where  none  may  come  to  thine  assistance  save 
robust  rats  and  mincing  mice  ! " 

As  the  speaker  proceeded,  he  emerged  from 
the  arras  and  stood  before  us,  in  all  his  mocking, 
jeering,  gibing  humor,  and  we  beheld  our  foe, 
our  arch  enemy,  Habakkuk  Hobbs  ! 

All  unarmed,  I  faced  the  villain.  Unarmed, 
did  I  say  ?  Nay,  for  my  fair  love's  arms  wreathed 
themselves  round  my  neck,  and  heartened  by  her 
soft  touch,  I  faced  the  foe  with  an  answering 
rage. 

"  Habakkuk  Hobbs,"  I  began,  and  my  sharp 
voice  cut  him  to  the  bone,  "  I  fear  thee  not !  As 
naught  to  me  are  thy  dire  threats.  Thou  'rt  to 
my  eyes  but  a  worm,  a  hideous,  crawling,  squirm 
ing  worm.  And  a  worm's  place  is  but  on  the 
ground ! " 

[     213     ]  With 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


With  these  scathing  words,  I  knocked  him 
fell  to  the  floor,  and,  seizing  his  own  pistol,  I 
aimed  it  at  his  ill-favored  villainous  face. 

But  ere  I  fired  on  the  dastardly  hound,  Bere 
nice  whispered  : 

"  Hist !  the  King  approacheth !  Wait  not  to 
slay  the  horrid  Hobbs,  but  fly  with  me  ere  yet 
we  be  o'ertook." 

I  felt,  perforce,  the  truth  of  her  words,  and  all 
silently  I  clasped  her  hand  and  we  fled  adown 
the  turret  stair. 

At  the  garden  wall  found  we  the  ladder, 
placed  by  the  faithful  hand  of  good  Queen  Anne; 
and  as  I,  with  the  grace  of  the  true-born  courtier, 
assisted  my  lovely  lady  o'er  the  wall,  I  felt  that 
a  life  of  love  and  joy  lay  before  us,  and  that 
henceforth  happiness  marked  us  for  her  own. 


[     214     ] 


CHAPTER  XII 


THE  RED   ROSETTE 


JD  ELL  was  the  night,  sith  it  was  past  nightfall, 
and  in  the  murky  blackness  I  clasped  my  Bere 
nice  close,  and  whispered,  "Canst  wend  a  few 
paces  ?  My  coach  awaits  us  at  the  postern  gate." 

"Aye,"  quoth  she,  but  as  we  wended  came 
one  of  a  fierce  wild  countenance  and  evil  visage. 

"  Who  goes  ?  "  cried  I,  and  a  deep  burly  voice 
responded,  "  Plug  Peter,  the  Pirate  !  Stand,  or 
I  lay  thee  low ! " 

"  Stand  I  will,"  cried  I  in  a  towering  fury,  "  but 
't  is  thou  shalt  be  laid  low  !  "  And  thus  speaking, 
I  put  one  protecting  arm  round  my  trembling 
Berenice,  and,  grasping  the  wretch  by  his  throat, 
I  shook  him  till  that  his  bones  rattled  ;  then 
flung  him  from  me  and  sent  him  sprawling  back 
ward  on  the  stony  ground. 

"  Now,  my  lady,"  quoth  I  in  exultant  playful 
ness,  "  I  have  slain  the  buzzing  gnat  that  would 
have  bothered  thee.  Let  us  proceed  unhindered 
on  our  journey." 

[     215     ]  But, 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


But,  alas,  we  were  counting  the  thaw  before 
the  snow.  For  even  as  I  spake  sounded  a 
low,  leering  laugh  as  of  hidden  foes,  and  in 
a  trice  out  from  behind  each  currant-bush 
sprang  a  fierce-faced,  full-armed,  blood-thirsty 
pirate,  with  gore  in  his  eye  and  a  cutlass  in  his 
hand! 

Bravely  I  fought  the  foe,  and  valiantly  I 
struck  at  one  after  another  of  the  black-souled, 
red-handed  villains.  Full  many,  too,  I  killed, 
their  dead  corpses  lying  about  me  as  flies  on  a 
fly-paper. 

But  e'en  though  I  hewed  them  down  as  speed 
ily  as  might  be,  yet  came  they  swarming  so  thick 
and  fast  that  at  last,  though  I  shame  to  tell  it, 
I  was  overcome  and  taken  prisoner.  Blame  me 
not,  oh,  gentle  reader,  for  though  my  staunch 
valor  was  in  no  way  quelled,  yet  was  I  bleeding 
at  every  pore,  both  arms  pierced  through,  and 
all  bereft  of  weapons. 

Struggling  and  screaming,  I  was  borne  aboard 

the  pirate  ship,  and  haled  before  Captain  Redgore, 

[     216     ]  the 


I  put  one  protecting  arm  round  my  trembling  Berenice  " 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


the  fiercest,  boldest  buccaneer  that  ever  sailed 
a  Spanish  main. 

"  Odsbodikins ! "  he  cried  when  he  saw  me, 
"a  Prince,  forsooth,  a  Royal  Prince  of  the 
Blood !  A  prize  well  worth  capturing,  by  'r 
lakins !  An  may 't  please  you,  young  sir,  to 
sail  under  the  Skull  and  Crossbones  ? " 

"  Confusion  seize  thee,  thou  minion  !  "  I  cried, 
and  would  have  throttled  him  then  and  there 
but  that  I  was  restrained  by  a  deckhand.  "  I  sail 
not  with  thee  or  thine,  and  I  demand  freedom, 
or  by  the  bones  of  my  ancestors  I  will  scuttle  thy 
ship  and  drown  thee  and  thy  dastardly  crew ! " 

"  Mother  o'  Monkeys,  and  Father  o'  Fish  1 " 
cried  old  Captain  Redgore,  his  bald  head  wav 
ing  in  the  breeze,  "  by  the  Great  Gherkins,  thou 
art  too  bold,  my  boy !  'T  is  but  my  whim  that 
I  do  not  slice  off  thy  head  inch  by  inch  with  my 
cutlass  I  'T  is  but  that  I  reserve  thee  for  a  direr 
fate,  —  a  deeper  disgrace.  To  the  hold  with 
him,  men,  fling  him  in,  and  ram  down  the 
ramparts  I " 

[     218     ]  The 


"  /  would  have  throttled  Mm  but  that  I  was  restrained  by  a  deckhand" 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


The  awful  orders  were  obeyed,  and  over 
powered  by  the  brawny  wretches  of  the  pirate 
crew,  Prince  Abeniki  Caldwell,  the  curled  dar 
ling  of  King  Henry's  court,  was  lowered  into  a 
dark,  dank,  deep  dungeon  in  the  hold  of  the  ship. 

The  reader  cannot  have  forgotten  the  lovely 
Lady  Berenice,  who,  all  a-tremble  at  the  sight  of 
her  attacked  lover,  stood  shivering  near  by. 

Unheeding  the  beautiful  snow  which  fell  on 
her  bared  head,  she  knelt  plaintively  before  the 
biggest  and  gruffest  of  the  pirates  and  plead  for 
her  lover's  life. 

"  Stow  that ! "  cried  the  pirate,  who  was  not 
of  polite  manner,  "  and  come  along  o'  me,  miss. 
My  orders  is  to  get  you  aboard  afore  we  sail." 

All  reluctantly,  the  fair  Berenice  arose,  and 
urged  on  by  the  grasping  hand  upon  her  arm, 
she  stepped  toward  the  ship. 

Her  gauzy  gossamer  gown  and  satin  slippers 
were  ill-suited  to  the  snowstorm  that  was  raging, 
but  a  worse  storm  was  a-rage  in  her  heart,  and  so 
heeded  not  she  the  elemental  disturbance. 

[     220     ]  Once 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


Once  on  board  The  Laughing  Hyena,  as  the 
pirate  ship  was  called,  Lady  Berenice  repaired  to 
her  stateroom  to  repair  her  toilette  and  then 
sought  the  captain. 

"  Captain  Redgore,"  she  began,  falling  on  her 
knees  before  him,  "  I  prithee,  heed  my  prayer ! 
As  thou  art  a  gallant  gentleman  and  a  courteous 
courtier,  grant,  I  beseech  thee,  the  paltry  boon  I 
ask." 

"  Fair  maiden,"  quoth  Redgore,  "  well  hast 
thou  divined  my  character  !  Of  a  truth  am  I  a 
gallant  noble,  and  as  thy  beauty  likes  me  well,  I 
henceforth  take  thee  for  my  bride.  Thank  thy 
stars,  girl,  for  this  great  good  luck,  for  had  I  not 
favored  thee  thus,  thou  hadst  been  thrown  to  the 
sharks  and  that  all  speedily." 

"  Nay,"  quoth  the  lady,  and  the  tears  tripped 
adown  her  paling  face,  "  I  may  not  be 
thy  bride,  for  that  I  am  betrothed  to  another. 
But  hear  thou  my  prayer,  oh,  brave  captain, 
and  —  " 

Her  monotonous  voice  was  interrupted  by 
[  222  ]  Captain 


THE   RED  ROSETTE 


Captain  Redgore,  who  flew  into  a  fierce  rage  as 
he  exclaimed : 


'*  *  NayS  quoth  the  lady,  *  /  may  not  be  thy  bride  '  " 

"  Sayest  thou  nay  to  me  ?     To  me,  the  pirate 

captain  of  an  hundred  pirate  ships  1  Knowest  thou 

[     223     ]  not 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


not,  thou  foolish  maiden,  that  those  who  cross  me 
suffer  a  thousand  tortures  and  die  a  direful  death  ? 
Retract  thy  rash  reply,  and  vow  e'en  now  to  be 
my  bride,  or  by  all  the  thunderbolts  of  the  em 
pyrean,  thou  shalt  be  doomed  and  condemned 
to  the  harsh  and  hideous  torments  known  only 
to  the  bold  bad  buccaneers  of  The  Laughing 
Hyena." 

Lady  Berenice  blanched,  but  the  Mog  blood 
rushed  to  her  face  as  she  replied,  "  I  defy  thee  ! 
Never  will  I  wed,  save  with  my  lordly  lover, 
Prince  Abeniki !  As  for  thee,  thou  hateful 
fright,  I  spurn  thee,  and  I  fear  not  thy  vaunted 
terrors ! " 

This  speech  was  unwise,  for  it  but  goaded 
Captain  Redgore  into  a  worse  fury  than  before. 
The  ship  shook  beneath  him  as  he  opened  his 
mouth  to  cry  out  orders  for  the  punishment  of 
the  rash  Lady  Berenice. 

But  of  such  quick  wit  was  the  lady  that  even 
ere  he  spoke  she  perceived  her  error,  and  knew 
that  she  must  hasten  to  repair  it. 

[     224     ]  "Stay, 


THE   RED  ROSETTE 


"  Stay,  Sir  Captain,"  she  cried  gaily,  and  her 
eyes  danced  with  roguish  pleasantry.  "  Would'st 
thou  expect  of  a  fair  lady  to  wed  a  man  who 
cannot  gaze  on  her  without  minding  him  of  a 
hippopotamus  ? " 

"  Now  who  dareth  speak  thus  of  thee,  my 
Beauty,"  cried  Redgore,  drawing  his  trusty  cut 
lass,  "  let  me  at  him,  his  life  is  his  forfeit ! " 

"  Ah,  ha  !  "  laughed  the  lovely  Berenice,  "  use 
then  thy  weapon  upon  thyself,  for  'tis  thee  of 
whom  1  speak.  Thou  canst  not  look  at  me  ex 
cept  thou  think  of  a  hippopotamus." 

Long  did  Redgore  gaze  at  the  lady,  striving 
to  put  the  loathly  animal  out  of  his  mind,  yet 
could  he  not  do  so. 

"Thou  seest  'tis  true,"  cried  Berenice,  "  so 
will  I  not  marry  such  an  one." 

"  Ha,  't  is  but  to-day,"  quoth  Captain  Redgore, 
knitting  his  great  brows,  "  and  but  because  thou 
hast  spoke  of  the  beast.  An  I  see  thee  to 
morrow,  with  no  thought  of  aught  but  thee,  wilt 
be  mine  ?  " 

[   15  ]  [     225     ]  "Aye," 


ABENIKI  CALDWELL 


"  Aye,"  quoth  Berenice,  as  she  hurried  away 
to  the  splendid  cabin  which  had  been  prepared 
for  her  reception. 

Anon  on  the  morrow,  as  the  captain  stalked 
the  deck,  he  chanced  upon  the  Lady  Berenice 
sitting  snugly  in  a  steamer  chair.  "My  love, 
my  bride,"  he  murmured  as  he  knelt  beside  her. 

But  as  her  merry  gaze  turned  to  him,  he  could 
not  but  bethink  himself  of  the  yesterday,  and  of 
the  forbidden  thought. 

"  Ha !  a  hippopotamus  is  in  thy  mind  ! "  cried 
Berenice,  and  all  unable  to  deny  it,  Captain  Red- 
gore  strode  sadly  away. 

On  sped  the  days,  and  strive  as  he  might,  the 
pirate  captain  could  not  look  at  the  lovely  lady 
of  his  choice  without  bethinking  him  of  the  beast 
she  had  forbid,  and  stoutly  she  vowed  none  such 
rude  gallant  should  be  hers.  Anon,  in  gay  con 
versation  would  he  forget  the  hippopotamus,  but 
ever  her  roguish-meaning  glance  would  recall  it 
to  his  mind,  and  sulky  and  crestfallen  would  he 
retire  to  his  cabin  to  weep  alone. 

[     226     ]  The 


"  On  the  threshold  she  perceived  her  late  lover,  Prince  Abeniki " 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


The  reader  cannot  have  forgotten  Prince  Abe- 
niki,  who,  starving  and  rat-eaten,  lay  languishing 
in  the  hold. 

Yet  one  midnight,  as  the  great  ship  plunged 
madly  through  the  watery  waves,  the  door  of  the 
Lady  Berenice's  cabin  was  burst  roughly  open 
and  on  the  threshold  she  perceived  her  late  lover, 
Prince  Abeniki. 

Late  though  he  was,  the  Lady  Berenice  joy 
fully  sprang  to  welcome  her  long-lost  love. 

"  Hist  ! "  he  cried,  in  a  low  whisper,  "  not  a 
word  !  There 's  mutiny  toward,  —  the  crew 
are  even  now  burning  the  ship,  and  we  must 
flee." 

"  Ha  !  say'st  thou  so  ? "  quoth  Lady  Bere 
nice.  "  Suffer  me  but  to  don  my  goloshes, 
and  I  will  dive  with  thee  to  a  deep  and  watery 
doom." 

Stealthily  we  made  our  way  to  the  halyard- 
deck,  and  then  clasping  my  fair  sweetheart  in 
my  strong  arms  I  jumped  the  taffrail,  and  landed 
in  the  pitching,  tossing,  turbulent  sea. 

[     228     ]  "Abeniki," 


THE  RED   ROSETTE 


'*  Clasping  my  fair  sweetheart  in  my  strong  arms  I  jumped  the  ta/rail 

66  Abeniki,"  murmured  my  Berenice,  as,  hold 
ing  her  fair  form  in  one  arm,  I  swam  rapidly 
with  the  other,  "  where  may  we  be  ? " 

[     229     ]  I 


ABENIKI  CALDWELL 


I  consulted  my  chart  and  quadrant. 

"  Of  a  truth,"  I  answered  in  surprise,  "  we 
are  but  threescore  leagues  from  the  coast  of 
Coromandel !  Heaven  grant  that  we  may  reach 
there  anon." 

We  did  so,  but  zounds,  it  was  brave  swim 
ming  !  Berenice  knew  naught  of  the  art,  and 
hung,  a  dead  weight,  on  my  left  arm.  And 
though  I  boldly  struck  out  with  my  right,  yet 
was  that  somewhat  hampered  by  reason  of  my 
cutlass,  broadsword,  and  milady's  bandbox. 

Howbeit,  after  some  three  days'  swimming  we 
reached  the  coast  of  Coromandel  and  hastened 
at  once  to  the  telegraph  office. 

Forsooth  it  beseemed  that  after  our  dire  mis 
haps  and  fearsome  misadventures,  King  Henry 
would  forgive  and  forget  his  ire,  and  bid  us 
return  to  his  palace  fireside  a  welcome  son  and 
daughter. 

Trusting,  therefore,  in  my  sire's  loving,  pater 
nal  heart,  I  telegraphed  :  "  Berenice  and  I  alive. 
Narrow  escape.  What  shall  I  do  ? " 

[     230     ]  All 


THE  RED  ROSETTE 


All  eagerly^  we  awaited  the  answer.  Though 
Berenice  was  hopeful,  I  was  by  way  of  being  un 
certain  of  my  royal  parent's  fond  welcome. 

For  naught  could  change  the  fact  that  my 
liege  lady  was  even  yet  a  lowly  Mog,  and  though 
foreign  travel  and  change  of  scene  had  done 
much  for  her,  yet  could  it  not  blot  the  blot  from 
her  scutcheon. 

With  a  heavy  heart,  then,  I  watched  the  mes 
senger  as  he  ambled  up  with  the  yellow  paper  on 
which  hung  all  our  hopes  and  fears.  Eagerly  I 
snatched  it  from  his  hand,  tore  it  open,  and  read 
the  brief  message,  "  Hit  her !  " 

Now  though  I  had  feared  disinheritance, 
though  I  had  scarce  hoped  for  forgiveness,  yet  I 
was  all  unprepared  for  this  base,  rude  message. 

"  Read  it  .not,  my  love,"  I  cried,  as  she  would 
wrest  the  paper  from  my  hand.  "  Read  it  not, 
but  pay  the  price,  and  dismiss  the  minion  who 
brought  me  desperation  and  despair." 

Berenice  gave  the  page  a  ruble  and  sent  him 
packing,  then  turned  to  me. 

[    231     ]  "Give 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


"  Give  it  me,"  she  cried.  "  Am  I  not  thy 
better  half,  thy  bride-to-be?" 

"  Nay,  read  it  not,"  I  begged,  but  feebly,  for 
she  would  have  it. 

"  Ha  ! "  she  cried,  "  't  is  well,  he  bids  us  home  ! 
Abeniki,  we  must  set  sail  at  once." 

"  Bids  us  home  ? "  I  cried.  "  What  meanest 
thou  ?  He  bids  me  strike  thee,  which  is  to  say, 
he  '11  have  none  of  thee." 

"  Not  so,"  cried  my  lady,  her  eyes  wavering 
betwixt  tears  and  smiles.  "  I  paid  the  messenger 
but  one  ruble,  hence  the  message  is  but  one  word, 
though  ill 't  is  writ.  Come,  my  love,  let  us  set 
out  for  the  royal  palace." 


[     232     ] 


CHAPTER  XIII 


THE  CONFESSION  OF  CALLIMACHUS 


we  sped,  our  horses  high-stepping  o'er  the 
gorse  of  the  sand-dunes,  and  as  the  noonday  sun 
sank  above  the  horizon,  I  paused  suddenly,  for  in 
my  path  I  beheld  the  prostrate  form  of  an  Indian 
princess. 

"  Stay  !  "  she  cried,  lifting  her  brown,  bare 
arm,  with  its  broad  golden  circlet.  "  Stay  !  " 

And  I  stayed,  yea,  though  my  horse's  hoofs 
were  poised  in  mid-air  above  her  feathered  moc 
casins. 

"  List,"  she  continued,  "  these  are  the  words  of 
Alfarata,  daughter  of  Opodeldoc,  chief  of  the 
Ipecacuanhas.  Ere  to-night's  moon  may  fall, 
the  tribe,  with  tomahawks  and  arrows,  will  attack 
the  white  man  and  his  fair  lady.  I,  Alfarata, 
warn  thee.  Beware  !  " 

"  Indian  maiden,"  quoth  I,  and  I  gazed  into 
her  dark,  bright  orbs,  "  why  is  this  iniquity  ? 
Wherefore  would  the  red  man  harm  his  white 
brother  ?  " 

[     233     ]  "I 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


"  My  horse's  hoofs  were  poised  in  mid-air  above  her  feathered  moccasins  " 

"I  know  not,"  she  replied,  and  her  sad,  low 
voice  was  as  the  rippling  of  the  Juniata  at  sun 
set,    "  but   it   is   ordered.      Beware,   oh,   white 
[     234     ]  brother; 


THE  CONFESSION  OF  CALLIMACHUS 

brother;  turn  yet  to  the  sycamore  tree  by  the 
marsh,  and  from  there  pace  toward  the  rising 
sun.  On,  on,  ere  yet  too  late,  and  ask  no  more 
of  Alfarata.  Farewell." 

In  a  whisper  I  told  it  all  to  Berenice,  and  spur 
ring  our  horses  we  rode  side  by  side  across  the 
plain.  But  even  as  we  rode,  I  descried  in  the 
middle  distance  the  approaching  Indians. 

Afoot  on  his  horse  stood  Opodeldoc,  chief  of 
the  Ipecacuanhas,  and  as  he  saw  me  he  raised  his 
hand  with  a  menacing  gesture. 

"  On,  on,"  I  cried,  but  though  our  noble  steeds 
flew  apace,  'twas  of  no  avail.  The  arrows  of 
Opodeldoc  came  awhiz,  and  our  horses  were  shot 
from  beneath  us. 

"  Ha  ! "  I  cried,  "  then  't  is  war  to  the  knife  ! " 

Giving  Berenice  my  pistol,  I  bade  her  stand 
beneath  the  spreading  sycamore  and  sell  her  life 
but  dearly. 

The  noble  girl  stood  as  I  avised  her,  and,  cast 
ing  but  one  glance  at  her  sad  sweet  face,  I 
plunged  into  the  forest. 

[    235     ]  Here 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


Here  I  sat  me  down  beneath  another  syca 
more  and  waited. 

The  air  was  balmy  and  the  song  of  the  oriole 
sounded  as  music  to  mine  ears. 

The  gentle  breeze  blew,  the  roses  blew,  and  the 
fresh  buttercups  bloomed  anon.  A  lark  trilled, 
imperturbable,  aye,  to  the  verge  of  indifference, 
and  as  I  sat  I  wondered.  Wondered,  for 
sooth,  what  might  portend.  For  if  the  plan 
of  interplanetary  space  be  yet  incompatible 
with  the  statute  of  limitation,  who  shall  say 
what  is,  perforce,  the  inequitable  ?  But,  I 
reflected,  mors  omnibus  communis,  which  is 
to  say,  there  should  be  more  omnibuses  in 
this  community,  —  then  could  we  have  made 
escape. 

Even  as  I  had  foreseen  came  an  Indian  toward 
me.  Slyly,  stealthily  came  he  through  the 
forest,  and  I  sat,  outwardly  calm,  but  within  a 
raging  eager  heart  and  a  good  will  to  slay  him. 
Slowly  he  crept,  nearer  and  yet  nearer,  and  ever 
nearer. 

[     236     ]  Still 


THE  CONFESSION  OF  CALLIMACHUS 


Afoot  on  his  horse  stood  Opodeldoc,  chief  of  the  Ipecacuanhas 


Still  I  sat  still,  for  the  time  was  not  yet  ripe, 
and  naught  might  urge  me  to  hasten  the  fearful 
onslaught  which  I  well  knew  impended. 

[     237     ]  While 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


"  The  noble  girl  stood  as  1  avised  her 


While  I  paused,  he  hesitated ;  while  I  waited, 
he  watched;  then,  with  a  low,  gurgling  war- 
whoop,  he  sprang  upon  me  and  I  slew  him. 

[     238     ]  The 


Slowly  he  crept,  nearer  and  yet  nearer  " 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


The  whole  tribe  then  came  on  with  hoop-las 
and  tomahawks.  All  silently  they  tied  me  to  a 
tree  with  leather  thongs  and  ropes,  my  mouth 
gagged  open,  and  my  ears  nailed  to  a  neighbor 
ing  sycamore,  and  with  blood-curdling  yells 
they  threw  their  tomahawks  at  me. 

I  waited  until  the  tomahawks  had  whizzed 
through  three-quarters  of  the  distance  between 
the  Indians  and  me,  for  I  was  ever  patient,  then, 
with  a  sudden  jerk  which  my  nurse  had  taught 
me  in  my  early  infancy,  I  wrenched  up  the  tree 
I  was  tied  to,  and  ran  away  with  it. 

Berenice  was  awaiting  me  at  the  tryst,  and 
though  worn  out  with  fear  and  exhaustion,  she 
was  still  worth  having,  so  together  we  again 
pursued  our  way. 

A  short  walk  of  four  and  twenty  leagues 
brought  us  to  the  palace,  and  entering,  I  boldly 
demanded  audience  with  the  King.  I  inquired 
also  who  might  be  Queen,  and  was  not  surprised 
to  learn  't  was  Catherine  Howard. 

"  Now  I  beseech  thee,  Sire,"  I  continued,  as 
[  240  ]  we 


THE  CONFESSION  OF  CALLIMACHUS 


"  With  a  low,  gurgling  war-whoop,  he  sprang  upon  me  and  1  slew  him  " 

we  sat  gossiping  o'er  our  mug  of  flip,  "  grant  but 
that  I  may  marry  my  Berenice,  and  — 

"  Berenice  me  no  Berenices  !  "  roared  the  King, 

"  and  Mog  me  no  Moggses !     If  thou  weddest 

[   16  ]  [     241     ]  not 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


not  the  bride  I  have  chosen  for  thee,  thou  art 
henceforth  no  son  of  mine  ! " 

"  And  naught  care  I !  "  I  cried,  stung  to  des 
peration.  "  None  will  I  wed  save  Berenice  Mog, 
my  muddy  lily,  my  bedraggled  dove  !  " 

Having  thus  spake,  I  incontinently  left  the 
royal  presence  and  fled  to  Queen  Catherine. 

"  Have  no  fear,  madam,"  quoth  I,  as  I  entered 
her  apartment,  "'tis  but  thy  long-lost  son, 
returned  to  beg  a  favor  of  thee." 

"  Say  on,"  quoth  Catherine,  who  was  stately 
and  icy  of  demeanor. 

"  'T  is  but  this,"  I  said  on.  "  I  would  engage 
thy  helping  hand  for  that  the  King  hath  set  his 
foot  down." 

"  Ha  !  "  said  she,  "  and  what  may  be  toward  ? " 

Finding  her  thus  sympathetic,  I  told  her  all, 
and  in  a  raging  fury  she  strode  awkwardly  about 
the  room. 

"  Now,  by  St.  Runcible  1 "  quoth  she,  "  'tis  a 

fine  to-do  an  a  man  may  not  marry  whom  he 

list.     Yet  sith  Henry  is  King,  none  may   say 

[     242     ]  him 


THE  CONFESSION  OF  CALLIMACHUS 

him  nay.  Prince  Abeniki,  thy  case  is  an  hard 
one,  yet  is  there  a  remedy.  But  of  a  troth  't  is  a 
difficult  one." 

"  I'  faith  that  irks  me  not,"  I  cried.  "  Show 
me  but  the  way,  and  all  bravely  will  I  tread  it." 

"Nay,"  quoth  Catherine,  deeply  cogitating, 
"  I  fear  me  't  is  of  a  wild  and  ill-conceived  nature. 
Yet  troth,  'twould  be  most  desirable." 

"  Name  it,  woman !  "  I  roared,  for  I  was  ever 
choleric,  and  shilly-shallying  held  I  in  abomi 
nation. 

Full  frightened  at  my  vehemence,  Catherine 
cried  out,  "  Name  it  I  will !  Faith,  't  is  but  to 
kidnap  the  King !  " 

Now  this  was  a  good  thing,  and  I  set  about 
with  all  haste  to  push  it  along. 

"  For,"  quoth  I  to  myself,  "  King  Henry  being 
out  of  it,  then  will  I,  the  rightful  Prince,  succeed 
to  the  succession." 

I  mulled  it  over  with  Berenice,  as  we  wandered 
of  a  starlit  eve  beneath  the  lindens  and  the 
ilexes. 

[     243     ]  "Tis 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


"  'T  is  great,"  quoth  she.  "  How  may  it  be 
done  ? " 

"  Foolish  one,"  quoth  I,  patting  her  paltry 
pate,  "  it  may  not  be  done  for  many  moons. 
'T  is  too  soon  yet  to  think  of  ways  and  means. 
Secret  conclaves  must  be  held,  spies  sent  out, 
leagues  organized,  minute-men  stationed,  treaties 
drawn  up,  faithful  fellows  found,  and  traitors  be 
headed.  Ah,  the  kidnapping  of  a  King  is  no 
trifling  matter.  You  and  I  may  be  touched 
with  eld  and  tottering  round  'neath  bald  or 
gray  heads  ere  yet  King  Henry  be  officially 
kidnapped." 

"  Hast  begun  action  ? "  asked  Berenice,  and 
by  the  grewsome  glitter  in  her  eye  I  well  knew 
she  approved  not  of  delay. 

"  Aye,"  I  returned,  "  each  midnight  hold  I 
conclave  in  a  secret  chamber  of  the  turret 
tower.  To  me  approach  all  stealthily  Queen 
Catherine  and  three  trusty  colleagues,  the  Duke 
of  Wellington,  Sir  Francis  Bacon,  and  Robes 
pierre.  The  password  is  'Ignis  via?  which 
[  244  ]  means 


The  Duke  of  Wellington,  Sir  Francis  Bacon,  and  Robespierre 


ABENIKI   CAL3DWELL 


means  'Fire  away,'  and  unless  the  countersign 
be  given,  the  intruder  is  shot  dead." 

"  Aye,  they  be  staunch  men  and  true,"  quoth 
Berenice,  but  in  a  musing  way,  which  I  well 
knew  betokened  further  parley. 

"  Howbeit,"  she  went  on,  "  such  parlous  slow 
ness  will  I  not  abide.  Nay,  an  it  be  needful,  I 
will  myself  take  the  helm  and  steer  the  ship  of 
state  to  a  safe  swift  haven,  or  wreck  it  on  the 
rugged  rocks  of  revolution  !  The  Duke  of  Wel 
lington  is  but  a  court  popinjay ;  Sir  Francis 
Bacon  but  a  learned  bookworm  ;  but  Robes 
pierre,  aye,  there 's  a  man  and  a  hero  for  you ! 
Robespierre  and  Molly  Mog  I  What  can  we 
not  dare  ?  What  can  we  not  do  ?  My  blood 
is  fired  !  I  go  to  fling  defiance  at  the  foe,  kidnap 
the  King,  and  place  Abeniki  upon  the  throne  1 " 

Transformed  into  a  very  Goddess  of  War,  my 
Berenice  marched  away,  and  returned  anon  with 
Robespierre. 

He  was  a  handsome  young  fellow,  and  't  was 

not  altogether  to  my  liking  that  my  betrothed 

[     246     ]  should 


SN. 


I 


Robespierre  " 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


should  so  forsake  my  counsels  for  his.  Howbeit 
he  was  of  a  taciturn  disposition,  and  spake  not 
at  all ;  which  earned  for  him  the  sobriquet  of 
Vox  Clamantis,  or  the  voice  of  a  clam. 

But  of  a  verity  did  he  and  Berenice  contrive  a 
speedy  plan  for  the  furtherance  of  our  policy. 

'T  was  naught,  forsooth,  but  to  enter  the 
palace  that  very  night,  and  with  a  posse  of  strong, 
brave  men  carry  off  the  King  and  conceal  him 
in  a  neighboring  dungeon. 

Ah,  Robespierre  was  a  statesman  indeed ! 
Who  else  could  have  planned  so  safe  and  speedy 
an  attack  ?  Beneath  his  martial  cloak  beat  a 
brave,  soldierly  heart,  and  as  he  stood,  with  up 
raised  sword,  giving  orders,  a  dozen  stalwart 
rebels  gallantly  obeyed,  and  a  ponderous  ladder 
was  lifted  to  King  Henry's  very  window.  As 
befitted  a  Prince  of  the  Blood,  I  entered  first, 
close  followed  by  Robespierre. 

King  Henry  was  sleeping  soundly,  which  is 

to   say  with   a  great   deal  of  sound,  and  as  I 

listened  and  as  I  watched  the  frank,  open  face 

[     248     ]  of 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


of  my  monarch  I  well-nigh  repented  me  of  my 
fell  purpose,  and  would  have  softly  departed  but 
for  Robespierre,  who  stood  plucking  at  my 
doublet  sleeve. 

"  Odzooks,  man!"  he  made  whisper,  "art 
turned  coward  ?  To 't,  I  prithee  ;  't  will  need  us 
all  to  move  yon  flesh-mountain." 

To't  we  went,  and  of  a  troth,  the  brawny 
fellows  had  great  to-do  to  move  the  sleeping 
King.  Yet  tugged  they  yarely,  and  ere  the 
castle  clock  tolled  the  hour  were  we  again  in 
the  courtyard,  our  precious  burden  bound  and 
gagged,  but  still  sleeping. 

Silently  we  loaded  him  into  a  wagon  which 
stood  in  waiting. 

Cr-r-k  !  and  in  a  moment  the  vehicle  was  but 
a  mass  of  broken  wood,  and  the  unconscious 
King  stirred  slightly  as  he  fell  among  the  debris. 

Another  wagon  and  a  stronger  one  was  sup 
plied,  yet  met  it  the  same  fate. 

Alas,  were  we  to  be  thwarted  of  our  purpose 
by  reason  of  the  King's  avoirdupois  ? 

[     250     ]  We 


THE  CONFESSION  OF  CALLIMACHUS 

We  held  confab.  The  Duke  of  Wellington 
considered,  and  there  while  knit  his  ducal  brows. 

"  'T  is  a  weighty  subject,"  quoth  he,  "  and  de- 
serveth  deep  thought." 

"  Subject  ?  Nay,"  quoth  Sir  Francis  Bacon, 
"  't  is  but  a  weighty  King." 

But  I  turned  me  to  Robespierre. 

"  What  is  to  do  ?  "  said  I  briefly. 

"  En  avant !  "  he  responded,  and  his  frowning 
eyebrows  met  across  his  rugged  nose. 

"  In  a  van  !  "  I  repeated.  "  'T  is  wise  counsel ! " 
And  with  all  haste  I  hied  me  to  a  near-by  hostler. 

"  Give  me  thy  van,"  I  cried,  "  thy  largest 
moving- van."  And  in  a  trice  we  filled  it  with 
the  King  and  drove  it  away  in  triumph. 


[     251     ] 


CHAPTER  XIV 


THE   TRICOLOR   OF  LORRAINE 


after  that  the  van-load  of  King  had 
departed,  the  Duke  of  Wellington  holding  the 
ribbons,  and  Sir  Francis  Bacon  beside  him  on 
the  box,  turned  I  to  my  trusty  friend,  Robes 
pierre,  mine  eyes  agog  with  grateful  thanks. 

"  Thou  shalt  be  my  prime  minister  when  that 
I  am  crowned,"  1  cried,  and  he  knelt  and  kissed 
my  buskin  in  token  of  worship  and  fealty. 

Then  hied  we  to  the  palace,  and  Robespierre 
ran  before  me  crying,  "  Make  way  for  King 
Abeniki!" 

Proudly  then  I  walked  to  the  throne-room. 
Proudly  I  took  my  seat  in  the  great  chair  which 
had  been  all  too  tight  a  fit  for  my  royal  sire. 

Though  not  yet  officially  crowned,  still  was  I  the 
rightful  heir,  the  next  in  succession,  and  in  King 
Henry's  absence,  who  but  I  must  rule  the  state  ? 

Entered  Queen  Catherine.      "  Ha  !    mother," 

quoth  I,  from  the  King's  chair,  "  Queen  Dowager 

thou   art,  and    I   beseech  of  thee    thy   diadem 

[     252     ]  for 


THE   TRICOLOR  OF  LORRAINE 

for  the  fair  head  of  my  bonny  bride,  Queen 
Berenice." 

"  Ha ! "  quoth  Queen  Catherine,  "  what  mean- 
eth  this  ? " 

"  Henry  is  missing,"  I  replied,  "  hence  the 
succession  is  up  to  me." 

"  Is 't  so  ?  "  asked  the  ex-Queen,  much  inter 
ested.  "Then  must  I  order  me  some  new 
visiting-cards.  My  crown  is  on  my  dressing- 
table.  Take  it  for  thy  bride,  Queen  Berenice, 
and  my  blessing  with  it.  Adieu,  I  hie." 

"  By  my  troth,  she  is  an  amiable  old  soul," 
thought  I,  "and  vastly  accommodating.  But 
now  must  I  attend  to  affairs  of  state." 

Alas,  even  as  I  turned  me  to  my  secretary 
came  the  sound  of  martial  music  and  the  clatter 
of  a  gay  cavalcade. 

I  watched  with  paling  face  and  quaking  heart 
the  splendid  pageant  that  now  entered  the  throne- 
room. 

My  blood  stood  still  in  my  veins ;  my  heart 

bounded  to  my  throat,  and  then  fell  with  a  thud 

[     253     ]  to 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


to  my  boots,  as  I  saw,  led  by  a  squad  of  gor 
geously  apparelled  nobles,  a  new  King  approach. 
Robed,  crowned,  decorated,  he  was  indeed  every 
inch  a  King,  and  yet,  oh,  how  may  I  declare  it  ? 
and  yet,  the  fiend  in  regal  regalia  was  none 
other  than  that  heinous  hound,  that  vile,  vicious 
villain  —  Habakkuk  Hobbs ! 

I  was  somewhat  annoyed  to  see  this  thing,  but 
being  of  a  disdainful  and  supercilious  nature,  I 
glanced  at  Hobbs  carelessly,  and  said  in  tones  of 
deep  indifference,  "  Art  King  ?  " 

"  Aye,"  said  Hobbs,  "  the  private  papers  of  our 
late  lamented  Henry  prove  me  to  be  his  eldest 
son,  and  therefore  his  worthy  successor." 

"Now,  marry  beshrew  me!"  thought  I  to 
myself,  "  but,  of  a  troth,  the  jig  is  up.  Verily 
doth  it  then  behove  me  to  warn  my  Lady  Bere 
nice  and  escape  while  yet  we  may  to  her  father's 
castle  at  Bois-Bracy,  or  eke  to  the  hospitable  Inn 
of  Moses  Mog." 

But  all  too  late  were  my  able  and  well-laid 

plans.     With  a  fanfaronade  of  trumpets  and  a 

[     254     ]  sickening 


THE  TRICOLOR  OF  LORRAINE 

sickening  display  of  pomp  and  ceremony,  the 
obnoxious  Hobbs  seated  himself  on  the  royal 
throne  and  took  his  sceptre  in  hand. 

"  Hail ! "  cried  the  courtiers,  as  he  began  to 
reign.  "  Hail  King  Habakkuk  I.  ! " 

Now  was  I  of  a  mixed  mind  whether  to  give 
fight  to  the  base  usurper,  or  by  apparent  truck 
ling  to  his  ill-gotten  authority  make  way  for  a 
later  and  surer  attack.  I  conferred  privately 
with  Robespierre,  who,  being  a  man  of  action, 
was  for  immediate  warfare. 

Yet  still  did  I  hesitate.  I  looked  into  the 
next  room,  and  there  saw  I  my  liege  lady,  my 
Berenice,  holding  pleasant  converse  with  Cathe 
rine,  the  Queen  Dowager. 

All  unwitting  were  they  of  Hobbs's  triumph  ; 
all  confident  of  the  coming  joy  and  happiness  of 
the  reign  of  King  Abeniki  and  Queen  Berenice. 
Should  I,  then,  tamely  submit  to  a  catastrophe 
which  would  work  them  woe  and  disaster  ?  Nay, 
a  thousand  nays !  Calling  Robespierre  to  my 
side  I  made  a  dash  for  the  throne,  and  hurling 
[  255  ]  Habakkuk 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


Habakkuk  Hobbs  to  the  floor,  I  lifted  high  my 
booted  and  spurred  right  foot  and  sent  the  vil 
lain  flying. 

"  Treason  !  Treason  ! ! "  cried  a  thousand 
voices  in  well-trained  chorus. 

"  Nay,"  I  replied,  and  my  low,  soft  voice  re 
sounded  above  the  deafening  clamor  of  the  con 
spirators,  "  here  is  the  traitor !  His  the  treason ! " 
I  picked  Hobbs  up  by  his  belaced  ruff,  and  shook 
him  at  the  infuriated  mob. 

"  Take  this  demon  of  vainglory,  crush  him  to 
earth,  tear  him  limb  from  limb,  scatter  him  to 
the  four  winds  of  heaven,  and  then  return  as 
loyal  subjects  of  your  royal  champion  !  Return, 
to  serve  and  bless  King  Abeniki !  " 

"  Aye,"  chimed  in  Robespierre,  "  Abeniki,  the 
gallant  hero,  who  e'en  now  hath  saved  you  from 
a  blood-thirsty  tyrant!  The  chivalric  knight 
who  yet  shall  proudly  rule  and  reign  the  noble 
country  left  desolate  by  the  sudden  taking-off  of 
King  Henry  VIII.  of  glorious  memory  !  Greet 
him,  ye  curs  !  Sound  the  cymbals  1  Hail  the 
[  256  ]  King! 


1  In  a  moment  I  was  captured  and  chained ' 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


King !  Long  life  and  long  reign  to  His  Royal 
Highness,  King  Abeniki ! " 

Robespierre's  eloquence  gained  the  day.  With 
one  voice  (mine)  the  people  shouted,  "  Hail  to 
King  Abeniki!" 

But  even  as  I  triumphed  Hobbs  sprang  at  me, 
hurled  me  from  the  throne,  and,  clapping  the 
crown  on  his  head,  said  quietly : 

"  Yon  is  a  madman  !  See  to  't  that  he  be  put 
in  chains  and  cast  into  a  deep  and  noisome  dun 
geon  beneath  the  donjon  keep." 

"  Aye,  aye,  Sire ! "  responded  a  dozen  brawny 
soldiers,  and  in  a  moment  I  was  captured  and 
chained,  while  my  triumphant  rival  sneered 
blackly  at  me. 

"Ha!"  shouted  Habakkuk  Hobbs,  for  King 
will  I  not  call  him,  "veni,  vidi,  vici!" 

"  Aye,"  said  I  bitterly,  "  of  a  truth  art  thou 
vain,  invidious,  and  vicious,  but  beware,  oh, 
Habakkuk  Hobbs! 

" '  Thine  is  the  throne  to-day  ! 
To-morrow,  who  may  say  ? ' ' 

[     258     ]  With 


THE   TRICOLOR  OF   LORRAINE 

With  this  dire  poetic  threat  I  stalked  haughtily 
away,  as  one  whose  mind  was  occupied  with 
loftier  thoughts. 

"  Quo  vadis  ?  "  quoth  the  Lady  Berenice,  who 
met  me  in  the  outer  corridor. 

"To  a  dungeon  cell,"  I  replied,  with  that 
nobility  of  demeanor  which  ever  marked  my 
discourse,  "  but  weep  not,  fair  maiden.  I  will 
return  to  thee  anon,  and  though  it  may  be 
a  score  of  years  hence,  though  our  locks  be 
whitened  and  our  eyes  bedimmed,  yet  is  Time 
naught  to  those  who  love,  and  full  well  do  I 
know  thy  constant  loyal  heart  will  beat  but  for 
thine  own  Abeniki." 

"Aye,"  quoth  the  maiden,  "truly  hast  thou 
judged  me  !  And  yet  more  loving  and  loyal  am 
I  than  thou  deem'st.  Not  only  will  I  await 
thee,  my  royal  lover,  but  I,  too,  will  go  to  a 
dungeon,  there  to  stay  in  solitude  and  despair 
until  that  we  both  be  liberated." 

This  consoled  me  greatly,  and  I  preserved  a 

cheerful  demeanor  as  the  guards  escorted  me  to 

[     259     ]  my 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


my  cell,  and  thrusting  me,  gyved  and  fettered, 
inside,  locked  and  barred  the  great  stone  door. 

At  her  own  piteous  request,  Lady  Berenice 
was  kindly  allowed  to  be  incarcerated  also. 

King  Habakkuk  was  loth  to  sanction  this,  but 
the  lady  vowed  she  would  wed  him  else,  where 
upon  a  small  dark  dungeon  was  allotted  for  her 
use. 

Verily,  the  bare,  stone  cell  was  a  poor  setting 
for  so  lovely  a  jewel  as  my  Lady  Berenice,  but  of 
such  leal,  loving  heart  was  she  that 't  was  more 
her  joy  to  abide  in  such  wise  as  did  her  lover 
than  to  feast  royally  in  the  King's  household. 

Moreover,  my  lady  spent  most  of  her  waking 
hours  in  slumber,  and  thus  was  she  free  from  fear 
of  rude  interruption,  for  none  came  ever  to  her 
cell,  save  to  pass  a  crust  through  the  grated 
window. 

The  weeks  waxed  and  waned,  and  all  their 

lives  might  they  have  in  their  cells  abidden  but 

that  one  day,  of  an  inadvertence,  did  Abeniki 

Caldwell  glance  out  of  his  dungeon  window. 

[     260     ]  There 


THE   TRICOLOR  OF  LORRAINE 

There  saw  he  a  strange  figure  driving  by  with 
mettlesome  steed. 


"  My  lady  spent  most  of  her  waking  hours  in  slumber 


"  Ha ! "  quoth  a  voice  in  an  inaudible  whisper, 
"  would'st  escape  ? " 

"Aye,"  replied  Abeniki,   "for  though  I   be 
[     261     ]  well 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


well  content,  yet  am  I  of  a  restless  nature,  and 
this  quietude  irketh  me ! " 

"  Knowest  thou  me  not  ? "  again  whispered  the 
voice,  and  Abeniki  once  more  gazed  from  his 
grating. 

"  Now,  by  the  trip-hammer  of  St.  Tosti,  well 
do  I  know  thee  ! "  he  cried.  "  Surely  thou  art 
none  other  than  my  old-time  friend  and  gossip, 
Jack  Pudding!" 

"  Well  hast  thou  divined,"  cried  the  Scara 
mouch,  capering  about  in  joy,  "  but  say  no  word 
more.  An  thou  desirest,  I  will  come  again  at 
the  hour  o'  midnight,  and  take  thee  away  in  this 
my  chariot." 

"  Aye,  do  so,"  I  replied.  "  Full  well  would  it 
please  me  again  to  breathe  the  outer  air.  But 
what  news  o'  the  court  ?  Is  Habakkuk  Hobbs 
still  on  the  throne  ?  How  fares  my  lovely  Bere 
nice  ?  Where  is  the  Queen  Dowager  ? " 

"Peace,  peace!"  quoth  Jack  Pudding.  "I 
may  not  stay ;  but  anon  will  I  return  and  then 
will  I  tell  thee  all." 

[     262     ]  I 


*'  A  strange  figure  driving  by  with  a  mettlesome  steed  " 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


I  heard  the  departing  roll  of  his  chariot  wheels, 
and  then  heard  I  a  sound  that  made  my  heart 
flutter  as  a  caged  bird. 

I  listened  again :  truly  't  was  a  sound  of  laugh 
ter,  of  low,  merry  laughter,  and  by  my  halidome 
't  was  the  laughter  of  my  Berenice. 

"  Odzooks,  man ! "  quoth  I  to  myself,  "  thou'rt 
dreaming !  Berenice  of  Bois-Bracy  is,  ere  this, 
returned  to  one  of  her  fathers,  or  wed  to  some 
hated  rival  of  thine." 

Thus  I  spake,  for  my  long,  weary  solitude  had 
made  me  of  sad  and  sorry  temper. 

Yet  again  heard  I  that  soft,  angelic  laugh,  as 
of  a  merry  maiden,  and  then,  even  as  I  wondered, 
the  door  of  my  dungeon  was  flung  wide  and  to 
me  entered  my  gaoler  leading  by  the  hand  my 
long-lost  love,  my  bonny  blithe  Berenice ! 

"  Good-day,"  quoth  I,  for  I  was  ever  courte 
ous  of  address.  "Art  mine,  madam?" 

"  Yea,"  quoth  she,  "  and  by  base  bribery  have 

I  prevailed  on  this,  our  gaoler,  to  let  me  hold 

converse  with  thee.     Thou  knowest  well  I  was 

[     264     ]  ever 


Leading  by  the  hand  my  long-lost  love,  my  bonny  blithe  Berenice  " 


ABENIKI    CALDWELL 


ever  quick  of  wit ;  and  methinks  I  have  now  de 
vised  a  plan  whereby  we  may  reinstate  ourselves 
in  royal  favor  and  yet  live  a  happy  life.'* 

"  'T  is  well,"  I  said,  "  and  if  thy  plan  includeth 
our  departure  from  these  dungeons,  yet  may  I 
assist  thee.  For  at  twelve  o'  the  clock  cometh 
one  with  steed  and  chariot  to  take  me  from  here. 
Wilt  go  with  me,  my  love,  my  bride-to-be  ? " 

"Aye,"  said  Berenice,  with  all  her  old-time 
simplicity  of  speech,  and  in  silence  we  waited 
the  arrival  of  Jack  Pudding. 

The  gaoler  demurred  somewhat  at  our  in 
formal  departure,  but  I  counselled  him  to  wiser 
mien. 

"  Know,  varlet,"  quoth  I,  "  so  soon  as  I  may 
perfect  my  lady's  plans,  and  execute  them,  then 
shall  I  be  in  power ;  and  certes,  I  will  not  forget 
thee." 

This  pleased  the  old  fellow,  and  anon  came 
Jack  Pudding. 

Though  clownish  of  aspect,  the  jester  was  of 

good  manners  and  golden  heart,  and  with  all 

[     266     ]  care 


THE   TRICOLOR  OF  LORRAINE 

care  he  tucked  my  lady  into  his  humble  cart 
and  we  made  ready  for  the  journey. 

On  the  way  Berenice  unfolded  her  plans. 

Like  all  of  my  lady's  stratagems  and  con 
spiracies,  't  was  beautiful  in  its  simplicity.  For 
'twas  but  to  reinstate  King  Henry  on  his 
throne,  thus  deposing  the  vile  usurper,  Habakkuk 
Hobbs. 

"  But,"  quoth  I,  "  Henry  refused  us  our  union. 
Think'st  thou  he  will  still  prove  unyielding  ?  " 

"  Nay,"  quoth  Berenice,  with  determination  in 
her  either  eye,  "for  that  we  will  bargain  with 
him  aforetime.  If  that  he  smileth  on  our 
nuptials,  so  will  we  restore  him  to  his  kingdom. 
Marry  1  I  fear  him  not." 


[     267     ] 


CHAPTER  XV 


THE   SOMNAMBULIST  OF  THE 
MONASTERY 

JL  O WARD  nightfall,  then,  came  we  anear  the 
palace,  and,  passing  the  town-pump,  saw  a  notic 
ing  pasted  thereon. 

"  Halt ! "  cried  I  to  my  charioteer,  "  I  would 
read  this  saying." 

But  ere  I  could  spell  out  its  meaning 
came  forth  a  noble  from  the  palace  to  pump 
water. 

"  How,"  quoth  I,  "  doth  King  Habakkuk  re 
gale  his  courtiers  but  with  water  ? " 

"  Aye,"  replied  the  man,  who  was  of  a  sour 
visage  and  surly,  "  though  the  King  all  greedily 
bibbeth  him  his  wine,  yet  are  his  gentlemen  con 
demned  to  absence  cF  esprit" 

"  Absence  of  spirits  ?  "  quoth  I.  "  'T  is  indeed 
a  pity.  Ah,  this  growing  curse  of  temperance  ! 
In  rerum  naturd,  which  is  to  say,  '  In  rum  man 
showeth  his  true  nature.'  By  the  beard  of  St. 
Barbican,  were  I  King  this  should  ne'er  be  thus  ! 
[  268  ]  But 


A  noble  from  the  palace  came  to  pump  water 


ABENIKI  CALDWELL 


But  what  portendeth  this  inkling  here  ?  Read 
me  it,  an  thou  wilt." 

"  That  but  setteth  forth,"  quoth  the  nobleman, 
"  a  reward  which  hath  been  offered  for  the  re 
turn  of  King  Henry  VIII.  He  hath  now  been 
lost  or  mislaid  upwards  of  a  twelvemonth,  and 
sore  do  we  lament  his  loss,  and  much  regret  the 
wicked  reign  of  King  Habakkuk." 

"  Ha ! "  quoth  Abeniki  Caldwell,  and  his 
eyes  shone  with  a  suppressed  glitter.  "  Reward 
sayest  thou  ?  Of  a  troth,  how  much  may  it 
be?" 

"  T  is  a  matter  of  five  hundred  rubles,"  said 
the  noble  gentleman,  "  and  't  is  offered  by  the 
courtiers  without  the  knowledge  of  King  Habak 
kuk.  If,  perchance,  he  walketh  this  way,  so  is 
the  writing  removed  till  that  he  be  gone." 

"  Now,  by  the  Mass  1 "  cried  Abeniki  Cald 
well,  "  an  I  restore  unto  ye  King  Henry  VIII., 
is  this  reward  to  me  ? " 

"  Aye,"  quoth  the  noble,  "  and  that  all  gladly. 

Give  us  again  our  King  Henry,  and  to  thee  shall 

[     270     ]  be 


The  two  beauteous,  high-born  ladies  sped  o'er  the  plain ' 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


be  all  honor  as  champion  and  defender  of  this 
loyal  lawless  land." 

"  Now,  by  the  scarlet  snuff-box  of  St.  Satur 
nalia,"  cried  Abeniki  Caldwell,  "  mine  is  it  to 
pluck  the  handsome  Henry  from  his  hiding- 
place  !  Mine  is  it  to  restore  to  a  pleading  people 
their  proud  and  ponderous  sovereign  !  Berenice, 
my  aid,  my  strong  right  arm,  attend  and  assist 
mel" 

The  Lady  Berenice  was  at  her  lover's  side  in  a 
flash,  and  her  hair-trigger  intellect  had  already 
worked  out  the  problem. 

"Hist!"  she  cried.  "Abeniki,  'tis  mine  to 
dictate,  thine  to  obey  !  Summon  to  me  Queen 
Catherine,  the  Dowager  ! " 

'Twas  done,  and,  mounting  horse,  the  two 
beauteous,  high-born  ladies  sped  o'er  the  plain. 

"  Follow  !  "  called  Lady  Berenice,  and  Abeniki 
Caldwell  bounded  to  saddle  and  gave  chase. 

Anon  fell  the  evening  shades  and  wrapt  the 
multitudinous  mysteries  of  manifold  matter  in  a 
murky  gloom. 

[     272     ]  "Halt!" 


SOMNAMBULIST  OF  THE  MONASTERY 

"  Halt ! "  cried  the  Lady  Berenice,  and  the 
pursuing  party  paused  before  a  lowly  cabin  and 
stealthily  peeped  in  at  the  oriel  windows. 

What  a  sight  met  their  eager  and  exultant 
gaze !  In  the  humble  plebeian  cot  sat  King 
Henry  VIII.,  all  hungrily  supping  at  the  hospi 
table  but  meagre  board  of  the  Widow  Wicks ! 
Queen  Catherine  wept  as  she  viewed  her  royal 
spouse.  Sadly  had  the  noble  form  of  the  King 
diminished.  Ill -fed,  unnourished,  his  noble 
weight  had  reduced  itself  by  half,  and  but  the 
frame  remained  of  one  who  had  erstwhile  been  a 
picture  of  health  and  prosperity.  Albeit  not 
withstanding  the  shrinkage,  greatly  did  we  de 
sire  all  that  remained  of  King  Henry  VIII.,  and 
bidding  the  ladies  wait  outside  in  the  coach,  I 
burst  in  at  the  cabin -door,  and  cried  : 

"  Father,  dear  father,  come  home  with  me 
now ! " 

In    glad    acquiescence     arose     King    Henry 

and  sought   his   hat,    but  to   my   sore    surprise 

the  amiable  landlady,  Vercome   at  thought  of 

f   is  l  [     273     ]  losing 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


losing  her  paying  guest,  flew  into  a  mad  pas 
sion,  crying  : 


Supping  at  the  hospitable  but  meagre  board  of  the  Widow  Wicks 


"Not  so!  Nay,  thou  shalt  not  take  the  man 
away !  To  King  Habakkuk  have  I  pledged  my 
word,  and  maugre  my  head,  here  must  King 
Henry  stay ! " 

[     274     ]  "Peace, 


SOMNAMBULIST  OF  THE  MONASTERY 

"  Peace,  woman  ! "  I  cried.  "  If  that  thou  re- 
tardest  in  any  way  soever  the  King's  departure, 
so  will  I  shoot  thee  and  thy  bonny  babe." 

I  drew  my  revolver,  and  in  a  fluttering  fear 
the  Widow  Wicks  cried  out : 

"Nay,  shoot  not!  And  faith,  there  be  no 
need  !  Born  of  a  lion-hearted  race,  think'st  thou 
I  betray  my  sovereign  for  my  child  ?  Ha !  know 
that  the  Wickses  were  ever  a  valiant  house! 
And  rather  than  see  King  Henry  on  the  throne 
I  perish  willingly,  aye,  I  and  mine,  and  thou 
and  thine ! " 

I  heeded  not  her  frenzied  speech  till  that  she 
referred  to  mine  own  person,  then  looked  I  about 
me. 

By  the  boots  of  St.  Barnabas,  the  woman  was 
a  fiend,  and  even  now  was  her  humble  cot  all 
a-blaze  ! 

"  Fire  !  "  I  remarked,  in  calm,  stentorian  tones, 
and  gently  lifting  the  sleeping  babe  from  its 
cradle,  I  stalked  proudly  out. 

King  Henry  followed,  and  mounting  our  hors 
[  275  ]  de 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


de  combat,  which  is  to  say  our  war-horses,  we 
plunged  madly  away  on  the  road  to  the  palace. 

Anon  held  we  confab  as  we  raced  at  hot  speed 
across  the  sandy  dunes. 

"An  I  restore  thee  to  thy  throne,"  I  said, 
"  wilt  thou  sanction  my  marriage  to  the  Lady 
Berenice  ? " 

"  'T  is  nor  time  nor  place  to  discuss  affairs  of 
state,"  quoth  King  Henry,  his  brows  darkling  as 
he  gave  spur  to  his  panting  steed. 

"  By  the  dirk  of  St.  Dunstan,  now  and  here 
shalt  thou  make  decision  ! "  cried  I.  "  An  thou 
forbiddest  the  banns  atween  my  Berenice  and 
me,  verily  shalt  thy  bald  head  find  its  next  rest 
ing  place  on  the  bed-rock  of  yon  yawning  chasm ! " 

Now  though  King  Henry  VIII.  was  an  in 
dolent  man  as  might  ever  be,  a  veritable  Use 
majeste,  which  is  to  say  a  lazy  king,  yet  was  he 
ever  agog  for  a  fray  ;  so  looked  he  down  into  the 
chasm,  which  by  my  baldric  was  no  less  than 
a  score  of  leagues  in  depth,  and  fiercely  cried 
he: 

[     276     ]  "Ingrate! 


*  So  will  I  shoot  thee  and  thy  bonny  babe  ! ' ' 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


"  Ingrate !  on  the  brink  of  this  precipice  will  I 
fight  thee,  and  so  be  it  that  whoever  of  us  may 
conquer,  him  shall  the  Lady  Berenice  wed." 

"  Ha ! "  cried  I, "  sits  the  wind  in  that  quarter  ? " 
for  though  I  knew  of  King  Henry's  kindly 
courtesy  toward  all  ladies,  yet  did  I  resent  his 
mention  thus  of  my  Berenice. 

"  Aye,"  cried  King  Henry,  "  come  on,  save 
that  thou  art  a  coward  !  Fair  fight  will  I  make 
for  a  fair  lady,  and  if  be  that  I  win,  Queen  Bere 
nice  shall  proudly  grace  my  throne  ! " 

"And  if  be  that  /  win?"  said  I,  staring  all 
haughtily  at  my  sire. 

"  Then  ill  omens  dog  ye  both  !  "  he  cried,  and 
had  at  me  as  I  stood  all  unprepared  on  the  very 
brink  of  the  abyss. 

"  Now  the  evil  demon  fly  away  with  thee  if 
I  send  thee  not  to  the  fate  thou  deservest!" 
quoth  I,  as  I  lunged  at  him  in  a  frenzy  of  fierce 
anger. 

Dancing  with  rage,  King  Henry  waltzed  too 

near  the  edge  of  the  precipice,  and  ere  that  I 

[     278     ]  might 


"  Gently  lifting  the  sleeping  babe,  I  stalked  proudly  out 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


might  warn  him  he  lost  his  footing  and,  grabbing 
me  by  the  legging,  we  fell  all  headlong  into  the 
depths  below. 

Down  we  fell,  and  down ;  hours  seemed  it  ere 
we  reached  the  mossy  banks  on  which  at  last  we 
rested. 

"  'T  is  well,"  quoth  the  King,  stumbling  to  his 
feet,  "  so  is  mine  honor  satisfied.  Embrace  me, 
my  Abeniki,  son  and  Prince  !  And  now  let  us 
hie  homeward,  that  I  may  resume  my  royal 
reign  and  bless  thy  nuptials  with  the  court-lady, 
the  Princess  Berenice." 

Overcome  with  grateful  emotions,  I  said  no 
word,  and  we  began  all  silently  to  climb  the 
rocky  cliff.  'T  was  a  rude  climb,  and  withal  a 
long  one.  Ever  and  anon  would  we  slip  and 
roll  tumbling  to  the  bottom  again. 

Yet  at  last  we  stood,  hale  and  whole,  on  the 
palace  road  once  more,  and  by  a  fleet  foot-race 
soon  arrived  we  at  the  palace  gate. 

With  din  of  drums  and  toot  of  trumpets  were 

we  received.      Hurrahing   hordes  hailed  King 

[     280     ]  Henry 


f 


"  We  began  all  silently  to  climb  the  rocky  cliff'' 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


Henry  VIII.  and  Prince  Abeniki,  welcoming 
their  return  with  mirth  and  martial  music. 

Queen  Catherine  and  the  Princess  Berenice 
advanced  to  give  us  greeting,  and  all  went  merry 
as  a  marriage-bell  till  that  I  spied  the  evil  visage 
of  the  uncrowned  villain,  Hobbs,  stealthily  ap 
proaching  the  palace  gate. 

"  Remove  him,  but  gently,"  quoth  King  Henry, 
who  had  resumed  his  olden  time  demeanor  which 
made  ever  for  peace  and  plenty. 

"  Trust  it  to  me,  sire,"  said  a  voice  of  deep 
intonation,  and  as  I  gazed,  Cardinal  Wolsey  gave 
the  fellow  such  a  blow  as  sent  him  spinning 
down  the  castle  steps  to  the  paved  courtyard 
beneath. 

Yet  was  I  not  satisfied  :  for  well  I  knew  of 
Hobbs's  persistent  nature,  and  sore  feared  I  that 
he  would  yet  return  to  intrude  upon  the  bliss  of 
our  happy  family  tree. 

And  so   stirred  this  fear    in  my   mind  that 

I   stole  out  unobserved,   and  taking   but    one 

trusty  retainer,  I  mounted  horse  and  gave  chase 

[     282     ]  to 


*'  Such  a  blow  as  sent  him  spinning  down  the  castle  steps  " 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


to   the    currish    hound  who   ever  haunted  my 
happiness. 

On  we  flew,  o'er  miles  of  rocky  desert,  and 
as  we  neared  a  dismal  swamp  saw  we  the 
dark,  sinister  face  of  Hobbs  looming  behind  a 
tree. 

I  leaped  at  him,  and  my  fierce  war-horse  sent 
him  sprawling. 

"Base  fiend  I'M  cried,  as  I  dismounted  and 
addressed  him.  "  Thy  time  is  come.  Thy  fate 
be  on  thine  own  head.  Here  will  I  fight  thee  to 
the  death ! " 

Ever  in  my  long  and  luxurious  after-life  was 
I  gloriously  proud  of  this  my  noble  attitude 
toward  my  foe. 

I  might,  forsooth,  have  spun  him  swirling  on 
my  sword ;  I  might  have  trampled  out  his  vile, 
worthless  life  with  my  charger's  hoofs ;  but  I 
chose,  aye,  chose  of  my  own  free  unvarnished 
will  to  offer  him  brave  and  honorable  fight. 

And  by  the  Gorging  Giasticutis,  what  a  fight 
it  was ! 

[     284     ]  No 


/  leaped  at  Aim,  and  my  fierce  war-horse  sent  him  sprawling 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


No  puny  weakling  had  I  for  antagonist,  but  a 
brawny  giant,  and  eke  one  well  skilled  in  arts  of 
war.  And  of  a  truth,  though  a  brave  fighter 
myself,  no  sooner  felt  I  a  few  blows  from  his 
iron  arm  than  I  knew  of  a  surety  I  had  met  my 
master. 

Boldly  I  fought,  yet  it  was  with  an  anguished 
heart,  as  one  who  cherisheth  a  forlorn  hope. 

"Ha!"  hissed  Hobbs,  beneath  his  bated 
breath,  "  ha !  thou  varlet !  This  time  am  I 
conqueror,  and  when  that  I  have  finished  thee 
will  I  return  in  triumph  and  merrily  wed  the 
lovely  Lady  Berenice.  Ha !  how  likest  thou 
that,  my  boy?" 

Fain  would  I  have  struck  the  craven  across 
his  lying  lip^  but  that  I  felt  my  last  remnant  of 
strength  ebbing,  my  eyes  closing,  and  a  stupor 
as  of  death  creeping  o'er  me. 

"Aye,"  jeered  Hobbs  as  he  purposely  pro 
longed  my  agony  that  he  might  gloat  upon  it, 
"  aye,  within  the  hour  shalt  thou  be  lying 
stark  and  stiff  among  the  rushes,  whilst  I  lead  to 
[  286  ]  the 


SOMNAMBULIST  OF  THE  MONASTERY 

the  altar    a    flower- crowned    bride,  a    smiling, 
blushing  damsel,  yclept  Berenice  ! " 

"  Knave !  thou  liest !  "  cried  a  voice,  and  my 
senses  reeled  as  I  recognized  the  loved  accents 
of  my  betrothed. 

Like  an  avenging  goddess  the  Lady  Berenice 
came  ;  storming  with  wrath,  blazing  with  anger, 
albeit  encouraging  me  to  one  last  effort  by  her 
loving,  lovely  voice. 

"Rise,  my  Abeniki,"  she  cried,  "renewed 
strength  is  thine !  Clutch  thou  the  throat  of  the 
pagan  dog  before  thee,  and  fling  him  headlong 
to  his  just  and  well-deserved  doom  ! " 

At  the  voice  of  my  loved  one,  my  energies 
awoke  anew. 

"  Die  !  thou  craven  minion  ! "  I  shouted,  and 
with  a  Herculean  hurl  I  cast  the  fulsome  form 
of  Habakkuk  Hobbs  crashing  down  to  the  seeth 
ing  depths  below. 

With  a  last  glance  at  the  fell  fellow,  I  turned 
me  to  my  lovely  lady,  who  stood  blushingly 
awaiting  my  approach. 

[     287     ]          "Sweetheart," 


ABENIKI   CALDWELL 


"  With  a  Herculean  hurl  I  cast  the  fulsome  form  of  Habakkuk  Hobbs 
crashing  down  to  the  seething  depths  below  " 

"  Sweetheart,"    quoth    I,  and  my  blue  eyes 

gazed  all  deeply  into  her  own,  "  now  is  removed 

the  last  barrier ;  now  hath  departed  our  only  foe; 

[     288     ]  henceforth 


SOMNAMBULIST  OF  THE  MONASTERY 

henceforth  is  our  way  bestrewn  with  flowers  and 
besprent  with  happiness.  Art  glad,  my  own,  my 
only  love  ? " 

"  Aye,"  quoth  she,  her  fair  face  flecked  with 
smiles. 

"  And  wilt  always  love  me  ?  "  I  continued,  as 
I  clasped  her  to  my  heart.  "  Wilt  be  ever  leal 
and  true  to  thine  own  Abeniki?  Wilt  love 
me  with  increasing  fervor  even  until  the  dark 
some  day  shall  dawn,  as  dawn  it  must,  whose 
setting  sun  shall  see  Abeniki  Caldwell  departed 
for  that  distant  burn  from  which  no  traveller 
returneth  ? " 

"  Aye,"  responded  Lady  Berenice,  and  a  tear 
trickled  adown  her  blooming  cheek,  "  even  to 
thy  dying  day  will  I  devotedly  adore  thee,  and 
when  that  thou  art  gone  forever,  then  verily  will 
I  become  the  wife  of  King  Henry  VIII." 

And  the  sad  sunset  glow  enveloped  the  pair  in 
a  heliotrope  halo,  while  the  rosy  dawn  of  night 
faintly  tinged  the  pale  horizon. 

[   19   ]  [     289     ] 


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LIBRARY,  UNIVERSITY  OF  CALIFORNIA,  DAVIS 

Book  Slip-Series  458 


N9   857839 

Wells,   C. 

Abeniki  Caldwell. 


PS3545 

E533 

A7 


LIBRARY 

UNIVERSITY  OF  CALIFORNIA 
DAVIS 


•:•• 


